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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/alf352
Your story sounds intriguing!
Great job posting your first portfolio item!
I really liked your story!
I only have 2 suggestions. 1. Put a space between the paragraphs like I did here to give the eyes a place to rest. 2. Put a definition for "flyte." Maybe it's just me, but I'm not 100% sure what it means. I tried to look it up and got 3 different definitions, none of which were what I thought it might mean.
Anyway, great job! I really enjoyed your story!
* Maybe something like this for the definition?