Native to the Americas, the turkey vulture (Cathartes aura) travels widely in search of sustenance. While usually foraging alone, it relies on other individuals of its species for companionship and mutual protection. Sometimes misunderstood, sometimes feared, sometimes shunned, it nevertheless performs an important role in the ecosystem.
This scavenger bird is a marvel of efficiency. Rather than expend energy flapping its wings, it instead locates uplifting columns of air, and spirals within them in order to glide to greater heights. This behavior has been mistaken for opportunism, interpreted as if it is circling doomed terrestrial animals destined to be its next meal. In truth, the vulture takes advantage of these thermals to gain the altitude needed glide longer distances, flying not out of necessity, but for the joy of it.
It also avoids the exertion necessary to capture live prey, preferring instead to feast upon that which is already dead. In this behavior, it resembles many humans.
It is not what most of us would consider to be a pretty bird. While its habits are often off-putting, or even disgusting, to members of more fastidious species, the turkey vulture helps to keep the environment from being clogged with detritus. Hence its Latin binomial, which translates to English as "golden purifier."
I rarely know where the winds will take me next, or what I might find there. The journey is the destination.
Elisa the Bunny Stik, I can understand that feeling that it's immoral to say "no" to someone who seems to have a clear need of something that I appear to have a lot of.
Just like we have to learn to share when we're kids, we have to learn to protect ourselves when we become adults. It's not an easy thing to learn, for sure. It took me years, but the feeling of being robbed by people who abused my goodwill was a great way to start saying "no" to some demands.
Just recently, I was faced with the request to let one of my sons's friends move into our home. Although this friend is living the van life, I said we can't take them in. Trust me, this did not come easy to me. I agonized about my decision for weeks and had to push away feelings of guilt. But the reality is that adding a new person to an already large household isn't something to be decided lightly. I told my son if his friend is ever in an unsafe situation, they are welcome to crash here for as long as it takes. This friend chose van life a year ago, well before they knew my son.
My philosophy for "lending" has become that I will only let people borrow things or money from me if I am willing to gift it. That way, if they pay me back, everybody wins. If I don't get paid back, then no harm no foul either. With that attitude, I've found it easier to say "no" because I know what kind of gifts I can give or not afford.
Often, close friends or family members may be aware of the things you're spending money on, like clothes or vacations, and make judgements about what you can or can't afford.
It's always easier to spend other people's money. Like you wrote, Robert Waltz, just because I was able to buy something nice for myself doesn't mean I can afford to buy the same nice things for everyone around me.
I've been on both sides too, it's not fun to be on either side. As you said in your post, you enable someone by loaning them money. Fortunately, the two children of mine who have borrowed money know I'm' retiring (essenially am retired now), and that the 'money train' has derailed. In place of money, I've given away more Hilton Honors points in the way of nights in a hotel that I care to think about. That was something I really enjoyed doing though, I never wanted those points returned. I'd have close to 2 million of those if I hadn't done that. But, I actually liked doing that for those I love. I didn't want my children (and very few close friends) staying at a Motel 6 type of place. Been there, done that far too many times in my past.
Elisa the Bunny Stik- fair points, in which case the article does give more helpful advice.
I've been on both sides of the "gimme money" divide, and I do know how hard it can be sometimes to ask for help. In which case getting hit with a "no" can really sting.
I don't care how emotionally hard it is. "No" is a very short, simple, one-syllable word in most languages, including English. It's not hard to pronounce.
To kick up a gigantic hornet's nest, I'm going to say this. Anyone with a position like this has never been conditioned to be a people pleaser. This is especially true of women. Phrasing like what's shown here displays a lack of empathy that will turn of people pleasers and those trying to break that conditioning. This advice alone will not help people pleasers in any situation as high stakes as this. Often the people asking will work to wear down the person being asked until the latter gives in. This tactic actually comes up a lot when people talk about how they get roped into MLMs. Other tactics may need to be employed, such as a person bringing along backup to tell the the other person no. I recognize this notion will not register for people without conditioning to be people pleasers. The older I get, the more I realize this is a shoddy excuse for not at least trying to see other perspectives and how they're formed. Such a hardass mentality can result in a "break not bend" mentality, something that I think is coming back to bite us all right about now.
With all that said, there is another thing to consider. How effective was the "Just Say No" campaign effective in the war on drugs? I think that's also food for thought in this discussion.
Could be whoever conquered them or the next dude in charge hated the beliefs from before and that's why it was buried. History is full of the next guy either trashing or taking credit for whatever the previous guy did. See most of Egyptian history.
What I find fascinating is that with advanced technology and LIDAR we're finding more cities previously lost to time and having to re-evaluate our dates for "discovered this/that/etc" especially when it comes to arrival dates for North America.
Either way- finds like these are interesting, but yeah- I think there's a lot of bias when they make particular claims as to what the purpose of items were.
I always wonder how scientists determine what things mean from thousands of years ago..when there's no one living to tell them. I know they have tests they do..but how do you know there right?
I've felt the same way about colors for a long, long time, I too have wondered if the color I see (maybe Orange?) is the same as the one you see. I know colors are verious wavelengths, but still. You'd think we'd all see the same color, but maybe not. How about something else though? You show me a cube and say it's a cube. I know it's a cube because I've been taught that a cube looks like that. But, is the thing I call a cube the same thing you see? Maybe you see what I'd call a globe, but you've been taught that it is a cube. You know what I mean. Do we all see the same shape.... I'm guessing we do, as well as see the same colors, but it's still an interesting thought.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.15 seconds at 6:17pm on Apr 27, 2025 via server WEBX1.