Me again, and still confused... Got myself a footlong at Subway and popped into a corner pub to wash it down with a small pitcher of beer. A half-lit dude two stools from me poked fun at my pitcher and belly. I blamed my sub to shut him up. "T'wernt the beer, pal, but all this bread." "Yeah, sure," he scoffed. "How you figure that?" "Well, it's like the sun, bozo... it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist." I guess he liked my answer cuz after regaining composure, he bought me another pitcher. |
Me again, and still confused. I don't understand why some people are paying $300 for cleansing one's colon... when Taco Bell's got a couple specials for $4.99? |
Being lactose intolerant - one glass of full cream milk cleanses me! |
S 🤦 - i understand that! |
Me again and still confused. With all this talk about increasing crime, it finally happened to me. But I was lucky. Two days ago I happened to be home when a burglar broke into my house. I grabbed my laser-guided pistol and though shaking and nervous, I managed to keep the red dot on his face, chest, and groin and our big ol’ tomcat did the rest til the police came. |
Me again, and still confused. Is it just me? Yesterday, I had to call 2 credit card companies and a government agency. Every one was robot answered asking me to press 1 for English. But when someone finally answered, I still couldn't understand 'em. Well they'n can butter my butt and call me a biscuit, cuz I otta start ta jawjackin' back at 'em in Kintucky holla twang; see's if'n they kin diggit. |
stevengepp - Some the "help" I get on the other end of the line sound like a severed head tryin' to talk. |
Me again and still confused. I don’t understand why vegetarians keep ragging on me because I enjoy a good steak now and then. I mean, of all the cave drawings discovered there has never been one with a painting of a salad. |
AmyJo-Christmas wishes - All cows do is eat vegetation and fart. Doesn’t that describe a vegan as well? Ah, what the devil do I know… I’m still confused. |