%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Musings on anything. |
 My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| Next week I will be in the hospital for 3-5 days, depending. . . I am having a heart procedure, not open heart surgery; I already did that almost 30 years ago. Yes, I'm scared. There are risks if I don't, risks if I do. I'm counting on the potential benefit. I'm not afraid of dying. I am at peace with my maker and trust Him/Her. I am afraid of suffering. I am afraid of being homeless someday because this is expensive and requires my IRA to pay for it. I won't be commenting on WDC or feeding the feral cat in my back yard. I will be on restricted activity for a month following, provided I make it. I may end up with a pacemaker, which is probably the simplest part of this deal. |
| You can call them reruns. I prefer to think of them as vintage shows. It sounds a little classier. It's my hobby, since I don't care for most new shows with the exception of Ghosts. Have you ever noticed the similarities between shows? Certain themes or camera tricks are used over and over. In fact, sets are familiar from one show to another. I like to watch the older shows the most. I've started watching Zorro which is by Disney and. therefore, aimed at kids. It gives a little California history which is not taught in my part of the country. I have noticed Sargent Garcia is a lot like Sargent Schultz of Hogan's Heroes. They both are round, like to eat and drink, and offer good-natured comic relief. The good guys depend on them. The commandants in Zorro are all evil and not funny as is Colonel Klink. There are definitely the ruling class and the oppressed. I like Zorro better, maybe because I know too much about Bob Crane's personal life leading to his death. Hogan's Heroes exploits women, while Zorro puts them on a pedestal. Guy Williams who played Zorro was known as an excellent swordsman and horseman in real life. After his second successful TV show, Lost in Space, he retired and moved with this family to Argentina. He said he had all the success he needed to live a happy life. I also like the early westerns. Many of them were like little morality plays. I also enjoy seeing well known actors in their early days before becoming household names. When it comes to movies, the older the better. And the Indian wars! Such great athletes and stuntmen. Jay Silverheels was in great shape his whole life. Tonto in the Lone Ranger didn't allow Jay to show off his skills in stunts or acting, but it made him famous. So my excuse for watching Tales of Wells Fargo, or High Chaparral, or Death Valley Days, is that I'm studying the stories, the themes, history, and the actors. |
| I am going to go through with the heart procedure. It will be four, possibly 5 days in hospital. One week of no driving. Four weeks of limited activity. No exercising, jogging, climbing steps unnecessarily, no carrying groceries, no lifting anything heavy, including wet laundry. I am encourage to walk each day, making small increments in time or distance, slowly and gently. So I am already planning my advance shopping-gallons of distilled water, for instance. I will have the on the upper floor of my split level home, instead of the garage, the in-between level. I have people to call and to check in with me after the deed is done. I have already marked the calendar in my choir room, so they know when I will not be at practice or in Sunday service. I will be absent from WDC as well for the hospital stay. When I can't clean house or run errands, maybe I'll write more. |
| I'm surviving the snow and ice by avoiding it, and moving extremely cautiously when I have to brave it. I park the car in the sunshine, so the temps can melt the icy drive in these mid 30 temps. Of course, it refreezes at night, when it gets down to 12 degrees. My neighbor's water line froze. At least I haven't had that. This is the laziest January I've ever had. I have to make a decision about a medical procedure. The doctor promises, that while it may not extend my life, it will improve the quality of my life. I will have more energy and feel better. But there are a lot of risks. I could end up with a pace maker or go on dialysis. The lowest risk is heart attack or stroke. Those would most likely happen in the first 30 days if at all. they would know about the dialysis in the first six months. Internal bleeding would happen while still in the hospital and could be easily handled according to the doctor. I didn't realize until now that I don't have anyone to actually think this out with me. Family members make snap judgments and don't really get into the details and the risks. My neighbor who is a doctor says I should do it at the Mayo Clinic, which brings with it travel problems and would cost for lodging and transportation and return trips. My church friends immediately think everything will be okay, and start planning who will bring me food when I get home. There is no rush. It is not an emergency situation. I am heavily medicated. The doctor says if I am content living the way I am I don't have to do it. I'm not getting any younger. I'm going to die eventually, so the risks may already exist. Do I want to rush them? I'd like to think it would be nice to have more energy, to not tire so quickly, to move about without fear of overdoing it. A new lease on life would be more mental than physical. I'm leaning towards doing the procedure (through a vein while I'm out cold), and living with the things that might go wrong. A quick death is the least likely of the risks, so if that happens, I won't have any worries. Someone else will have to declutter the garage and attic and handle the bills until it's all done. Other people live with a pacemaker or go to dialysis. I can, too, but only if there's no choice. |
| Okay not every day is exciting and rewarding. But most of our lives are full of adventure. Going off to college, especially in a new town, is an adventure. A new job can be an adventure, maybe a bad one. Getting married, getting divorced. Having children. Becoming an empty nester or becoming the caretaker of an aging parent, particularly if any type of dementia is involved. Retiring can be an adventure. We can have medical adventures, although we don't usually choose those. It all depends on how you look at things. I was in a group when we discussed that very thing. It started with all of us reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Like it or not, we've had adventures. Some actually went to foreign countries. One person had been homeless for a while, and is still in temporary housing. I thought of being a live-in houseparent at a children's home for kids from broken homes. Talk about adventures! Then there are childhood adventures, like we explored unknown terrain. Or maybe we got lost in the woods and grown-ups had to search for us. Or we built a fort out of scrap material on the river bank. My brother recalls an adventure that thrilled him at the time (half a century ago). He had gotten hurt sledding downhill into a layer of ice. We took him to the doctor's office. The doctor went out the back door with him, got in a jeep with the top down and sped off to the hospital to put stitches in his lip, with snow and ice and cold wind all around them. They came back to the office. My mother never knew they had left. The fright and pain he had felt was erased by the thrill ride with his buddy doctor. Some adventures lead us to do volunteer work for the joy of it. Life may not turn out the way you would have scripted it, but boring? Hardly ever. |
| I was young before every kid was enrolled on a sports team. Sundays were for friends and family. Church on Sunday morning, of course, and all my school chums went to some kind of church, of many denominations. My town had a church district. The Baptists, the Methodists, the Christian church, Episcopalians and Catholics were all in the same area. The Jewish synagogue, quiet on Sunday, was one block more away, Greek Orthodox was downhill and over a block or so. Sundays at my house were big meal days. Fried chicken or chicken and dumplings one week, and roast beef and veggies the next week. We'd have a meal about 2, since Mom had to have time for cooking. We didn't have supper with such a big midday meal. There might be a snack. I was shocked to find out that other families weren't like that; my friend had canned soup for Sunday lunch. On summer days when the whole family went fishing or went to the mountains for sightseeing, the chicken was made in advance. Even iced tea was packed in leak proof jars. I never took to fishing, couldn't stand to hold a worm. But that's what we did and I tolerated it and liked being outside, especially, if my mother's parents went with us. My brothers did little League and school sports, but never had Sunday games or practices. The exception to our Sunday routine was for visiting relatives. My dad was close to his aunts and uncles. They mostly lived in the country, so we got some country or farm visits on those days. We saw turkeys and pigs and sometimes ate homegrown foods. When the weather permitted, we'd all sit on the porch and the men would tell tall tales and keep everyone laughing. I always enjoyed the ride home from church. It was brief, but my father would sing whatever hymn we sang that Sunday or that was stuck in his head. It was comforting to hear his deep voice singing familiar words. Sunday nights had last minute homework, packing lunches, and Ed Sullivan. Life was comfortable and safe. |
| This afternoon, while I was blowing leaves off my patio and front entrance, I saw snow flurries. I kept blowing in the cold wind. By the time I got to the front, the patio was dotted with rain drops, and the white stuff had stopped. Then I noticed the sun was shining in the west. We can get it all in one day. I didn't stay out long. I have constant sinus trouble and it was windy. My leaf blower is battery operated, which meant the battery was going to die soon anyway. I tried to wind up my garden hose, but it was too stiff in the cold. I undid the knots and looped what I could on the hanger. When I went in, I looked out the patio doors (opposite my front door) to see the wind scurrying dead leaves across my clean patio. Oh, well. Good for now. |
| Just reporting back. The woman I know who has spent the last month sleeping in her car minus a few days in the hospital. She finally checked into the Salvation /army when a bottom bunk was available. The Army has very strict rules and practice "tough love", which we knew about at church, but didn't feel we had the right to direct her life. Normally, they allow someone to stay three weeks, but will allow an extension if the person is cooperating with the program. She can't work, so there is no job in line, but they do have a place for her which will require over 90% of her income. Of course, she qualifies for food stamps and clothing at other sources. She has Medicare. In the meantime, she has a comfortable place to sleep, she is safe, she gets three meals a a day which she claims is "not bad". And she is warm all day. I predict that in a few weeks, she will even look healthier and rested. One item that surprised me, but I am glad for it. They take all the person's money and direct their spending. They get budget counseling. Her soon to be ex-husband is also sheltered there. They've put him to work already. He is quite intelligent but never grew up. He's been sponging off his wife. So now that will be one less burden to her. He will be on his own program and get his own place. If you know someone who is down and out, urge them to go to the local Salvation Army. And make a generous donation. |
| There are so many traditions of various origins. I don't really follow any these days (years). When I was young, we had a neighbor who said it was bad luck for a woman to visit your home on New Year's Day. It made me wonder why she brought us back luck by coming into our house. My mother claimed that you had to take down the Christmas decorations on New Year's Day or you would have sickness in the household. Now I know people who don't take them down until Epiphany which is January 6 (observed the second Sunday after Christmas in church). I have known two women who had spectacular trees that stayed up all year long! Everything else came down, but not the trees. Some people can't wait to take them down, maybe as early as the day after. All my relatives had oyster stew for Christmas breakfast. For the first day, it was black eyed peas, cornbread, stewed tomatoes, and cornbread and any kind of meat (leftovers?). Today the younger ones prefer pizza or gyros. I stick with beans and tomatoes. It's a vegetarian day for me. I take down the decorations after the first, a little at a time, because I'm lazy and because I didn't get to enjoy them enough while they were up. When I was much younger and generally feeling better, I would sing every Christmas song I knew. I don't sing that much any more, and I didn't get saturated with seasonal songs this year. I never once heard the hippopotamus song or Alvin sing he wants a hula hoop. Traditions don't mean as much without a family. So I can go with the flow or not. I don reminisce quite a bit early on about my parents and brothers, even my late ex-husband. But we can't live in the past. And we don't need to make new traditions. Just live in the moment. |
| If we believe Dr. Seuss, Christmas is not about wrappings or food, but can't be stopped from coming around. And if you believe Ebeneezer Scrooge was truly redeemed, then you know a worthy goal is to live every day all year long like Christmas Day. To do that without buying presents or too many groceries, we could try remembering the four candles of advent: hope, peace, joy, and love. And not just at church or in religious contexts, but in every aspect of our lives. The Christian has hope for a better tomorrow, so she does not give into despair for long. Joy is something we can share with others or all alone in our manner and on our faces. Peace is not just something to talk about or pray for. We are to be peacemakers, at home, at work, at play, at church, on the highway. (And it's hard sometimes to feel peace, much less be an instrument of peace, when driving in traffic.) And then there is love. The birth of Jesus, the man, is a story of God who set aside his divinity to become a frail human like us. He came at Christmas to show us God loves us, to show us how to love each other and others who don't believe, and how to love God. If we think about Christlike love, then justice and mercy follow. So this year, we can be vigilant and ask ourselves each day, "Am I observing Christmas in my heart and actions today?" |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
These days I just have houseplants and one lonely portulaca that came up by seed and has bloomed this past week. I've been "home" for three months and the plants have responded well. But, I long for Thailand.