\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/drsmith
Please follow an 18+ rating.*
Me again and still confused.
Wife caught me in a bit a mood today.
“There you go again, always talking to yourself
when you seldom talk to me or ever listen to what I have to say?”
Without thinking I snapped back. “That’s because a lot of times I need good advice!”
Now I’m still in a mood, cussing to myself, and hungry.”
  •   1 comment
• Edited
Me again, and still confused.
While on a road trip yesterday, I stopped for a beer and burger
when I overheard some young dude hit on a gal at the corner bar.
"So tell me, have you always been a woman?" he said.

I dunno, maybe I'm old fashioned (and grateful)... cuz in the early 60's
the chics I knew weren't covered with tattoos, had no dozen eyebrow clips,
no nose rings, no koolaid colored hairdo's, and... no penises.
Oy ve... still confused.
  •   1 comment
It's probably all a Communist plot.
Me again, and still confused...
Got myself a footlong at Subway and popped into a corner pub
to wash it down with a small pitcher of beer.
A half-lit dude two stools from me poked fun at my pitcher and belly.
I blamed my sub to shut him up. "T'wernt the beer, pal, but all this bread."
"Yeah, sure," he scoffed. "How you figure that?"
"Well, it's like the sun, bozo... it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist."
I guess he liked my answer cuz after regaining composure, he bought me another pitcher.
Me again, and still confused.
I don't understand why some people are paying
$300 for cleansing one's colon...
when Taco Bell's got a couple specials for $4.99?
  •   2 comments
Being lactose intolerant - one glass of full cream milk cleanses me!
S 🤦 Author Icon - i understand that!
• Edited
Me again and still confused.
With all this talk about increasing crime, it finally happened to me. But I was lucky.
Two days ago I happened to be home when a burglar broke into my house. I grabbed my laser-guided pistol and though shaking and nervous, I managed to keep the red dot on his face, chest, and groin and our big ol’ tomcat did the rest til the police came.
  •   2 comments
what did the tom cat do?????? Did the burglur come through the door or a window?
Yep! That trusty ol' tomcat did what all try-to-catch-'ems did; it wreaked scratch and tear destruction on all of those dots. Right?
Me again, and still confused. Is it just me?
Yesterday, I had to call 2 credit card companies and a government agency.
Every one was robot answered asking me to press 1 for English.
But when someone finally answered, I still couldn't understand 'em.
Well they'n can butter my butt and call me a biscuit,
cuz I otta start ta jawjackin' back at 'em in Kintucky holla twang; see's if'n they kin diggit.
  •   4 comments
stevengepp - Some the "help" I get on the other end of the line sound like a severed head tryin' to talk.
OH PLEASE tell us how that goes.
I once read an article recommending that people press 2 for Spanish because the odds of getting a bilingual speaker are pretty high.
Me again and still confused.
I don’t understand why vegetarians keep ragging on me because I enjoy a good steak now and then. I mean, of all the cave drawings discovered there has never been one with a painting of a salad.
  •   5 comments
Where have you been? I have the same thing happen to me.
I needed that laugh. Thank you very much.
AmyJo-Spring's on the way! Author Icon -
All cows do is eat vegetation and fart. Doesn’t that describe a vegan as well?
Ah, what the devil do I know… I’m still confused. *Smile*
I wish you a most wonderful WdC Account Anniversary!
Image Protector
Happy anniversary
Happy 19th WDC anniversary!
Happy anniversary 🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂
Happy anniversay! And keep 'em comin'
Happy Anniversary!!!


*HeartP* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatR* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *CupcakeV* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatG* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *HeartP*
*BalloonB* *Quill* *Balloonr* Happy 19th WdC Anniversary! *Balloonr* *Quill* *BalloonB*
*HeartG* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatB* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *CupcakeB* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatP* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *HeartG*
*ConfettiBL**PartyHatBl**ConfettiBL*

Happy 19th Account Anniversary! Enjoy your last year as a WDC teen. *Laugh*
*Witch*

* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account Options screen.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/drsmith