| Those funny people are at it again... Ron, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2am and asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife." |
| The funny people are out. Found one of them... her: i'll have the salad, no nuts, please waiter: of course me: it didn't say it had nuts her: i'm allergic,so i tell them to be safe me: that makes sense waiter: and for you? me: steak, no bees, please |
| tj's-jingle-jingling; Ho Ho Ho |
| The vinophiles among us may appreciate this a little more than the rest of us. I know Paula Poundstone would. * buys 72 bottles of wine * Cashier: What's the occasion? Me: They were on the shelf. Ms. Poundstone addressed her (now former) drinking problem in this hilarious bit (from about 2:40 - 6:40): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjxnGy7Se1g&t=709s |
| [Duh, duh, duh] Another one hits the desk... While this particular puzzle wasn't exactly 'commissioned' by Ẃebbie֍Christmas To You!
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| You can find all manner of things on YouTube, to wit... A high school student stared thoughtfully at the second question on his exam, which read, "State the number of tons of coal shipped out of America in any given year." Suddenly, his brow cleared, and he wrote, "1492: None." Now you have to wonder how long he defended that answer to a teacher most likely expecting something else. |
As a 'story success strategy', scribbling the ending first is so not as satisfying as some might surmise. On the other hand, it allows me to award this announcement an "attaboy" for advanced alliteration.
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I've just edited an item in my portfolio:
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| I got five. Mostly guesses. I didn't look up the correct answers because the next time, I want to research each question. |
| Yeah, like Jay O'Toole Added: And the GiPs just keep on comin'! |
| I've come to the conclusion that a deaf person - other than my son-in-law - lives in my neighborhood and operates a motor vehicle on a regular basis. I've decided this because I can feel the bass vibrations from the car's radio on the 2nd floor of my house in the room farthest from the street. That being the case - in every case - I find it hard to believe that his/her hearing isn't "music'd to bits" by now. |
| Foul! Foul, I cry! Murder most foul! I've just been smacked in the puss by a Banana Cream Pie hurled by a Member with the wherewithal to keep their identity secret, undisclosed, and otherwise Anonymous! Aagh, the ignominy of it all, to be struck down in the prime of my... well, never mind which prime it is! |
| As some of you may recall, I enjoy "wasting time" watching YouTube videos. There's always something good for a laugh, and you can usually learn something. Sometimes, you get both. The captioned commentary provided by the content creator on a segment of "Sully" mentions the evacuation after the forced water landing. There's a closeup of a passenger beginning to swim toward shore and the commentary notes, "But in New York in winter, the temperature is as low as minus Zero..." Now that's cold. |
Nothing means more to me than hearing you say
"I'm going to marry you"
"Will you marry me, Uncle Ray?"