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| In the darkest days, when the sun seemed to have forsaken the tribe, Jules climbed the hills above the settlement alone, to consult the stones. The north-easterly wind tore through his furs and hides as though they were gossamer. Goddamn this morning air is some chilly shit. Thought Jules, and his spirit guide Mr. Wolf agreed. I'm just going to walk the earth till the spirits put me where they want me to be. Jules fantasized, but he wound up at the stones anyway. Composing himself he whiled away the time by imagining some cold blooded things to say to someone before popping an axe in their ass. He'd got as far as wondering why 'No Mr. Bond I expect you to die." should sound so good, when a burly figure in a black leather coat and some rather neat looking things covering his eyes appeared. It was however, a rather small figure. Jules wondered what this might portend. Then the figure spoke... "February 2nd. I'll be back!" Great, thought Jules, Now I have to invent a calendar. |
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| Talking to some people is much like talking to consulting a rock stone. I just had to toss that out there... |
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| I discovered this brilliant app on my phone today ... It shows what I'd look like if I were fat. It's called 'Camera.' |
| I discovered that with all the other things my phone does, it let's me call people, too. |
| tj wanderlust-words-in-motion - Now this is a new one on me. Call people? Like call other people? Why would I want to do that? |
| Sometimes, that second verification/angle/viewpoint is necessary. We have become too reliant upon the perspective of a mirror. |
| GUINEA PIG ONE (Ralph): So, that's Christmas done and dusted. What's next Murray? MURRAY MINTY (A Rat and Theatrical Agent): Not much actually. Rosie has an appointment on the WDC Newsfeed on the 26th, and Gregory has been offered a part in the upcoming Quentin Tarantino film. Ralph: What's he playing? Murray: Apparently the protagonist's little sister keeps a guinea pig. She's in two scenes, one of which will be with Gregory if he accepts the role. GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): Well that's nice for them, but what about us Murray? Do we have anything lined up? Murray: Not as such no. You see the problem is over-exposure. You're too familiar. The powers that be think you might get a bit stale, you know, same old, same old. GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Charming, so what's our former unicycling ventriloquist doing instead. Murray: As far as I know, nothing. He's out of ideas. Ralph: Doesn't he have one of those muses? Murray: Well, the rumour on the grapevine... Graham: Not much longer will you be mine. Oh honey... Murray: Thanks Graham. Rumour is that his muse is not very happy with him. Something to do with posting video links instead of writing, compounded by posting stuff on the Newsfeed without consulting her. Ralph: Oh dear. I can see how that would go down badly. They're very temperamental these muses. Toby: Yes, all very sad I'm sure, but where does it leave us? Come on Murray, you're our agent, surely you can rustle something up? Murray: I could probably get you on one of those minor celebrity reality shows. Ralph: No thank you Murray. Murray: Or there's that Japanese influenced game show. You know a bit like Squid, but it's actually 'Prawn Surprise'. Toby: Sounds a bit fishy to be honest Murray. Murray: It's all that's available at the moment guys. Ralph: I've had an idea. Graham, Toby and Murray: Yes? Ralph: What if we dress up as hedgehogs? Toby: err! What for? Ralph: Well 'The Quills' are coming up. Perhaps we could pass ourselves off as very small porcupines and gate crash the awards ceremony... Why are you looking at me like that? |
SandraLynn  - Such a visual that invoked! My late M-I-L was talking about Dancing with the Stars a while ago. She was very put out when Donny Osmond won. "He shouldn't have won, he's already a celebrity!" It's possible she missed the point of the show, but what do I know. |
Now, after commenting I find my thoughts are: Why did I not present this idea to The StoryMaster   , he could add the fortune cookies filled with prompts to the Writing.Com Shop! |
🐕GeminiGem🎁  - Yes! I can see the guinea pigs dancing the dramatic Paso Doble and the Argentine Tango. Oh, they will attempt to adopt the stern, unyielding, upper body posture and execute the sharp , energetic kicks. I may be wrong, but I can hear Graham softly gweeping along to the music as he wills his tiny feet to mimic the intricate dance steps. |
Yesterday Cubby ~ Back to Packing  mentioned that her hubby had not (as far as she knew) ever tried putting hot sauce on a peanut butter sandwich. Ever one to take up an unlikely challenge, I undertook to try the same today, and report back. I prepared one peanut butter sandwich with a hot sauce based on the scotch bonnet, one peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich - also with the hot sauce, and one peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich for 'afters' (no hot sauce on that one.) Peanut butter seems to deaden the effect of hot sauce - I mean - I could tell it was there, but it wasn't causing any oral inferno, and PB was the main flavour - with a lingering warmth on the pallet delivered by the sauce. PB&J similarly didn't seem to suffer any ill effects from the addition of a few shakes of scotch bonnet derived hot sauce. Overall, I don't think it adds enough to be worth repeating, but - I have at least tried it. In other news, I have received two Quill Award nominations - Thank you whoever is responsible for those.  |
Adherennium - Maybe Writing?, I wonder how hot sauce would taste on a tuna sandwich??? I do put jalapenos on mine on occasion, if it's made on a sub bun. My hubby once replaced the mayo with mustard, just for an experiment. Nope. Don't try it.  Congrats on your Quill nominations! |
| Congratulations, well done! Oh, and good job with the Quill nominations, too. |
| Coincidence! Last night at the pub they had a schnitzel topping called 'Fire & Ice.' Bacon, red onion, tomato-based sauce and lots of jalapeno peppers with melted cheese, topped with sour cream. There were other things there as well, but that was the main. Absolutely gorgeous! The heat of the chillis with the cooling of the sour cream was such a good combo. And, great, now I'm hungry... |
| Thought I'd try my hand at this podcasting everyone seems to be talking about. I found that I could get most of the things I needed off the Internet, but the pods themselves proved more difficult. The supermarket only had those mange tout, and they just don't look as good as full bodied peas. A quick visit to our local allotments and I came away with a big bag. Sorted. |
tj wanderlust-words-in-motion - or it could be spell casting with pods as the framework! Or is it past the witching hour?   |
| Since I had some left over, I also got to try pod racing. Bit like Pooh sticks, but with pea pods |
| I bought one of those Self Help books. It had a whole chapter on 'freeing your mind', with step by step instructions, which naturally I followed assiduously. So err. Does anyone have a book or a pamphlet or something, anything at all, on ways to re-capture your mind when you've set it free? Ahem! Please excuse my mindless ramblings. |
| As you may know we've had a bit of a cold snap in the UK. Our car was frosted over and had to be scrapped free of snow and ice before we could use it - pretty much every day this week. So the inevitable happened and our scraper fell apart under the strain. "Now what?" we thought. So my dear wife suggested that I use a plastic card to at least get the windscreen clear. This sounded a good idea, so I selected a card that was least important, and easiest replaced, choosing my 'Our prices are even worse if you don't use our Loyalty Card'. After a good few minutes my wife - alerted by the fact that the air was now turning blue as well as my nose - asked what was wrong. "This isn't working" I replied, "It's only getting 10% off" |
| I miss those halcyon days when vehicles were equipped with cassette players. Those little, hard plastic cases meant to protect cassette tapes were great for scraping ice off windshields. |
| There are many shortcomings to aging. However, retiring and not leaving so early in the morning, thereby avoiding the need to scrape windows, is a blessing. |
| We here at Finchwick's Traditional Packaging Limited (Est. 1838) would like to register our abhorrence of the modern trend for thinking outside of the box. It is manifestly obvious that this unnatural practice is the sole reason for the collapse of firm moral standards, and the prevalence of those partaking in the so called 'permissive society' which can only lead to Armageddon, or at the very least Ikea, as predicted by the profit Margin. |
| I agree with Mr. Finchwick; take a lesson from cats, it's always better to think inside a box. I'm surprised Beholden  hasn't written about this in his list of Things to Learn from Cats. Maybe this will correct my writer's block, I need a big box to sit in... |
| tj wanderlust-words-in-motion - The subject of cats in boxes deserves a book unto itself. It's something that only angels dare to broach. |
| I wonder, thought Cynthia pensively, how one whiffles? She put down her copy of 'Alice Through The Looking Glass', and stared out into the garden in uffish thought, without actually seeing anything out there at all. Is it anything like waffling? Dear Bertie's very good at waffling, though thankfully no one had ever shown the slightest inclination to snicker-snack him with a vorpal blade. Aloud she said, "Imagine how tiresome it would be if flowers really talked." "Yeah, just imagine." Said her cactus. Oh dear. Thought Cynthia, Must it always be like this after one of Mr. Leary's visits? In the Tulgey Woods, just beyond the garden wall, she could see the slowly spreading grin of the Cheshire Cat. And you're in the wrong story. She watched as the cat faded, leaving only it's unnerving grin. That's what too much Dismay Company does for you. Cynthia had a very low opinion of the Dismay Company, and would sometimes take favoured guests down into the cellar to see it. "Twas brillig..." She heard wafting, or was it whiffling? Either way the nonsense made it's frabjous way to her ears. I wonder if mome raths ever circle light bulbs? Cynthia could never quite rid herself of the idea that mome raths were some species of moth 'Lepidoptera Slithyus Tovesum' perhaps. "Can I listen to some music?" asked the cactus. With a sigh, Cynthia popped her headphones over the prickles and instructed her phone to play something by Clive Nolan and Oliver Wakeman. "Thanks." Said the cactus. "Could have been worse." It said to itself, "She could have put on 'My Way.' |
| I don't know what ambitions that you have for this year, but I'm going to share one of mine.... I am hoping (and actually working towards), learning the lyrics to 'Reviewing the Situation' from Oliver, as sung by Ron Moody. I think I'd make a good stab at performing this, given half a chance. Oliver is the first film that I can remember seeing, and as such I fondly remember it. I've loved musicals in general ever since. "I think I'd better think it out again..." |
| My first poem of 2025: "The Broken Cornucopia"  |
| Beholden - Literally a license to lie loquacious and loud in luxurious lassitude, lest I lose legitimacy in my legerdemain! |
Elycia Lee ☮ Happy 2025!  - Acquiescent I accept the accusation of a contagious calling, confirming thus my claim to calumny as to a vocal comedic vocation. |
| [Opening shot of Cassius, clad in a toga, seated at his drum kit.] CASSIUS: I. II. I. II. III. IV. [Cut to head shot of Mick Jagger] MICK JAGGER: Well of course most people think of the division as being between us and the Beatles. They forget that way before the Beatles ever appeared on the scene, it was either The Rolling Stones or it was Absolute Nero. They even had pictures of us on the cover of their album 'Centurion Saltus.' NARRATOR: In 117 C.E. Rome was at the very pinnacle of it's power, and so too were the world's original Classic rock band, Absolute Nero. Formed in 111 C.E. by drummer Cassius with friends Lucius (lead guitar), Marcus (bass), and lead singer Titia, a year later the band added organist Tiberia, giving them their unique sound, that has since inspired such artists as The Stranglers, Kid Creole and the Coconuts, and of course Max Raabe. Building a reputation took time, and the group toured widely playing tabernae, enopolium and balnea across the empire. Often they were opening for more established artists, such as Cliff Richard or Willie Nelson, but slowly their own following was building up. Then in 113 C.E. came their big break. They were chosen to be the half time act for the chariot races held in the Circus Maximus, and took the empire by storm. MARCUS: Of course the nay sayers claim that it was Titia's wardrobe malfunction that really made us stick in everyone's memoria, but we were playing some darned fine music too. NARRATOR: Soon their debut album 'For Those About To Die Extremely Horribly', (the title later paid homage to by AC/DC), was romping up the charts. Absolute Nero had arrived, and the media was full of articles about them. Enterprising media mogul Opera Winefeld saw the potential early on. OPERA WINEFELD: So we decided to put out a serious music parchment, Novum Musicorum Expressum, targeted at the Roman youth. It was a massive hit, and we were employing half a million scribes across the Empire just to keep up with printing demands. |
| On behalf of the highly secretive organisation that I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with WHATSOEVER, I would like to thank the anonymous donor who recently sent gift points to the "Highly Secret Groundhog Association" . I can confirm that the Groundhog has issued the following statement: |
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