First thing first, I liked the conversation back and forth between the characters. The voice was good and it was easy to catch up to know who was saying what. Something important that was missing in your story was the setting, you could've explained what the characters where wearing, how the sky looked, they were in a forest, in a valley, etc. Remember the importance of that because, even if you want the reader to take his or her own conclusions you don't have to leave out those important aspects as they build up your story.
As a little recommendation, you can add more specifications about the weapons they were using too, even if not everyone is a weapon savvy that's going to make your story more interesting and it will make the plot easier to understand and your scene will become more visual.
Good job with the story, nice voice in the characters. Keep writing!
I have to admit that when I read it was a monologue it didn't get my attention (I still wanted to read it anyway), that was a good decision. Your story was short but it was really fun. I think you can apply these type of stories into your future novels, short stories, you name it. You are good with comedy apparently.
I hope you continue applying this for future stories and create funny dialogues in a book.
That's creepy and so interesting, I don't know if you have Read "Clockwork Princess" by Cassandra Clare but if you haven't I really recommend that book, there's a character who likes to sing songs like this story that you wrote.
normally I would say that you should tell us who your Character is, his occupation or how is your character physically, but at the end in the way the story concludes those missing details makes you crave for more and you want to know "What's Next?".
I think it was really good and if you're planning to extend it don't forget to explain who the main character is (his occupation, who's his family, does he have a kid) the plot was really good and I really liked the way you added those funny comments in a fast-paced story.
Keep it up, work hard and write on.
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