Amazing story! No obvious errors. I got really caught up in the story. It almost kept me guessing until half way. Great hook and catch. I couldn't stop reading. Well done. Good transitions and pace. It also seems so real and that is what real writing is all about.
Wow!! What a great story. I was caught up in it almost from the beginning. Great flow and word choice. I also saw some decent transitions. The only issues I had were some spelling errors. They weren't anything that would slow down the reader but are still there. Keep working this. It is worth it.
I don't really understand this story. There seems to be a lot of transitioning going on but doesn't seem to flow. The ending doesn't go anywhere. It seems that you have good elements to this story that don't really go together. I'm not sure if it needs more description or what. I don't think I've helped either. I hope you keep working on this because there are some good things here. Good luck.
I really like flash fiction that truly tells a story. This piece does. It is complete and puts the reader in where the action is. I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors. Good word choices. Was this for a contest or something? I really liked it. Well done.
Well written story. I'm not sure I liked the outcome since I really like happy endings but this was pretty good. I'm not sure how believable it is with the time frame you've set up but it has the makings of a longer story. Keep writing!
Ok, did she adopt him? This is a cliff-hanger. A well written piece with a few typo's. I didn't see any grammar issues just mispellings. This piece moves well. You've done a pretty good job of showing the boy's desire to be adopted. Thanks for the story!
Interesting piece. Well written and imaginative. I've never thought about what it would be like to live without running water. This piece made me experience at least a little of what you lived through. Although I would like to go back to simpler times, I still like my hot shower on demand. I didn't see any grammar issues. Thanks for the piece!
I am really enjoying this story so far. I haven't seen any grammar issues. Good choice of words etc. I can't wait to read the rest of the novel. The piece flows well and I hope there is a happy ending. I prefer those. Good luck with the rest. Thanks for the story!
I really liked this story. It was just the right combination of reality and fantasy that makes for interesting reading. Good use of grammar and word choice. This story also flows well. Very imaginative. I'll be reading more of your stuff in the future. Thanks for the story!
This is a nice, sweet story with a lesson mixed in. The story flowed well and moved along. I wanted to find out what happened to Alfred, although I could almost guess the ending. Good use of grammar and word choice. I didn't see much that caused problems. Thanks for the story!
Good story! Very realistic imagry. I'm not a runner so I can't relate, however, I could see what the character was going through. I thought you used good language and grammar skills. Good word choice too. The only thing I would like to know is why the character felt they had to keep running. Just curious. Thanks for the story!
Wow! What a great story of the dynamics between a controlling mother and her daughter. That is very interestng. Grammar and language were very good. I didn't see anything that would make me stumble. I am just interested in finding out who the person in the picture is. I really like the dialogue. Thanks for the story.
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