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 My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| January 6 is the day we honor the Epiphany, or the arrival of the Wise Men. We actually do not know when they arrived, or how many there were, but this day is set aside to remember them. We do know they were not there on the night baby Jesus came into the world, they were not surrounded by angels or shepherds, and that they probably found him in Egypt before he was two years old. Traditionally, we put them all there at the same time and position the figures together in our nativity scenes for convenience. Legends, apart from the Bible story, say there were four men; some say twelve. We usually picture and sing of three because three gifts were mentioned. Some historians think they may have come from Iraq or Iran. Some stories give them names. In one version, one of them may have been of African descent. All the stories agree that they were wealthy and well-educated and spent their lives studying mysteries and science. We can conclude that they saw something that astounded them. They believed in the phenomenon so much that they left their families and homeland to travel for a very long time. They were determined; nothing would stop them. They traveled at their own expense with no support or backing from any source. They knew when they had arrived at their desired destination and that their mission was complete. They took pleasure and were satisfied with their mission. They adapted and went home by a different route. They deliberately chose not to cooperate with a foreign government, King Herod, but reasoned out the appropriate action for themselves. The church calendar has advent for about five weeks before Christmas. The celebration of Christmas actually begins Christmas Day and goes on for twelve days--without the drummers, pipers, swans, etc. It ends with Epiphany. The Wise Men have a few things to teach us. If we have a goal or a calling, we should devote ourselves to it and go full steam ahead. We may not have the luxury of servants to help, or money to spend on travel, but to the best of our abilities and resources, we can pursue our dreams, follow our convictions. When we accomplish our goals, we don't go back to where we started. We will have changed and been enlightened. We don't go back to the same road. We act with discernment and discretion along the way. The holiday observances are over for another eleven months. But we can preserve the meaning and the lessons all year long. |
| I am living the good life! I saw the New Year in with James Arness and Dennis Weaver. These days Milburn Stone is more my speed. 1960's, 70's version, of course. Today I am cooking the traditional Southern black-eyed peas. I had to buy the canned peas, since there was a run on dried and frozen peas. The store only had 3 cans left, so I bought two. So my traditional meal will be easier than the usual slow cooking beans. I like their smoky flavor. It's supposed to be good luck to cook black eyed peas today. The rest of the menu I got from my mother, but that doesn't involve luck. We'll have cornbread, stewed tomatoes, and greens. You can add any kind of meat or go vegetarian. Some groups believe you have to have hog's head or boar's head or hog jowls, but I don't go there. It's an old English custom to serve boar's head and have a feast before forks. In other words, you only use your fingers, but it is a huge meal. Sharp knives are okay. So you don't want mashed potatoes. Some black neighborhoods like the hog's head with their peas and cornbread. I worked in a grocery store that sold the hog's head, only after Christmas. The customer base was evenly black and white. Some of the cashiers couldn't handle the animal head; it was like a horror movie. I can do almost anything, so I would ring it up and bag it so that she wouldn't see it, then go back to where I was working. We sold a lot of them. The customers couldn't understand employees who couldn't handle it. This was a treat and time honored tradition for them. There are other superstitions I have heard about New Year's Day, things you should and shouldn't do. I am not superstitious, but I am a creature of habit and tradition. Another superstition (I don't believe in) is that whatever you do New Year's Day is indicative of how you'll spend your year. I really can't tell you what I was doing last year, so I don't know if it works. But I usually try to make sure I do something fun. I'm not visiting anyone today, and I'm not expecting company, which is unusual. It looks like it will be a quiet day. To be on the safe side, I'm not just cooking and cleaning all day, but doing a jigsaw puzzle, reading, texting friends, surfing the Web, and writing. Gotta squeeze some exercise in. Not that I'm superstitious, just cautious. |
| Many people are off from work today. Some things never close, like hospitals, transportation, retail, food industry, hotels, entertainment, nursing homes. Well, okay, maybe half the working people are off today: trash collection, schools, office workers, church employees, construction, most doctors offices. If New Year's Eve fell on a later day in the week, they might be open, but one productive day in between a weekend and a holiday will not be very productive. Of course, the unemployed and the retired are unaffected by it. But, for school kids, its the dwindling of their vacation as they dread the return to school. As the old year ends, we evaluate what happened in 2018. How did we handle it? Did we make any headway emotionally, financially, career wise, spiritually, or in our relationships? Did we gain weight or lose weight? (Isn't that on everyone's mind in January?) Did our health get better or worse? How is our family? We can even get more global and look at our neighborhoods, our state, our world. How have the last 12 months affected us and our own immediate surroundings? For me a look back seems gloomy. My brother's cancer took a nose dive, Our hearts are heavy as we go through these holidays. Some friends and acquaintances died. One good friend made a great comeback from last year's cancer, but another one is gravely ill with a new diagnosis. We have had so much rain that our downstairs flooded 4 times; it only seeped in twice in the previous ten years, without so much damage. So that's getting to be a bigger expensive problem. The air conditioner died and had to be replaced along with all the duct work, costing over $10,000. Dad destroyed the garbage disposal by putting drain cleaner in it (you can't tell a man he is doing something wrong), so that had to be removed and new pipe put in. A huge tree fell after one of the rains, smashing both our cars in the driveway. Actually, reviewing 2018 is making me feel bad. On the other hand, we had a new baby born into the family. I joined a gym. Despite gaining five pounds in the last six weeks, I have muscles in my arms and shoulders, and some in my legs, that had almost evaporated before. My endurance has improved. It's an uphill battle, but worth continuing. I participated in NaNoWriMo. I cleaned out some closets, making lots of donations, and putting a lot in the trash. That's an ongoing project, too, since it's hard to part with things you've collected over the decades or that belonged to a departed family member. My last day as church clerk is today, although I still have to make some changes in the October minutes to satisfy the county supervisors on some legal issues. I've been a co-teacher of some older ladies at church (one is younger than I, some are older than my father), and that has been very satisfying. The choir I sing in has gotten much smaller, but the voices blend nicely; we don't have any loud show-offs. It's been my first year as a retiree, and like many before me, I don't know how I used to get everything done and work a full-time job. I am tending to an elderly father who gets a little needier all the time. This has been a year of figuring out how to spend my time and adjust to changing pressures and demands. It's been a year of trying wrinkle creams and going to the hairdresser more often. I've cooked more, using fewer convenience foods. So I'm not going to look forward to 2019 until tomorrow. I'm just relishing today and where I've been. Hopefully, I've learned some helpful things and we didn't lose too much in the stock market. I don't want to repeat my mistakes, but I don't want to dwell on the past, only to learn from it. |
| Many people are depressed this time of year. It has one of the highest suicide rates all year. Some people have mistakenly thought it was due to loneliness or absence of family during the holidays. Some times that may be true. But studies have shown it has more to do with the lack of light. The days are shorter. After the winter solstice suicides go up, while the time of darkness increases. The lesson learned from this is that we all need more natural light. If you have an invalid or elderly person in your home, get them to a window or out of doors every day, weather permitting. Nursing homes and senior communities need large windows with open drapes or blinds. Don't let your teenager hang out in his room all day or in front of the TV. He needs outdoor light. You need light. When you carry the trash outside, stop and stretch and take a deep breath before you go back inside. Don't bury yourself in the sub-basement at the library doing research. Walk outside occasionally. If you work in an inner office, go to a window and look out every hour or two, or go outside with the smokers on your break. Do whatever you need to do to prevent getting into a funky mood. You might not be suicidal, but you might be prone to cabin fever or depression. Just get some light, sunlight if possible. Be aware of the people around you and the moods they are in. Apparently, our chemistry feeds on natural light. If they seem a little down, you don't even have to discuss it with them. Just find an excuse to get them outside or in front of a big window. Adjusting a sleep schedule to get the most out of the day time may help people who are stressed or taking medicines. The outdoors may help fight the side effects this time of year. So let the light in. |
| It is an old custom in my area to have oyster stew on Christmas morning. Oysters are considered expensive, so it was a splurge to have them for breakfast instead of dinner. Once I would occasionally run into people who had the same custom, but it is getting harder to find such people. I guess it's dying out. But for me and my brothers, it is an absolute must. I've become something of a snob about it. Since becoming an adult I have encountered people who have varying recipes. Ours is very simple. You cook the oysters with all the juice in butter until the edges shrivel up. You add salt and pepper and milk. Period. End of recipe. Never let the milk boil. Others will thicken it with a little flour or add onion to the butter and oysters or even a tiny bit of grated carrot. No, no, no. I guess ours is the poor man's version. We keep it simple. My mother's folks and my father's folks cooked it this way. They were city people and country people; their paths never crossed. Mom also knew about red eye gravy and coffee gravy--the hobo's version that wasted nothing, but was fast and easy to catch the early morning red eye train. We became oyster snobs, too. When I was kid, all the local oysters were from the Chesapeake Bay. That became polluted and the oysters were over harvested. So for the last decade, at least, there have been no Chesapeake or Potomac oysters due to the ban. The Bay is cleaner now and the oyster beds are growing back, but there are severe limits still. So we can get oysters from lower on the coast of the Atlantic, but those are rare. For the most part, we now use Gulf oysters, usually the Louisiana side rather than Texas. Occasionally, you can get San Francisco oysters, but they aren't the same quality. You only get those if you can't get any others. They are only packaged in San Francisco and may have come from elsewhere along the coast. So they have to be frozen to ship east. If you're going to fry oysters, you definitely want the larger, premium ones. Atlantic or Gulf oysters, if possible. I remember my grandfather, in his seventies by then, peppering his oyster stew until there was a black coating on top. My other grandfather always added more salt, but he could get away with that, since he had Addison's Disease which doesn't allow the body to hold salt. (He actually took a salt supplement every day of his life, like a swimmer.) We are not snobby about crackers. You can use saltines or oysterette crackers. as many or as few as you like. Grandpa with the pepper had to have the little oyster crackers. No one in my family butters their crackers, like my husband and a former boss did. We crumple saltines, like we used to crumble Oreo cookies in ice cream, before they started making ice cream with cookie crumbs already in it. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to us until we have at least a little bit of oyster stew. |
| Every year, we wait, we anticipate, we prepare. Then, Slam, Bang! It's over, There's nothing left but the crumbs on the floor, and some crayons under the furniture. Oh, and the big plastic bags of wadded up gift wrap and toy packaging. I'm wearing new slippers as I type this. It took about 5 minutes once the kids started opening packages. They opened things that weren't theirs. Then we had to figure out who had purchased it, and for whom it was intended. Surprisingly, the favored gifts were not newly purchased . My late brother collected Hot Wheels. He left thousands of them. There are lots of collectors around, but unfortunately, the cars have not built up any value yet. My dad has given out some loose ones and some still in original packaging, reducing our totals by quite a bit. Today, he gave the three year old, who loves little cars, a carrying case filled with Hot Wheels. He wanted to abandon everything else and play with them. They wanted to make sure he got home with these older cars, since I do have other playthings at my house. So he cried when they put them in the car before he lost them all. He then got some new cars of another brand to distract him. Dad had gone through the dresser drawers in his room and found a tin box of what he thought was Mom's jewelry. He gave it to me last Sunday as my "Christmas present". I determined that it was all broken or single earrings, and very retro. Two necklaces I would use, even retro, but they need new clasps. One short chain with a sea shell was in good shape. It didn't seem expensive, and could pass for a child's necklace. I gave it to the first grader. She liked it and put it in her pocket. But her mother went down memory lane. She recalled sitting on Grandma's bed and going through her jewelry box and picking out what she wanted someday. She and her sister reminisced about this time with Grandma when they were small with big smiles on their faces. I remember doing the same thing with my mother's mother, but I didn't take away from their moment. It was a pleasant memory for them. I was relieved when everyone left, and I could tidy up a little. I'll vacuum tomorrow. I sat down and napped for almost an hour. When I woke up it wasn't late, but too late to go to a movie. The day was over already. I feel free now. I can settle into a normal routine. At the same time I miss them. I worry about my sick brother who struggled to be here and had to change oxygen tanks. It's kind of disappointing that it's all done now or almost. We'll sing Christmas carols at church on Sunday. Advent ended Christmas Eve and the church calendar celebrates 12 days. Even for believers, it becomes more somber and personal at this point. Family and hoopla wind down. We know that we'll do it all again next year. |
| When my parents were children, they were very poor. My mother was worse off because her father had a disease and was out of work a lot. Dad's family had a garden, a cow and some chickens. They didn't go hungry, but Mom and her brothers did. My father's dad was tight with money and not expressive of feelings. One year for Christmas, he got a cap gun. He was embarrassed and hid it from the neighbor kids. Mom got a metal piggy bank from the bank one year. Another year, she got a broken toy from the Salvation Army. As young parents on a single income, they did everything possible to give my brothers and me a big, fun Christmas. We cooked with her. We decorated together. We got lots of presents, which they always celebrated with oohs and ahhs. We never knew until we went back to school in January that Santa brought other kids more things than he did to us. We had had fun; that's what counted. As adults we began to feel the stress of Mom trying to make Christmas perfect. We all wanted to please Mom with the best gifts, and helping her out since she didn't drive. In the past few years, I have realized that my parents childhood as well as our own affected all of us greatly. We never discussed it through the years, but each of us was scarred, you might say, by poverty, in varying ways. It affected our self-esteem, our desire to please others, particularly children. My late brother was generous to a fault. It's affected our self-esteem. The upside of it is that we love Christmas. We go out of our way to be together, to share the feast, and to please one another. Charity is important to us. We not only give gifts, but we strive to make memories with the little ones. The holidays always arouse a lot of memories. The beautiful Thanksgiving feasts with uncles and aunts no longer with us, the oyster stew on Christmas morning with extended family or work buddies of my dad's, the treks into the woods for a real tree with Dad's cousin. We remember the things we did, the visitors, the smiles on my mother's face, and all that laughter. My parents' hard work and sacrifice gave us this legacy of warm feelings and memories we still treasure. Each ornament, each figurine or garland tells us some story. This year we will gather with one brother in Heaven with Mom, no uncles or aunts, or in-laws. One brother may or may not be there, due to cancer treatments and how he may feel tomorrow. We'll have seven children under 10, one not even one year yet. Between Santa, friends, and family, the kids will have so many gifts, they'll be bored and won't remember half of them by Jan. 2. We'll have more food than they have room to taste. But we will be together, and we will say grace together. The adults will treasure the day, knowing we may not all make it back next year. We have to make this one special. Unlike my grandfather, we are strong enough to say 'I love you' We know why we celebrate this day, and we will do so as a family. |
| Okay, the best part of Christmas is making memories with friends and family. But a really close second is the Christmas cookie. It can't be store bought or from a bakery, no matter how expensive. It has to be home baked, which means pre-made dough that you bake yourself is acceptable. My favorite is fruitcake cookies. I've never made them myself, but I know several people who do, and they are my favorite people. This year I made two new recipes. The first is similar to Mexican wedding cookies. I used regular chocolate chips instead of the mini chips called for in the recipe, but that's okay. I did make the balls a little too big. They take longer to bake. They are low in sugar, but not in carbs. I used vegetable shortening, and they do not require eggs or milk, so there is no cholesterol. They are high in fat. Someone sampled one and reported it was good. The second new recipe was an accident. I was making tropical island cookies using white chips, coconut and walnuts. I realized as I was putting the last pan in the oven that the bag of chips was unopened on the counter. Without the white chocolate chips, these are not very sweet, but still pretty good. I also did some of that packaged dough in the dairy section, but I rolled them in red sugar just to give that Christmas look. Now I have some for gifts, some for guests, and a few to leave out for Santa. I might even leave Santa a glass of egg nog. (I'll sample one first.)   |
| Speaking for myself, I don't mind Xmas. In the early days of Christianity, they often left notes in code. X was the first letter of the Greek word for Christ. So it is a good substitution. X is used a lot in making Chrismons, religious ornaments. With that in mind, the X does not seem sacrilegious or offensive. Spell-check tells me that Chrismons is not a word. However, they are ornaments of symbols that have developed over the centuries. A tree of only Chrismons was displayed at a Lutheran church in Virginia in 1957, and since has caught on. I first learned of them back in the 70's when they were very simple or just carved out of wood, no color. Today they are usually done in gold and white. The main rule is that each ornament has to refer to Christ or God. They are almost always handmade, so it's a good local craft project. I love the lights, the wrappings, the decorations, the food the gifts. They don't take away from the true meaning of Christmas or diminish "Peace on Earth". They add to the excitement and thrill of the season. It's all a matter of attitude. With the right spirit in your heart, you can have a lot of fluff or minimal to-do. It's all still wonderful. If you find you're stressed, or your family seems self-centered, you're not doing it right. So take a night off from events and shopping. Prop up your feet and listen to some music and drink some hot cider. Or if you've had your fruit allotment for the day, drink hot spiced tea. What have you done for someone less fortunate? How have you brightened some body's season at work, at home, or in the community? Did you drop some change in the Salvation Army kettle when you left the grocery store? Have you told the people in your life you love them? Don't delay. And thank God for your blessings. You will feel better. |
Does anyone enjoy this? If I shop too early, then I see more things I like later, and people end up with too many presents from me. (Nobody ever does that for me.) Me dad bought his granddaughters an electric appliance each, and the next day it went on sale $10 less. He can't shop without me, so this becomes my duty, too. You stand in a long line and wait, then the cashier doesn't know how to do it. A manager has to be called who emphasizes that you won't get any rebates already mailed, and blah blah blah. The other customers start getting fidgety. Whatever happened to a service counter that handled adjustments and returns?  The other problem we discovered is that kids don't stay the same size very long. Dad bought pajamas for the two three year olds, with me carrying, etc. The one who turned three in August probably wears a size three, at least for this winter. The one that turned three in November wears a 4 or a 5. He's four inches taller than his cousin. He looks slim; he's just on a larger ratio. If you don't work with toddlers every day like a pediatrician or a day school teacher, you can't be a good judge of these things. The small three year old also has a sister who's almost ten, but she only wears an 8, despite being tall. I talk to the girls, who keep me informed, so we didn't make any errors there. I'm torn between taking the pj;s back now of leaving them wrapped and returning after Christmas. The tall toddler lost his daddy last year, so his mother has her hands full with three kids. I tried looking at books. I discovered I'm usually interested in books that women like. It's hard to judge a good book for a man. I've discovered in the past that some people just don't read. Unless you know someone well. you can't choose a fragrance or cosmetics. Never give a woman wrinkle cream unless she asks for it. I've also discovered that others are as picky about their clothing as I am. Their tastes and mine aren't the same. I did get a really nice purse last year. It can't turn out that well two years in a row. What I think is a great gift for another person usually bombs. There was a time when I was young and single (now I'm old and single again) when there was something kind of exciting about shopping close to Christmas or on Christmas Eve. That last minute hustle and bustle of shoppers on a mission, last minute bargains. It was fun just to be a part of it, even if I didn't NEED to be there. Those days are long gone. Even the grocery store was elbow to elbow and all the cashiers had long lines. Maybe we're less patient as we get older, or we're more easily annoyed. Maybe it's the decline in service offered by stores that can't compete with on-line shopping. The parking lots may be full, but I will say they aren't as bad as before the Internet. Nobody is cussing you out because they want your space. That's an improvement.  |
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