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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/admrlkrk
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5 Public Reviews Given
32 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Romance  Open in new Window.
Review by Admiral Kirk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
***This review is being given as a part of the Chapter Recappers Group. This review is given from my point of view in the spirit of honesty and the desire to help you as an aspiring author grow and improve in your craft. Please receive my evaluation of your work and these suggestions in the spirit in which they are given and feel free to “throw away” anything that doesn’t work for you. Have a great day and happy writing! ***

A short passage defining a guy’s view on romance.
The preparation of preparing for a date, the story moves along at a rapid pace and leaves the thoughtful reader with details to assume.
The description was adequate for the passage and I particularly liked the part, “Nor was she business-like, either, but comfortable-- hands deftly defining her natural beauty so as to please.” I think it is a very nice choice of words.
The girl is described as seen by the guy who loves her. Obviously this is going to be a foggy situation. LOL
There was no dialogue.
From my point of view (and this is only my opinion) ~~ I would not continue reading a story like this because romance is not my preference and is perhaps the reason why I am maybe good at reviewing. If I were to add or change to the story and this might hold my attention better. I would pick the part, “that rounded shape and the lingering scent of her chestnut hair” and detail more description of her physical body. I would like it to get juicier, tell me about her breasts, legs, feet, butt, pussy, eyes, muscles, tattoos etc. Tell every detail and reason why she is a better, prettier, sexier doll then any other female on this planet.
I will rate this 5 because I did not find any blatant mistakes. I think the author wrote a deep thoughtful passage that can be read carefully to appreciate the author’s view, or read quickly and still grasp the author’s intent.
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Review of Presence  Open in new Window.
Review by Admiral Kirk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I wish that I could draw on the descriptive words as well as this short passage does. I am trying to write a fantasy novel, I know the plot, the players, and the events that I want to play out. My stories need more desription but my talent in this is lacking and my story drags through descrtive passages that go on too long.
Nice work.
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