Hi C.R. Thanks for sharing your writing. In your request for reviews, you requested to know how it flowed and any technical challenges your writing might have. As to flow, the second and third paragraphs do not flow into the fourth and fifth paragraphs. The reason I give for this is that the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs are about the mechanics of rock and roll, while the 4th and 5th paragraphs are about your personal experience with rock and roll. If you could meld the information in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs into your personal experiences, I think it would be more effective and flow better.
On the technical side, I think that your paragraphs tend to be too long. As paragraphs should have a single theme or idea, you may want to break them into smaller chunks. For example, in the 4th paragraph it starts with your earliest memories (on idea), poverty (another idea), and writing an essay (another idea). Each of these ideas are powerful and could stand on their own. It will also help with the flow of your writing as the reader knows by the start of a new paragraph that you are moving on to a new thought.
Your writing is powerful and I enjoyed reading it. While I am older I could relate to loving music that was out of step with my parents and siblings. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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