One man's journey to find the way home |
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
Trusting strength to continue. I am hoping to continue writing even with no storage. I continue to fight cancer. I love writing but also know I have limits. I am glad I can still blog. It seems one window closed means I still have opportunity to share by blogging. I hope everyone has a great day. I am glad to be a part of such a caring community |
Grateful for time with family. I spent most of yesterday talking to family members. At times making good connections. There is nothing more important than saying hello to family and friends on the holiday. I talked with brothers and sisters. It was the highlight of my day. It is a great gift to be with family on a holiday |
Hope springs eternal in the season of thanksgiving. I have a lot of challenges and yet knowing God is with me makes it worth it. I am above all glad for the season of thanksgiving and possible outcomes. Today I will be by myself on a holiday. Family is never far away. I am glad to blog.ay God help me in ways others see and believe. Right now so many obstacles. Be with me Lord. |
The resources don't seem to be there. Not money for rent, lots of debt. Need to trust God with my kids can help me get through the mess. Today is counseling day and seeing doctors to see how to deal with cancer. I look forward to spending time with grandkids watching a movie and eating lasagna. I just pray God finds ways to keep me strong in the midst of chaos. |
Tough way to spend the day. Got contacted by PayPal saying I owed them 1765.00, a lousy way to start the holiday or blog. I am too used to this. I only know it is my responsibility to figure the mess out and my anger is not going to help. I hope my kids understand. I called a crisis center last night. I guess all I have is time and I pray I make good use of it. Less than 10 minutes for phone call. Good luck. |
It began with a dream about helping a fireman stir up passion for community. It is what I want above all. Cancer is tough. I am faced with fighting a monster I can't see and much of the time I have brain fog and wonder if anyone really understands. The bottom line is I am on chemo hoping for a bone marrow transplant. I am with family enjoying the holidays and hopefully I can shake off the fog enough to get in the fray. One of my bigger goals is to get a family genealogy going in the context of family systems therapy. Thanks for tuning in. Hopefully my journey can help someone. At the moment I feel a bit pessimistic and yet with God's help that can change. Thanks for reading. |
Glad I can be with my family for the holidays. I will look forward to sharing stories of my cancer journey. I guess when all else fails get chemotherapy. I pray it works. Sleepy today for some reason. Maybe it is the cold. My kids are caring for me. Pray they learn patience. |
It feels like the day after getting doctoral assessment about bone marrow transplant I would be happy. There was .40 cancer in my results. So now what. I go on chemo and transplant seems out of the picture no matter what. It feels like I am being cornered. I love my family and long to see my wife who is in a nursing home in Erie. I love being a pastor. My faith in resurrection is firm. I just do not know where things go. I am resigned to enjoy the life I have left. To God be the glory. Just one more time with my family, a walk in the snow or rain be with me Lord. Hugs for all who loved me. I miss my kids and grandkids so the question becomes how do I manage the rest of my life? |
Finally I get to the day where I see what happens with Leukemia. Hopefully it will be a good day. It has been busy of late with no washer or dryer working and my razor also does not work. Help me be patient God. |