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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aiyana1979
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Melissa Medders Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is exactly the kind of story I enjoy. Your descriptions of your characters' actions are exceedingly vivid. I loved the braid of hair that serves as a weapon. The conversations, though minimal, fit the kind of characters you portray and do not detract from the story in the least. The victim's decription invoked sympathy, especially considering how the Eternal found her.

I can honestly say that there isn't anything I would change nor is there any aspect I liked the least from this excerpt. I look forward to reading what happens next.
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Review by Melissa Medders Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your poem has great imagery and its rhyming pattern (aa bb cc dd) suits it well; it's not overly wordy or too simple.

Only one punctuation error -- in line 3 "it's" should be "its" to show possessiveness.

I enjoy poetry in all forms, but especially like it when it brings attention to things such as pollution and/or other environmental issues.

Please keep writing!
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