The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I loved this short poem. I felt that the way you described the flower was excellent. I had a very vivid picture of a daisy in my mind whilst reading this. You managed to describe the beauty of nature perfectly and yet make it humorous at the same time!
Technical suggestions: I have none.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: You managed to make this piece feel very atmospheric and built up the tension well in the very few words allowed. I particularly liked the way you described the feelings of the protagonist.
Technical suggestions: ' personally' I felt that this word was surplus to requirements. I also noticed that you need a space after the comma following 'long'
I enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Gross out!!! The description in this piece is wonderful. It had me squirming in my chair and the last line made me laugh out loud! This is a great short story with an interesting and funny ending.
Technical suggestions:I only have one suggestion. The word 'waggle' reminded me more of an animal waggling it's tail than the undulation, of rippling, wobbling flesh.
I enjoyed your story.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a beautiful poem about clouds. I particularly enjoyed the imagery you used
Technical suggestions: I am not an expert in this form of poetry at all, so please forgive me If I've got this wrong. I think that the second line of the penultimate verse should be repeated as the first line of the last verse in which case the first verse of the last line should read 'delicate rainbows'
I enjoyed your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:I really like the way that you have tackled a potentially very serious situation in poetry form. It reminded me of the stories you were told as a child about alligators living in the sewers and made me shiver all over again.
Technical suggestions:I thought that the rhyming pattern worked well, but the rhythm did cause a couple of bumps to my ears in places.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:this is a wonderful story about how ordinary objects can become something else in the eyes of a small child. The description used is very vivid and effective, and the technique used to get the child to confront her monster, an all time favorite amongst parents! It's amazing how brave children can be when they think that their treats are about to be eaten by someone else!
Technical suggestions:None
I really enjoyed this story.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:What a lovely story!! I found this easy to read, entertaining and sad at the same time. my youngest child has just started school so I was able to empathise with the emotions expressed.
Technical suggestions:I think there may be a typo when you talk about housebreaking the pup. I think it should read '... a breeze.'
I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a love poem that describes how love does not always run smoothly. I like the ideas that you have conveyed in this piece.
Technical suggestions: There were a few variations in the rhythm of this poem which caused some bumps to my ears on reading out loud. This might be helped in some cases by the consistent use of punctuation. There appears to be commas and full stops in some places and not in others. The poem rhymes in some places and not in others which I also feels affects the overall rhythm of the piece.
I enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:This is a perfect example of a concrete poem. Whilst I am not familiar with the story behind this poem I was immediately able to work out from your wording and the shape of the bomb that this was about an innocent family killed in explosion. I felt that the diametrically opposed descriptions that formed the sides of the bomb shape were particularly effective.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: What you have written is good. It grabs the readers attention and makes them want to read on.
Technical suggestions: I was left with a sense of disappointment as there was no more to read on to. I think that if you expanded on this a little it could be worth a 4 or even a five. I'd be happy to clear my rating and come back and read it again if you do decide to make any changes.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I love acrostic's and this one is great! I particularly like the way you have used both the way a keyboard looks and the sound it makes in the different descriptions. Good acrostics should describe the actual word used and these both do this perfectly.
Technical suggestions:I noticed no errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: What a lovely poem for baby Jack. I'm sure when he is old enough to read he will love it!
Technical suggestions: I felt that their was a few places where the rhythm seemed to change which caused me to stumble in reading, although only very slightly.
I enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a perfect example of a haiku. In very few words you have managed not only to give the reader a physical description of the animal but also a dense of its personality. this is very impresive in such a short piece.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I really enjoyed this poem. It is a very vivid description of a flash storm. The description used gave me a very good picture of a rainy day. The use of short sentances helped to emphasise the intensity of the sudden storm.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a poem that expresses doubt that we really know a loved one. I'm sure that this is something that many of us have experienced at one time or another. all relationships are built on trust, but what happens when that trust is betrayed.
Technical suggestions: I particularly liked the repitition of the last line of every verse. i felt that this was very efective.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This was an interesting poem for me to read as we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here. I really like the way that you remind the reader that thanksgiving is not just a time for feasting, but for giving thanks for everything that is good about our lives.
Technical suggestions:I have no technical suggestions.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: What a lovely christmas poem. I felt that this piece really captured the spirit of christmas (pardon the pun!) which can often get lost amongst all the discarded wrapping paper and feasting.
Technical suggestions: I felt that the last line of the second verse had perhaps one to many sylables. My suggestion would be to omitt the word now.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: What a beautiful poem. I felt that you captured the beauty of the start of spring perfectly. The immagery that you used was very vivid and effective. I almost felt I was there sitting under the green trees rather than here under a cloudy grey sky.
Technical suggestions:I have no suggestions
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This poem really captures the feeling of halloween. There is an undercurrent of fear in this piece which perfectly captures the sense of excitment and aprehension that children feel at this time of year.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: The positivity of this poem shines through like sunlight on a cloudy day!! I felt that the rhyme and rhythm of this piece were perfect. Thank you for brightening this cold autumn day.
Technical suggestions: I have no technical suggestions and noticed no errors.
I really am enjoying reading your work today!!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: If only we could all learn to let go of the past and look to the future life might just be that little bit easier. I really liked the idea behind this poem, that if we are able to let go we will be able to get on with our lives.
Technical suggestions: I felt that the rhythm faltered a little in the second verse. However this may just be my 'English' pronounciation of some words.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Wow. This poem is perfect for me right now. I could really feel the sense of uncertainty in this piece, probably because i am suffering this inner turmoil myself at the present time.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors. I was so emotionally involved in this one though that I probably wouldn't have noticed even if there was one.
Again i enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Scary stuff! This poem elicited a goosebump raising, hair standing on end sense of fear in me. What more can I say!! I felt this piece emitomised the Horror genre.
Technical suggestions: I did not notice any errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
I enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I think that this poem has a really important message for us all. However much we want to change the past we can't and we must continually strive to improve the future.
Technical suggestions: Future in the last line is capitalised mid sentance. I am not sure if this is a typo or is intentional to emphasize the word.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I really enjoyed reading your poem. I felt a real sense of peace and letting go whilst reading this. If only we could all find a sense of peace and acceptance in this way!
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors and have no suggestions for improvement.
I enjoyed reading your work.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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