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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| Step 1...don't trust too quickly. Step 2...when you do begin to trust, limit it to what you can afford to lose...eg; don't share PINs or passwords...ever. Step 3...relax and eventually, you will see who it is you have met. There are a lot of YouTube channels explicitly devoted to expats here in Thailand on how to avoid the scams that Thai women reportedly perpetrate upon them. I've devoted the better part of seven months watching these videos, in an effort to learn how to avoid becoming another victim of these so-called, female 'evil-doers'. In Australia, there has been a huge shift in family law to protect the rights of women when it comes to dividing the assets when a couple separates and divorces. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes down to this contentious subject, and when legislators and finally, governments pass new laws, they are never going to be perfect. And given the fact that in the past, men, in general, got a better deal when it came to property settlements due to divorce, then throw in the much-publicized, yet not always fairly reported cases of domestic violence (a subject I am passionate about "Blame, Denial, Honesty & Forgiveness"  ), in my opinion, the pendulum has swung too far and now, men fear getting into relationships far too often because of the implications associated with allowing someone to move into their home.If I meet a woman in Australia, and she moves into my house, she only needs to live with me for six months before she can claim defacto status, and if we separate, she can claim through the Family Court for a property settlement. 50-50 is the starting point (regardless of who owned what before the relationship began), and I will have to negotiate or go to court, which everyone sensibly advises against. If I do end up in court, not only will the lawyers on both sides end up with the bulk of the assets, but the judge or magistrate will look unkindly at me for not coming to a settlement before appearing before them in court. Any woman (or man for that matter) who moves in with someone, soon owns half of their partner's assets (according to family law) and if there is a disparity in wealth between the two parties, then that opens the door for a type of scam that no one (except the wealthier person) wants to talk about. Prenuptial agreements are not worth the paper they are written on, and neither are parenting orders when it comes down to it. My point is that no matter where in the world you live, you need to be vigilant when it comes to protecting your assets from scammers. I mean...it isn't rocket science. There are different levels of trust, and if you give too much trust to someone too quickly, as opposed to the trust that comes after being together for many years, then you are simply asking for trouble. Common sense is the best defence against scammers. They use simple tactics because, in my opinion, they are usually pretty simple thinkers. Greed is their tool of choice...and I'm not talking about theirs, I'm referring to our own. If it's too good to be true, invest heavily and watch your hard-earned (and your time and heart, which is so much more valuable than money IMHO) disappear right before your eyes. Here in Thailand, many of the girls who take advantage of Farangs do so because they are allowed to. Love cannot be bought, but unfortunately, many of the men who come here looking for love believe (or hope) that if they spend money on their much younger, pretty new girlfriend, she is more likely to stay. And that's true, they will stay, at least until the money runs out or they tire of us and move on. These girls know there are plenty of Farangs coming to their country looking for love. We are, to some, like buses...if they miss one, there's always another just around the corner. Nada gets hit on by Farangs almost every day. She laughs about it, but I see the dark side of what's going on all over Thailand. We come here thinking that because we have wealth, we can act however we want towards these women, so of course, they look at us with a degree of scepticism and disdain. But, the majority of Thai women are not looking to scam us, they are seeking a partner who can take care of them financially...and in exchange, they are willing to take care of us in ways we have rarely experienced in our former lives. When an older Western man comes to Thailand and meets someone much younger than he is, can we even call it a scam if she takes advantage of him? If a man willingly spends money on a woman with the expectation that she will respond with love, then I ask the question...who is running the scam? If I buy a girl a gift that costs me X amount, does that mean she owes me the same amount in love? Does she owe me anything at all? In my life, I have learned not to loan money to people unless I am willing to lose not just the money, but the friendship. I would rather just give it to them and say, "Repay me if you want, but if you don't, don't ask me for money again." Lend only what you can afford to lose. I haven't given Nada my ATM PIN or the password to my bank account...and I never will. If I buy her something, it's because I want to, not because I expect something (other than respect) in return. The bulk of my wealth is tied up in a term deposit account, and it will remain like that indefinitely. Better to be safe than sorry. I know not to underestimate what can happen when giving my heart to someone, and so, to avoid any future possible 'failings' on my part, better I ensure my financial future rather than take the chance. |
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