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To my dearest love,
I love you still and I miss you terribly. I long to hold you, to kiss your sweet face.... just once.... I need you here with me. Please come home
What do you say when words fail? WHen something that no one ever saw coming happens. When you know saying what you just can't hide but you cant say would hurt those around you. I need those words now. For two long weeks I have poured over my mental vocabulary and still nothing seems to work. A writer, failed by words. I keep feeling the pain of seeing the saddness and disapointment in their faces when I feel so... happy....
*Balloonv* Happy WDC birthday! *Balloonv*
Life is scary. It is terrifying. Things happen and you absolutely never thought they could. That they would. Your just an ordinary person. One person in a crowd. Why would it happen to you? It is ridiculous. Just one in a million. The odds are too random. They aren't. They really will happen to you. And it is scary. In that moment what do you do? Get scared? Get brave? Get quiet? That is me. Don't say a word but just keep talking. Deal with it, get through it by not dealing with it...
I love storms. Especially bad ones.... Where the lights go out. You sit in a dark hallway surrounded by your family with candles all over the place. The room practically buzzes with words and stories to create.
Have you ever had a moment when you realize that to anyone just passing by, you have to look incredibly strange? Right now I'm sitting in a college library typing on a computer while wearing a 19th century dress, hat, and boot. It is so nice to think that you could be that weird random story someone tells at the dinner table *Smile*
I'm sitting in the library after class waiting for a ride and I realize just how much time I'm wasting. Each second could be doing something monumental. Each moment affects the next. If I were at work getting seen by children and adults right now, I might become famous. If I were at home studding, I could become a genius. But instead, I choose to waste my time staring at a computer screen, waiting for my ride just so I can save a few buck in gas. Is it really worth it?
I am not personally experienced in the art of love. I have loved only once and it has been lost. But from what I have seen from all around me about this mysterious emotion. it is a very misleading feeling. I haven't given up on love. Only taken a break from the love of this world. Instead I choose to be pursued. To be wooed like no other, to be loved with a desperate kind of love better than any man could ever give me. I choose to let my God love me and never ever let me go.
For every love there is a lover. For every dream there is a dreamer. For thought there is a thinker. For every creation there is a creator. Logic supports the existence of a god. This world, my life, my heart, proves He is a wonderful one.
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