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1,548 Public Reviews Given
1,793 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Wherever I Go  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel 🌼 Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What an awesome adventure! I really liked how you connected all the characters with one another and Lettie from the past. The cave descriptions were fantastic.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Ouija feels cliche, perhaps wishing on another object related to the Z'algath.
*Bullet* The winks felt off, the twitch of a frown or flare of nostrils. Z'algath seems too serious to wink.

Overall, great story, glad they all escaped!

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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27
27
Review of Unbeknownst To Us  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello PrincessThai Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What a great scene! It was definitely out of this world type stuff. I can see these three characters/friends exploring this world.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* "Bates and Gus at the same time" ~ shouldn't Bates and Greg say this?
*Bullet* This needed an ending to be a complete story, but it's an awesome beginning.

Overall, so far so good, keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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28
28
Review of Solomon's garden  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

An interesting take on the prompt. While the beginning felt informational, some of it was relevant to the ending. Apparently Solomon not only managed to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines, but had time to command angels and create a garden like Eden. While reading, one knew somehow that would go badly for him.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Why toss Higson back?
*Bullet* I liked how Rachel delivered the historical narrative.

Overall, a fascinating read. Well done.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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29
29
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello PureSciFiPlus Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

Great story! This felt like the beginning chapter of a great adventure. We still didn't get an answer, and I was hoping the giants would come alive.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"I know how most people think of me" ~ Suggest: I know what most people think of me
*Bullet*"illustration that I got left at my museum a few weeks ago" ~ Suggest: illustration that was left at my museum a few weeks ago
*Bullet*"Archeology Helper" ~ Are these guides or from the kid's club?
*Bullet* I felt the timeline of the story wasn't really clear as far as Sarah was concerned. Was this a flashback of when she was at the site with her parents or a future visit after she was found?

Overall, a base for a fun story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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30
30
Review of Straggler  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden Author Icon

This makes me think of that last leaf! The one that clings all winter and you admire it for its tenacity.
The somber tone of mortality in this makes one reflect. Should we ever let go?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*One line gave me pause: "So thin am I become," ~ Perhaps - I have?

Overall, I felt this deeply, thank you for posting.

Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #1566277 Unavailable **


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31
31
Review of The Final Journal  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed the imagery in your story and was happy the eighty seven year old grandfather was found alive. What are the chances? Nice work weaving your story in the lush building surrounded by rough terrain.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

You followed the prompt and your timeline carried the story well. Nice work with your dialog.

Overall, a good story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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32
32
Review of The Verdant  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello WriterRick Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What beautiful descriptions are in this story and your character, Elara is a very determined person. You followed the picture prompt.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Your story was pasted twice in the item.
*Bullet*Some dialog with the others that passed through the portal would have been intriguing.

Overall, your story seemed like just the beginning of a wonderful place for talented peoples.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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33
33
Review of The lost city  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked the world you described and you did well describing the sorrow Aria and Kai felt. GCS felt probable and helped the placement of the story. I would certainly like my brain to be a bit reinforced, lol.

The prompt was followed.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* How did the plants live if it was "sand and dust" and the air was unsustainable to life?

Overall, an enjoyable story to read.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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34
34
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Anna Marie Carlson Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
This was a very interesting story. Making the desk anthropomorphic was a fun twist to the prompt. You gave the characters very interesting names.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Melody was more than py to arrange a meeting - "happy"
*Bullet*I would have liked to see more dialog - maybe after the word count limit for the contest.

Overall, an interesting read.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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35
35
Review of Let It Grow  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel 🌼 Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

This was a lovely story that followed the prompt well and I very much enjoyed the descriptions and dialog. You did a good job with the characters and emotions shown in the story. I believe Fiona and Joseph will be together after the story ends. What a sweet and noble gesture!

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a great read and entry.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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36
36
Review of The Library  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello John Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked this story for a lot of reasons. You did a nice job of clarifying what your merfolk were like and its hierarchy. Your dialog was enjoyable and carried the story well. You included the prompt in an interesting way. The whale helpers were an awesome idea.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a fascinating story I'd like to read more.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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37
37
Review of Sophia's Library  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, you did a good job of incorporating the prompt picture and weaving your story around it. Sophia and John were well rounded characters and I loved how the books had a new purpose.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Where did the slaves come from?
*Bullet*I'm not sure the quick jump to passion was necessary.

Overall, I liked the new rebuilt world and story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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38
38
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Joseph Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked your story, it was very adventurous. The prompt was included and had some good descriptions. While you ran out of word count, I'd like to see some dialog in the story when the contest is over. Only the bird spoke?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"their 3rd day they awoke" ~ third
*Bullet*Work on more show than tell.

Overall, a great start to your adventure. Watch out for those Wolf-creatures!
Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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39
39
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
The Deathbringers is a cool idea. I enjoyed your images of them and how they destroy others. You showed the prompt in your story and I liked the squeamy way people were liquified.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Is Jeehon a place or a people?
*Bullet*"still stiff frozen body" ~ stiff/frozen is redundant
*Bullet*"Reading Material" ~ no caps
*Bullet*"her latest victim" ~ Surranon is male, yes? Gender seems interchanged in the story.
*Bullet*"“I agree that Young Ones shouldn’t be victims, but I don’t about them know about us and what we do." ~ Confusing sentence
*Bullet*Was the point of the story - the conflict of whether to leave?

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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40
40
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kotaro Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, the story Watanabe told, and the scene in the bar. You did a good job integrating the image prompt within. Too bad the pizza burned! There were a lot of wonderful nuggets in this story, like the part where the girl poured the fountain water in the hole. Very interesting.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*played-back ~ no hyphen
*Bullet*What was the girl's name?

Overall, a likeable story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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41
41
Review of The Sanctuary  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Friendly Neighborhood Derg Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

This felt like a summary of something more to write. You described the prompt image and suggested an idea but I wished to see something more fleshed out in a short story. You have the scene, now you just need characters and something happening.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Write a story about what you see there.

Overall, it's a start.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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42
42
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
This was an enjoyable adventure and I could relate to Aurelius not wanting to give up the library. Your characters were well formed and I liked how you sent three on the adventure instead of Aurelius alone. You described the prompt well, almost too well. Your description was very lush but felt like it slowed the story a little. I would rather have seen more dialog.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"ambitions were leading them to.


Overall, a great story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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43
43
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Graham B. Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
I enjoyed this story. From the beginning of Gerhard's adventure to his return, the surroundings and characters were very interesting. One of my favorites - "the feathers in his hat waving like a grotesque hand" The image gave me a chuckle. I liked how the library spoke so wisely.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*I felt like you brushed over Gerhard's decision to leave the library unfound to others. Perhaps due to word count.

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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44
44
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This looks like it will be a very handy tool, especially for busy people who rarely have time to respond to reviews.
I can see this being a useful setting if the item to be reviewed is being checked by a large group. Or if it is an item which doesn't need edit, like a photo, but the portfolio owner still wants to show gratitude for the portfolio visit.

Cool stuff! I know I have a few things I will use the Review Response on.
Leger~
** Image ID #1566277 Unavailable **
45
45
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello John Andrew Jenkins Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
You had all the prompts bolded but unfortunately, you did not have 'holiday' as a genre choice so the work does not qualify.
This was a fun poem. Some of the lines didn't make sense to me but I thought they might be bits of lyrics.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* "Sultan of Swing" and "Soldier of Fortune
With a lion's mane" ~ was this meant to show the reader an image?

Overall:
I liked the feelings this brought to mind.
Writer's Cramp!


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46
46
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello John Andrew Jenkins Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
All your prompt words were bolded but unfortunately you didn't choose the holiday genre, so the work is disqualified.

Stories that start with conflict are always interesting. Jellinen was a fun character, "booger butt".

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* What happened with the mower? Perhaps focus on that before moving on to the picnic scene.
*Bullet* In the cemetery - "He didn’t know what happened to his grandfather after he died" ~ wouldn't that be "before" he died?
*Bullet* Your story timeline only appears to be one day. How would the boy "stink" and get so exhausted as to lay down in a grave? Those parents must have phoned a lot of people quickly.

Overall:
Some interesting ideas, perhaps expand the story when not limited to the word count.
Writer's Cramp!


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47
47
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello JCosmos Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
All the prompts are present, and holiday genre chosen so your entry is valid.
I liked what you described, while the whole work felt a little distant, telling the reader what is going on.
Arlington cemetery is a good image to pull into your writing.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* Next time, try to pull your reader in so they can relate.
*Bullet* Was that a typo in the title?

Overall:
Great effort!
Writer's Cramp!


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48
48
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello OnlyMagicInkGlows Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
This was amusing! It felt like a lot of family picnics, where you don't really want to go sit in the heat, but you end up having a wonderful time. Doesn't everyone have an Uncle Peter?

All the prompts were present so your entry was valid.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* your uncle Charles is going to barbecue ~ "Uncle"

Overall:
A charming summer scenario *Smile*

Congratulations on your win today!

Writer's Cramp!


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49
49
Review of Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Carol Author Icon

I loved the feeling of this poem. How we observe the moon and how it must feel. The poem leaves a lot of questions in my mind. What does she want to be or do? How does she want to be seen? It feels cool and distant.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*It feels like the first line should have a period or the second line just capitalized for conformity.
*Bullet*"misunderstood and mistaken" ~ Comma after misunderstood.

Overall, a sort of sad poem, but still lovely.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #1566277 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
50
50
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello JCosmos Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:

Your story had some awesome concepts. It felt like what scrolls down the screen before an epic movie. I can see lots of story ideas spawning from this. Especially the prison concept.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*This was more tell than show, develop more characters, and flesh out a plot line.


Overall:
You followed the prompt and post instructions. Well done.

Writer's Cramp!


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/legerdemain/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2