Holy ----- wow! I am just so amazed! The story was a perfect erotica story! The description was amazing! I wanted to be Ellie so bad, I swear I did! I have no words. I am at such a loss. I could read that over and over again. It was just amazing! I am sorry I have no other words!
- Your repetition of "God please, stay right here, do not disappear" is strong. I like it because you are rhyming A,B,A,B and then it is as though your thoughts stop and all you can say in that one moment is what you mean "God please...."
- The way you worded the poem is also very good! I especially loved "Hands on the clock / My one enemy." I think those two lines were just brilliant.
- Poetry is to make the person feel and picture the scene as it plays out. It is to hold right to the end and your poem does that!
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