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Ramblings about the world and myself |
I have never really been able to write every day. I probably won't be able to do it now. I would like to write on a more regular basis. This blog is an attempt to develop a more regular writing habit. I can't guarantee an entry every day.
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I haven't been very active in WDC for a good while. The last year has been rough. The new year started off with a major bummer. This entry will start off as a major downer, but I believe that I reached a positive breakthrough tonight. I have to tell about the downer first. As most of y'all know, I lost my wife Lesia in March. I have not been a very happy hippie since. On January 2nd, my friend Greg came by the house to tell me that his brother Richard (and my brother. We felt like brothers since elementary school) had passed away on New Year's Day from Covid. This hurt badly. I just lost one of my best friends. I'm not over that yet, and won't be for a good while. There is more to the story. My grief was doubled. I guess it is time to write about Lesia and our long story. I lost one of my best friends, and on top of that it brought back a lot of grief about Lesia. Richard is the one who introduced me to Lesia way back in the early '80s. We dated for a couple of years. We were in love then. Her mother got ahold of a letter I wrote to Lesia. I said some things that shouldn't ever be put on paper. She freaked out and forced us to break up. Her mother was not a very good person. I may write about her someday. For now it will suffice to say that she was emotionally abusive to Lesia. In 1995 I was living in a dormitory at East Tennessee State University. I got a letter from Lesia. It got forwarded from my address in Roan Mountain TN. She told me that she had been married and divorced from an abusive bastard (my words, not hers). She told me that she had never stopped loving me. She married the asshole on the rebound. She included her phone number. I called her, and before I knew what was happening, we were back together. It was truly meant to be. I hate to think about all those years that we missed being together. Lesia and the lowlife had two sons, who eventually became my sons, Adam and Justin. I raised them. He had nothing to do with them. We were married in 1997. Our marriage wasn't perfect. None are. However, Lesia and I were perfect for each other. She said she never stopped loving me. When we reconnected, I realized that I never stopped loving her either. She said that for her it was love at first sight. It was, in a way, love at first sight for me too. I just didn't have the sense to know it. Now for my positive breakthrough tonight. I was, and still am, a big fan of the band Heart. When Richard introduced us, the first thing I noticed was how much Lesia looked like Ann Wilson. That made for an instant attraction. I had seen Heart live. It was almost like I was holding Ann in my arms. Of course, I knew that wasn't true, but damn, it was sexy. I wanted to listen to some music on YouTube tonight. I pulled it up on my smart TV. By chance I saw a Heart video of the song Crazy On You that I hadn't seen before. It was from 2013. Ann was a bit older and looked like Lesia did just before her health began to deteriorate. I watched it again. There were images of the band at the back of the stage from the time I met Lesia. Ann's face brought back memories of Lesia's sweet face back then. I watched it over and over. For the first time since I lost Lesia, I was able to have happy memories without feeling sad. I actually feel happy thinking about her tonight. Thank you, Ann! Please watch the video of Crazy On You, and pay attention to Ann's face as she is singing, and the images of her behind the stage when she was younger. That might give you an idea of the kind of woman that I was so fortunate to have in my Life. I am including a video of Magic Man. It seems to be that I was Lesia's Magic Man. She fought her mother to be with me and won. |
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