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"Don't try to outweird me.  I get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal."

--- Zaphod Beeblebrox ---
         My rise to literary fame has been meteoric! That is to say, it fell to Earth very hard and shook up a lot of people. My writing itself has been mediocric. I keep trying though. I'm only one of 1000 monkeys trying to pound out something readable. It's going well so far. My stuff makes nearly as much sense as the pages the other 999 monkeys keep handing in!
  •   7 comments
         Monkeyshines 🍌 🙈🙉🙊 Author Icon - I've always loved monkeys (and Monkees). The first gift I ever received when I was but a mere infink was a stuftie monkey as big as I was, holding a plastic banana. My uncle gave it to me.
         Recently, I started learning to communicate with chimpanzees (as you know, apes rather than monkeys). I know how to tell a young chimp to climb onto my back to be carried and how to invite a chimp of my own age to mate. *Shock2* I've no plans to ever use the latter communication.
Monkeyshines 🍌 🙈🙉🙊 Author Icon - Yep! Swing on in to the conversation!
         Dave Ryan Author Icon - True! Also, I think the moment of readout is nigh. What's that hum overhead? Vogons? Drones? Vogon Drones?

"Select a Response, Please:
[ *Shock2*  *Laugh*  *Whistle*  *Angry*  *Reading*  *FacePalm*  *Sob* ]

(Or I'll start reciting some of my poetry!)
Ok. I'll kick in my recipe to the current discussion.

Bren always wants creamer in her coffee, but powdered creamers and even most liquid ones are mostly sugar and chemicals that are unpronounceable by non-chemists. So, I mixed up some homemade creamer:

1/4 Cup Sweetened condensed milk
8 oz. Heavy Whipping Cream
8 oz. Whole milk
2 Tsp Vanilla extract

I put all those ingredients into a 20 oz. bottle and shook it vigorously. Then topped it up with more milk and shook it some more.

         I've made two bottles of it so far and she says she loves it. We keep it in the refrigerator (naturally) and she uses some in every cuppa coffee --- so it goes pretty quickly.
  •   4 comments
tj gives thanks for all things Author Icon - That's what we started using a couple years ago, but Bren likes French vanilla. So, I whipped something up for her. I get little ideas like that from time to time. I've cut down my own sugar intake and I rarely use any kind of cream/er anymore.
         The honey sounds good and I might try some soon.
Humble Poet PNG- 📓 Author Icon - the honey has a few more calories but adds a wonderful taste. In my opinion, honey is a healthier option than sugar. My wife enjoys vanilla coffee from time to time, so I ordered some whole vanilla beans, cut one, and then added it to a small container of honey and let it sit and age. It takes a week or more, but it does add a nice vanilla flavor. Recently, with so much going on, we cheat and just add a bit of vanilla extract to the honey, which is both cheaper and easier.
         tj gives thanks for all things Author Icon - I have some honey I bought for mead, but things are too unsettled right now for me to start it. I might see what I can come up with now, and just buy more honey later.
         I've often wanted to work with whole vanilla beans, but just haven't had the opportunity. I'd also like to try my hand at making chocolate candy from square one --- starting with the beans.

         I'm a dreamer. *Frown*
"Angels rush in where fools tread to(ward) fear."
--- Humble Poet PNG- 📓 Author IconMail Icon ---

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
--- John Wayne, American actor ---
         Bren & I have much to look forward to! We have two or three recipe books of Indian cuisine. We bought some curry powder on Saturday and are excited about trying a new dish very soon!!

         Meanwhile, I'm trying to balance my growing love of the Indian philosophy and the belief that all life is sacred --- with my American need to protect our foodstuffs from mice.
"It always leads me here;
leads me to your door."

--- from The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles (from the LP Let It Be ) ---

         That describes my life and my love, relative to the few people still in it.
         Yesterday, a friend was telling me about the problems and pressures he has on the rabbit farm he bought recently. I must admit it sounds like a hare raising experience.
  •   2 comments
Wanna hear a true story that's funnier than this?

Ok, I was sure you would.

         Many years ago, I tried my hand at raising *Rabbit**Rabbit* rabbits --- and failed miserably!! Sad *Cry* but absolutely true.
Groan...
*StarB**StarB**StarB* Thank You, Veterans *StarB**StarB**StarB*
"Another exciting challenge for the Green Hornet, his aide Kato, and their rolling arsenal, the Black Beauty."

From the opening narration to The Green Hornet, 1967 television series with Van Williams and Bruce Lee. (In China, it's probably still called "The Kato Show" with Bruce Lee. Bruce was an amazing man as well as an amazing martial artist and a fantastic actor. [Confuscious not say that. I say that.] )
  •   5 comments
Humble Poet PNG- 📓 Author Icon - Well, that's just odd.
         Soldier_Mike Author Icon - There were episodes on YouTube for a while, too, with the same part cut out. I wonder if it's copyright related. Perhaps, the copyright owner(s) require that the part be omitted except for specificly authorized rebroadcasters.

         I always wondered about the vast number of posted videos on YouTube which are obviously in violation of someone's copyrights and which usually bear a disclaimer, "No copyright infringement intended." I wonder how many have found themselves in court because of the legal precept that 'one cannot negate a law by stating that one does not intend any transgression.'

         Sorry. I'm getting too far afield. I do wonder where we could buy legitimate DVDs (I avoid streaming like the plague) of the 1967 Green Hornet series.
On Clarity of Expression:

         Ms. WHITE: "He didn't seem to to like me very much. He had threatened to kill me in public."
         Miss SCARLET: "Why would he want to kill you in public?"
         WADSWORTH: "I think she means he had threatened in public to kill her."

--- scene from the movie Clue ---
         Having completed a chapbook of extremely dark short stories, I've now written an 'anchor poem' as the beginning of a chapbook of very bright and upbeat poetry.
         I've started adding the extremely dark book to my port, but it's very slow going, as I have no way to copy my work from computer directly to my port. Plus, I've been computerless since August and therefore I've been handwriting my most recent work.
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         Some restrictions apply. Void where taxed or prohibited. All of that plus any other caveats that seem reasonable.

         Whispers heard in the background:
         "Taxed?? Hey, I ain't payin' for this stuff! Restrictions!! You mean like them big snakes that squeeze ya 'til you suffocate?? What's a caveat? I thought you said there'd be caviar. Prohibited? Who would prohibit your writing, because...? Oh ok. I know. Nevermind. You're lucky they even let you read here --- and only welcome mat."
MISSISSIPPI: "Bull, d'you think these badges'll do any good if somebody starts shootin' at us?"

BULL: "Give 'em a good mark t' aim at."

Quoted from the film El Dorado
with John Wayne, Robert Mitchum,
James Caan (Mississippi), and Arthur Hunnicutt (Bull).
  •   1 comment
Great film, and Bull's delivery was just hilarious.
Q: What did Sir Lancelot wear during his stay in the hospital?
A: A knightgown. *Laugh*
  •   2 comments
Groan smiley
Yes, this is a groaner. Thanks for the laugh.
SOCIAL WORKER: "Your wife informs me that your family is being removed from the Food Stamps Program. Are you concerned about that?"

MAN: "Naw, the darn things tasted like paper anyway."
----------------------
Yes. It's an old joke. *Wink*
  •   1 comment
Weren't they green and you had to lick them and keep them in a book? *Rolling*
         I was just reading about a man who thought he was an Ellery Queen mystery novel. He was fortunate to meet and marry a librarian who loved to read, but after nearly twenty years of marriage, she divorced him. It wasn't because he sat on a shelf and turned yellow, but after twenty years he just didn't have a surprise ending anymore.
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