Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/letyv1981
| I woke up thinking of you today. Can you please go away? It was easy for you to leave me, why can't I do the same. Why do my thoughts go to you in the morning and at night, and at every single moment I am not keeping my mind busy! Just go! I want to feel okay again. It's not so hard to understand, right? Please... |
| I dont understand your words. You like me too much that you dont want me to get hurt. Well, you should have thought about that before you continued to create memories with me. It was all a lie and you knew how to play the part. I opened up my soul to you and instead of appreciating it, you freaked out. Like I told you once, you may "like" me. But not enough to embrace. You're a coward. And I was right. You were incapable of ever truly loving me. |
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| You must be extremely desperate to fabricate a lie to try to hold him down, sis. That lie bit you in the ass and now you don't know what to do. I feel sorry for you. To tell him that you were assaulted and then hurt your body, so that you can look like a victim... sheesh. I hope I never become that desperate. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. But to lie, is even worse. Walk away. Take care of yourself. I hope you get the help you deserve. |
| I have an obsessed ex friend. she said that she wanted nothing to do with me and I obliged and walked away. I don't force anyone to stay in my life. However, the fact that you are still trying to find ways to hurt me? what the hell is the problem? I left you alone and yet, you find it in your day to try to break me. Let's make this very clear. I'm nice but not stupid. I know when to walk away. But if you continue to poke me I will lash out. Trust me when I say this, you have never seen the bad side of me. Let's hope, for your sake, you wont have to see it as well. I'm trying to be civil. Keep it up and I'll be glad to introduce you to the wrong side of me. |
| Sometimes I feel silly chasing after you. I sometimes wonder if I am wasting my time. I think I hurt my own feelings because I want your attention and you are too busy doing other things. there are so many inconsistancies. And yet, I hold onto the little things you say to me. Maybe I should see the big picture and realize that I am wasting my time. |
| Am I being silly? I made dinner last night. My nephew comes home and prefers take out. Then I bring some to a friend and my crush. Friend says that he already brought dinner but that he will take him home so that he and his wife can eat it. My crush says he will eat it later, then buys himself a burrito. Before he leaves home he tells me that he will eat the food I brought, tomrrow, since his daughter made him dinner. I was so hurt... still am. I worked really hard and no one cared. I dont even want to cook anymore. |
| I dont want to fall for you because you are so unpredictable. but at the same time i want to see what will happen. Maybe a heartache, maybe somehting wonderful. all i do know is that when i am not near you, you get really crancky and so do i. but when we are together, we are so happy and carefree. I feel so peaceful in your presence. I don't understand how this can make you run. Is it me? or is it truly because the time is not right. We keep holding on to each other, even though it might not be the best thing to do. but I don't care, I want to stay. But will this kill me? I dunno what to do. |
| I seem to be doing these alot now these days. I want it to help me like it use to back in the day, my writing. I don't like what is happening to me right now. I have so many emotions porcolating through my body. This is the reason why I don't like to open up to anyone. Because I love hard. It's just sad to know that the one that I always fall for, is no good. Yet, even though I know this I am still trying to nurture the situation, still care for this individual! Why am I doing this to myself. Why can't I be those people that when they know something is no good they just leave. NO! I have to be the dumb butt that still wants to prove something? what that is exactly - I do not know what i want to prove. but i need to remind myself that it doesnt matter what they want, it is what I want. I want peace. that is all i can have that is all i desire. it's just hard. maybe i have to leave out of here and start new somewhere else. but i dont know if I want to do that as well.. I just need to stop... |
| This is a lot harder then what I thought. I was fine! Then I come back and I want it to be the same. But that is not the case and I need to be okay with it. I need to keep myself busy until I am okay again. I need to be okay, again. |
| I think I am doing good. I am staying away from this individual. It is true when they say to stay away, so that you can get better inside. Without seeing them, they may try to slip in my mind, but I brush it away and remind myself why I decided to walk away. They said they cared. But forgot to mention that they did not care enough to do anything about it. So, when you say: "You still love me!" I want to scream: "WHO CARES!" These feelings are not valid since there are no actions. I remind myself that actions are more important then words... |
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/letyv1981
- I really wish it was just a story. But there are some situations that are a living hell. and she is truly becoming a monster. 
- Truly, I do understand. But that is where the best stories come from. And ... I have found it is quite therapeutic to write them out, and then change the ending to something more satisfying.
- Thank you. I appreciate it. maybe they will realize that I dont have to do anything if i dont want too. hopefully they will appreciate it in the future. 
- Thank you for your kind words. have you ever thought something was going one way and then you realize that it went sideways. now you have to deal with it everyday because you work in the same enviorment. and you wish things were the same but you have to understand that it will never be okay. and you have to be okay with it? yeah... that is what I am dealing with today. lets see what happens tomorrow. 
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