Let's review piece per piece.
"Life has a beginning and end, that one day must meet.
Mine has come full circle, it is now complete."
>> Now that is a strong introduction, it is brief but it tells 80% of the poetry.
"I once was here, now I'm gone.
Never had a reason to live, till you came along."
>> This phrase is really purposive; a good explanation for what an affection or love can do.
"Never knowing what our future holds,
We always planned of growing old."
>> A follow up purposive statement mixed with ambitious memory.
"My time has come to leave you behind,
You must think I'm hard to find."
>> Omniscient point of view, recalls a gloomy memory.
"I am close, I am not that far away.
I will always be with you, to help find your way."
>> A promise from the speaker to it's lover.
"Promise me any tears you shed,
are for the fun times we shared, the life I lead."
>> Now, this is a phrase where the title suits.
"Life’s choices I've made, no regrets nor shame.
If I had to do over, I would do just the same."
>> From memories to acceptance of fate. Good transition.
"My life was a journey that's come to an end,
Now I ride in peace, till we meet again."
>> With the help of the previous transition, farewell message became more painful.
"I must go now I'm not alone,
Jesus is here to take me home."
>> Adding Religious beliefs are good to poetry.
"I wish I had more time to stay,
Heaven awaits, I'll be on my way."
>> Post wishes can be a good spice, it gives more emotional vibe.
"Now here in heaven, is were I'll be.
To meet again, in heaven you must believe."
>> The death occurred and the speaker is now on the other side.
---
Poetry is a good choice for this message, it gives the message more art.
The grammar is good, and overall, this piece is a great start for you.
A little advice: You must add more words into your vocabulary, it is not a must, but specific and broad terms can be expressed even more new words.
Keep on writing, take your time, never rush. It is fine to be slow, sometimes...
"Being slow allows you to meet your inner self."
Bye. |
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