\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/iamwhoiam
Please follow an 18+ rating.*
*Cake2* *Cake2* Happy birthday! *Cake2* *Cake2*
Happy 16th WdC Account Anniversary!

*Music2* Happy Account Anniversary *Cake*

Image Protector
Happy!
Image Protector
Happy 15th WDC anniversary!!! *Balloonb*
Image Protector
Happy Belated Birthday! I hope you had a really good one!
Hi there!

I see you're a member of the Angel Army Patrol so I'm dropping by to celebrate The WDC Angel Army 's 10th Anniversary with you!

May your halo shine bright
As you flit round this site
Spreading cheer and delight
To us all, day and night! *Angelic*

*Angel* HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ANGELS!
*Angel*


(P.S. All the best with your thesis!)
Image Protector
Saw your handle!
Thought I'd drop by and say 'all the best with the Master's Thesis!'
This is a small group of compassionate individuals I run. It's a place to vent and grieve. No obligations. Just thought I'd mention it. *Wink*

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1984506 by Not Available.
  •   2 comments
I'm sorry I wasn't able to get back to you right away. I've been drowning my sorrow and grief by focusing on my studies lately.
I need to prepare for two exams (the Teacher Recruitment Examinations) on July and August, which will determine whether I'm qualified for a future career in teaching at high schools here in Japan.
I've been feeling a little bit self-destructive (not eating and sleeping well)... but I'm hanging on somehow and I'm sure after the grueling preparations for exams are over, I'll find time to reflect and relax. *Cry**Smile*

Thank you so much for always sharing your kind and comforting words. *Heart*
Teaching in Japan sounds so exciting! I hope your exams go well, and you find to take care of you. *Heart*
*Angelic**Angelic**Angelic*

Thanks for being such a WDC *Angel*
*Smile* You are appreciated! *Smile*
  •   2 comments
Thank you very much for this nice surprise! *Smile*
I'm sorry for not replying right away... but the past months have been tough on my mental (studying non-stop) and emotional (grieving for lost loved ones) state; so I couldn't find the time to log in. *Frown*
This put a smile on my face today though, so thanks! *Heart*
Sorry about your loss.
Glad to see you smile! *Delight*
Image Protector
*Fairy*Thanks for being a WDC *Angel**Salute**Heart* keep shining.*Star*
  •   1 comment
Thank you very much! *Smile*
I haven't been around the site for almost 4 months... and this was a really nice surprise. *Blush**Heart*
Congratulations on being applauded, over at "Applaud a Member of The Angel ArmyOpen in new Window. You are a true, WDC Angel!!!
  •   1 comment
I can't believe I wasn't here last month to enjoy the fabulous treats people sent me for this activity... *Shock*
I've been really busy since the start of May, joining /attending seminars and study groups in preparation for two exams (the Teacher Recruitment Examinations) I need to take in July and August to determine whether I'm qualified for a future career in Teaching English as a Foreign Language in high schools here in Japan. The exams are very hard... and I'm losing my confidence in passing; but I'm hanging on. *Smile* This activity and the warmth and kindness from the participants have really brought a rare smile on my face today. THANK YOU!! *Heart*
Lately... there's been nothing but bad news in the family. I don't know how to cope with all the illness cropping up... and the death.

I've never been afraid of dying.

But losing the people I love is a completely different matter.

Last year, my grandmother's sister's husband (who I've been really closed to since I came to Japan 8 years ago) passed away due to heart problems.

Months later, came the most shocking news that my dad is diagnosed with stage 2 lung cancer... (The chemotherapy so far seems to be going well, so that's at least a relief.)

Then, at the end of December... my grandmother's best friend (who was like a great aunt to me) passed away due to again, cancer... (she had colon cancer when she was in her 50s... but she lived to be 94, before the doctors discovered that the cancer cells had been slowly moving towards her brain in the years after her initial treatment.) With everything going on in my family, and because I was away in a different prefecture for my studies, I wasn't told of her passing until early this February.

Now, we again received another bad news.
My mother's brother... (my uncle who I remember playing with me and my siblings a lot when we were younger in the Philippines) has just passed away a few days ago due to colon cancer. Since he and his family live in the province... and have been suffering from financial problems, he refused to go to the hospital for treatment and just waited his time.
We weren't even told he was suffering from cancer...

I really hate all the dark and gloom and sadness and grieving and death we've had in the family in the last couple of years...

I've never cared that much about my own mortality... but when you're faced with death, not your own but someone else you deem more important than yourself (my family), when you have to be the one letting go... and never seeing those loved ones again, but still having to deal with the aftermath, the pain of losing them... it's just... really, really... sad and painful and frightening and hopeless...

I don't know what to do.
What hurts the most is that I wasn't even able to say my last goodbye to both my great aunt and my uncle... the time and the distance separates us.
I hate being informed too late.
I hate not being able to see them one last time.
Before the end, I wish I could have talked to them one more time, laughed and joked and simply been there beside them.





(Long rambling over... I'm relieved to get some of this off of my chest.)
  •   6 comments
Take good care of yourself, mARi.

I was able to say goodbye to my dad, but not my sister. I know what that feels like. *Hug*
I feel for you and yours. I'm amazed at how well I've handled losing my Granny this year, maybe it just haven't hit me fully yet. But after losing my dad back in 2012 and subsequently losing myself...it's tough, but once you come out the other side you are able to love life more and appreciate every moment and all the little things.

Keep us updated!
Elle - on hiatus Author Icon, Brenpoet Author Icon, iKïyå§ama Author Icon, Nixie🦊 Author Icon, A*Monaing*Faith Author Icon *Right* I'm sorry if I haven't replied in so long. Thank you for offering some words of comfort and sympathy. Sadly, my update is going to be another bad news... *Cry* I just got a call from my dad telling me that my grandmother's sister had passed away just last week in her sleep. She's been in the hospital for a over a year now, and losing her husband last year made her even more depressed. She told me a couple of times during my visits that she didn't want to be here anymore when her husband already went ahead and left her behind. ...I'm sure she lived her 95 years here on earth happy and content, but the months knowing her husband is gone really drained her spirit. *Frown*

I'm not sure if it's really a good thing, but I'm fortunate enough to have the Teacher Recruitment Exams to study for until July and August (exams are divided into two parts) to keep me busy, and give me no time to wallow in my sadness and be depressed. Although, I must admit... that I'm barely hanging on. I may be distracted from depression, but the grief is still there and also the fear of losing more loved ones... Add to that the stress from studying for the exams that will determine my future career. I hate how frightening I now find my future could be - I could lose someone else (again *Cry*) and also not be good enough to fulfill one of my dreams. *Worry*

I really wish my schedule would clear up soon. I want to read something nice and light and somewhat happy here to hopefully lift my spirit up. *Smile* I'm just grateful that there are a lot of kind people here who have been offering some words of comfort and support. It's a great feeling to be part of something, and to have someone listen to my woes. So, thank you! *Heart*
Less than 4 hours to go
before "NHWAU Revival FundraiserOpen in new Window.
CLOSES!! *Wink*

Get those bids in while you can!
A lot of fabulous packages on
the "Stolen Gems" (dropnote)!!

Raffle tickets still for sale, too!
MBs still to be given away to...
Person who purchases the most tickets,
the most to gift tickets,
& the LAST ticket buyer!!

*Xmastree* MERRY CHRISTMAS!! *Xmastree*
"NHWAU Revival FundraiserOpen in new Window.
I haven't been able to drop by for more than 10-15 minutes lately. But classes will be over on Tuesday! I'll finally be able to get some (long overdue) reviews done! *Blush* (To those I've kept waiting... I'm so terribly sorry! *Cry*)

Now, I'd like to move on to some bit of advertising (before my last class for the day starts)! *Laugh*

Image Protector
FORUM
NHWAU Revival Fundraiser Open in new Window. (E)
CLOSED! THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORTED THIS! PRIZES SLOWLY GETTING DISTRIBUTED!!
#1558856 by mARi☠StressedAtWork Author IconMail Icon


We have a week left before the fundraiser closes!
So, it's time to get some nominees in!
Drop by the forum!
Title Post: UPGRADE NOMINEE
And then, list up to 5 people you'd like to nominate for a 3-month upgrade on the body of your post.
At least 1 person can win an upgrade.
(Winner to ve decided via Virtual Dice!)
If the Treasure Chest have more GPs, there could be more winners! *Wink*
* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account Options screen.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/iamwhoiam