After reading, "They're mine" she screamed. "Mine!", I am completely speechless. I actually turned and looked over my shoulder for fear that Carolina was standing behind me.
I think what gives this story so much credibility is the ability of the reader to relate to this writer who has just experienced a messy divorce. His attempt to grasp one more time at his dream of writing, makes him very personable to the reader.
The description of the house makes one reminicent of yesteryear at grandma's house, and the rocking chair is such a key part because of who's sitting in it in the end. Very well done.
The characters personalitites come through their cold harsh words. Their greed is magnified by the actions they take. You have let unfold a wonderful piece of literature where the story unfolds and isn't merely told. A very fine job.
The description of the rape was so well done. It was horrifying to comprehend what was happening, yet it was written with such integrity that it didn't overshadow the rest of the entire story.
I really loved how you used the pearls. Although, I wondered how she'd gotten them into her murdering little hands. I assume she stole them sometime in all her years sneaking about the crawl spaces.
I like the key. I'm always with you, is very encouraging to someone that is standing at a crossroads.
I only have one suggestion. "trying to remember with great depth" it isn't clear what they are trying to remember. Maybe they aren't remembering, maybe they are meditating on the things of the past, contemplating the present and afraid of the future? I'm not sure.
It's a short poem, but it is very effective.
The key was a wonderful touch and very uplifting. Great Job! Write On.
I found the information on this page to be very user friendly and helpful. Kudos to The StoryMaster for your encouragement and step by step layout of "How To" use the URL. I have put each of these tips at the top of my priority list and I'm looking forward to the feedback I will get from my portfolio. Thank you so much for taking the time to welcome other writers to writing.com.
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