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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| It's late about half-past midnight and I just finished writing for a prompt in the Newsfeed, "Saturday Night Horror Prompt". Maybe writing something like this wasn't the best idea this late at night. The bit I wrote is good, perhaps the making of a good horror story someday. Even after I posted it, ideas began working in my brain on how to develop this item into a full short story. That's the problem, my brain never shuts down. I know it's going to keep working around while I fall asleep. The question now is, "Will the story unfold in all its gore and horror in a nightmare?" It wouldn't be the first time I've done this, worked on a horror story before going to bed, and then having the story become real within my dreams. In fact, there's one case that the nightmare it generated woke me and I got up and finished the story, based on my dream. Then, once done, I returned to bed only to have the same nightmare all over again. If it does, perhaps I'll be up most of the night writing out a short story about a Christmas horror. Well, if the dream wakes me, if it doesn't I hope I can remember enough to write down some notes on it when I wake in the morning. But, I prefer not to have this nightmare materialize, so I'll finish up with something happy. We, my wife, both daughters, and I, went shopping and finished up our Christmas shopping except for the girls who still want to get a gift for a friend. After we grabbed a bit to eat and then drove over and surprised my mother-in-law. We also brought her Christmas present over for her. She opened it right away, as we had planned, and almost started crying. A few weeks back, she asked if I could change the light in her microwave, it had burned out. The microwave was old, bought in the late eighties. I was surprised to see it was that old when I took the information off the tag on the back. I was even more surprised that it still worked at all. But, it was getting tired, taking about three minutes to heat a cup of water for tea. I knew it wouldn't last much longer, and with the extended time to heat things and just being that old, I'm sure it was costing a lot just to run the thing. It was also huge, taking up a lot of her limited counter space. My wife and I had talked it over and decided that she really needed a new one. But, we also knew she would have a lot of difficulties trying t figure out anything fancy. We looked around and couldn't find anything that looked right for her, so I looked online and found the perfect microwave for her. My wife agreed it was just the right one. I looked on Amazon and they had it, so we ordered it for her and it arrived a couple of days ago. It's plenty big enough inside for her needs, it has 1200 watts of cooking power, and it only has one knob. All she has to do is put the item in and set the timer until it's done. She tried it out right away with a cup of water and was overjoyed by how quickly it heated. From tap to just right for tea in forty-five seconds. And, the timer illuminates as you turn the dial, so it's very easy for her to see, given in the gloom if she doesn't turn the kitchen light on. We visited for a few hours then came home. Once we were home, my wife called her to let her know we were home safe and found out that she was making a cup of hot chocolate to enjoy before bed. She had also taken out some frozen leftovers and heated up an evening snack and thanked us again for the gift. I think the microwave is going to get a lot of use. It not only heats her food and beverages, but I think with every use, it will warm her heart as well. |
| We received a package today with Christmas gifts in it. Not just any package, one sent by a man named De'Vondre Campbell and his wife. We don't know these people personally, he's a linebacker for the Arizona Cardinals. He wanted to do something for some families that have adopted troubled children, and the agency we adopted our two girls through submitted our names. We received a form to fill out with some information about all of us, my wife, our two girls, and myself. It also had a place to list a few different gifts that each person wanted. We filed it out and submitted it, wondering if any of these items would be sent or if something else would arrive instead. We really weren't given such information except that the Campbells wanted to help make some families Christmas special. We opened the package and all the gifts inside were wrapped and tagged, so we put them under the tree. We had not told the girls anything about this, since we didn't know for sure if anything would even arrive. So, tonight we showed them the gifts, told them who the gifts were from, and I brought up De'Vondre's statistics for them to see. They were ecstatic that someone famous had sent them gifts and couldn't restrain from getting on their phones and sharing this with all their friends. I still don't think the full magnitude of this has sunk in fully for any of us. Not only did the package have gifts, but there were also a couple of cards, one for my wife and one for me. We opened them to find that they had also included two gift cards for a couple of items that would have been difficult to ship; one item my wife listed that she wanted was a bicycle. Since we had unintentionally opened part of our gifts, we decided the girls should get to open one of theirs as well; the package contained two gifts each. They each received one of the items off the list, not cheap little gifts but very nice gifts. When we listed things they wanted, we tried to think of things that would last and benefit them as well. One got a Kindle E-reader and the other got a graphics tablet that interfaces with the computer. Reading and creativity, what wonderful gifts, and they love them. Thanks to the Campbells Christmas started a little early this year; a year when so many people wonder if Christmas is even coming because of the pandemic, and here it is, the spirit of Christmas in full bloom. Not only wonderful gifts but also treasures because of who gave them and why. |
| Here I sit trying t think of something worth writing. My pop-up fish shelter arrived today and the ice auger came a couple of days ago. It's great to have them, but not really blogable. Perhaps when I get the rest of the stuff I need and head out ice fishing I will have a blogable experience. Yes, I made it up, my term: Blogable; worthy of blogging. Nothing blogable, so I turned to The Hub and looked at some prompts. I came across this one: You hide, but nobody seeks. Instead, they leave you alone in the woods. This actually happened to me once. I was probably fifteen and a bunch of us kids from the neighborhood decided to play hide-n-seek. We lived in a small town on the Mesabi Iron Range, so there were woods right close by, and that is where we took up our game. It progressed through the afternoon and good places to hide were becoming scarce. It was time to hide and everyone scattered in different directions except the girl who lived a couple of houses down. They had moved to the area that spring and we had hung out a few times but that was about it. I was actually surprised she had joined the game since she usually kept more to herself. We were close in age and I kind of had a crush on her, but she just didn't seem to be interested. Anyway, we both ran in the same direction and every place to hide seemed taken. I heard, "Ready or not, here I come." I had to find a place to hide and quick. There was some very thick brush a bit to my left, and in desperation, I headed to it and pushed myself into it. To my surprise, she followed. I tried to get far enough into this almost solid wall of brush and tangled vines so we would both be hidden. I made another thrust forward and broke through to find myself almost toppling down some old steps. It was dark and damp in this stairway into the blackness, so we just went far enough in so we could both hide. As our eyes adjusted, we could see that we had stumbled upon an old root cellar, the door now gone and the steps crumbling away. We went down a bit further, but just enough to be able to huddle together out of sight. She whispered softly that she was kind of scared of the blackness just a few feet away from us and pressed closer to me. I put my arms around her and was going to whisper back that it was just an old root cellar and nothing to be scared of, but before I could, she pressed her lips to mine. It surprised me and I must have tensed up because she pulled back a bit and said, "I'm sorry." I pulled her closer and leaned in and kissed her a bit longer than her kiss had been. This time she tensed a bit, but then relaxed. We spent a minute after the kiss just looking into each other's eyes, then almost at the same time admitted that we had never kissed like this before. That had us giggling and hushing each other so we wouldn't be found. Then we tried it again, with a few more kisses that went a lot better. She was the first to say we should head back. I agreed but told her I would like to return and explore the root cellar more. She took my hand as we headed back and asked if she could explore it with me. We were so caught up in our conversation that we didn't notice everybody was gone. They had given up looking for us and gone home but we did get teased a bit over us coming back together; we denied it all. We did go back a couple of days later to explore, with a flashlight and some candles. The root cellar had collapsed in the center, so no big adventure there. We did find kind of a natural trail that took us to a small cliff in the mine pit where we found a cave, but it was so low you had to crawl into it, and of course, there were bats. We did quite a bit of exploring together that summer, in more ways than one. |
| It's been a rough kind of day, not bad, just frustrating. I slept later than I wanted, which is good, I've been staying up pretty late and needed some sleep. But, shortly after I got up, the girls needed help with their school work; they are in distance learning until mid January. I don't mind helping them, but I prefer to have a chance to wake up my old brain and get it fueled up on some coffee first. After each received some help, they seemed to be doing good on their own, so I got on the computer to get a few things done. I would no more than get a good start and one or the other would need some help. After a few tries and failures to get something done, I closed things out and gave them my full attention. But, as soon as they had it, they both set about doing their work with no help needed. Fine, I thought, I'll go to the kitchen and get a few dishes washed up and start some lunch. Again, as soon as I got involved, they came needing some help. First one, then the other. Not getting anything accomplished, I returned to give them help but again, they didn't need it anymore. It went on like this all morning and into the afternoon. I had a doctor's appointment for a checkup this afternoon, so I wanted to freshen up and change before I had to leave. I told both girls I had to take a shower and get ready no later than one o'clock. The next thing I know, the older girl is in the bathtub. We have one bathroom, so I was out until she finished. I rushed her a bit and managed to get my shower and get out the door with no time to spare. Most times, if it doesn't involve them getting something, they prefer to stay home. Not today, as I rushed to get out the door, they wanted to come with me. The youngest was still in her pajamas and the older one, still wet from her bath had put on a t-shirt and shorts. I explained I didn't have time to wait for them and headed out the door. It's about a ten-minute drive to the clinic, and my phone was going off the entire drive. Silly questions they already knew the answers to and requests for me to pick up this or that. I even received some suggestions for dinner. I left the phone in the truck so it wouldn't be going off while I saw the doctor. The visit went well, but my blood pressure was up a bit. It tends to run on the high side anyway, so it didn't take much to push it into there. I explained to the doctor why my blood pressure was elevated as a result of the girls being very trying. She understood and didn't even schedule me to return in a week or so to have it rechecked. I do have to go back in the spring and have some blood work done and see where the blood pressure is then, but just more routine stuff. I also have to start logging my food/calorie intake and try and cut back on my daily intake as I work into some more exercise. Yes, I need to lose quite a bit of weight. Again, the doctor was very supportive and understanding when I explained that I tend to stress eat, and with the two adopted girls, there gets to be quite a bit of stress. Her recommendation is to find a nice hobby that will give me a break from the stress and a bit of exercise at the same time. I was already a step ahead on that one. I explained that I was waiting for a small ice fishing shelter to arrive by next week, and then it's out to the lake to sit in the fish shelter by myself and relax. I don't care if I catch any fish or not, just some time away from everything. Sure, catching some fish would be nice, but then the girls will see the fish and it will be the same thing, "Can we come with?" That would defeat the plan of getting away. As it was today, I'm already anticipating this, even though, they both have told me a few times, they do not like to ice fish. But, we'll see how it goes. The plan is, I go, they stay home so I can get some peace and quiet. I'm also thinking that I may be able to get some writing done as I sit out on the ice. Of course, that's up to the fish. I'll bring paper and pencil along just in case I do have something surface to write about. I don't know for sure, but it seems like a sure fire way to get the fish to bite. |
| I have been keeping track of the time I get in here to write, but it really doesn't matter, as long as I get in here, right? So, let's head straight into the topic, Wind Generators. Yes, those huge fans that litter the landscape and create quite an eyesore. I remember the first time I came across a huge wind farm, my first thoughts were, why save the world if it's going to covered in these unsightly bastards. But, hey, if they do the job, I suppose it's a trade-off. I did some research and what it takes to manufacture one of those monstrosities, then transport it, and finally set it up and maintain it, I can't see the thing ever breaking even. Have you ever seen one burn? I have, it overheated and ignited; black sooty smoke so thick it blocked out the sun, and for those downwind, evacuation time, the smoke is toxic. But, that's not my biggest concern. As for efficiency, it's a matter of opinion and mine could be wrong. But I do know this, they are going to destroy our world. In fact, they may have already started. I know the principle is simple, the wind blows, the blades turn, and energy is produced. But, in the process, there is a lot of resistance and there is a lot of heat generated. So, think about it, a cool wind blows across the land, but after it's powered all those generators, it's not blowing as hard and it's been warmed right up. Yep, global warming; didn't global warming start shortly after they put a bunch of those things up? But, that's just the start. See the wind blows over the blades and turns them. That means they only turn in one direction, but if they started turning in the opposite direction, they would produce wind. So, we are safe for a while, since most wind farms are not tied together --- yet. But as more wind generators go up, more and more will be tied together through the power grids. Not to digress, but even the name says it all, wind generator: something that generates wind. So, some years down the road, all these things are tied together, probably globally. Then, the storms start all over the world at the same time. How? Remember the resistance and warming effect I told you about, yeah, that. So, the storms are raging and lightning is striking all over. Well, lightning is electricity, lots of it and it often knocks out the power because it hits powerlines and tall structures. Well, when this happens, all this mega-electric power is released into the power grid and feeds back to the wind generators. Now, with all this energy feeding into them instead of out of them, they are no longer generators, they are huge electric fans and they are all running at the same time and they are all running very fast. This creates a huge amount of wind, worldwide, all blowing in the same direction. At first, it seems it will shift the jetstream, but give it even longer, it's going to propel the rotation of the earth like a giant airboat and that will be the beginning of the end as the world's rotation changes, and this planet likely tears itself apart. But say it does hold together, what's going to happen when our rotation changes direction and speed? Do we get that extra hour in our days, maybe two or three? Or, does it slow down and we go through months of day and months of night? Does this impact our orbit around the sun? There is no way of telling, but I can tell you this, it's not going to work out as it did on Star Trek when they used something similar to make a planet rotate. |
| It's 10:25, doing good again tonight. The youngest girl is still awake, but reading. Her times up at 10:30 and then she should be sleeping soon after. Ah, now comes my time. I hope I can stay awake and enjoy it for a while. I was up pretty late last night, about 1:30 when I gave up and headed for bed. After I finished in here I was going to watch a short video, but since my youngest was sleeping in the living room, I put in my ear buds as to not disturb her slumber. They didn't work! I checked the computer to connect them, but I couldn't find my Bluetooth. It stated it was turned off, but there was no switch to turn it back on. I had used it the evening before and it worked no problem, then last night, it's missing. I went online and researched the problem, found the solution and did what it said. I needed to delete the device, then shut down for a few seconds and then start back up so it would reload. But the device was not there. I ran the trouble shooter and it confirmed the same, no Bluetooth device installed. I woke early this morning and enjoyed some coffee and began researching the problem more deeply. I found a few more things to try and set about trying t get my Bluetooth back. It seems the device is not connected, or at least that's what all the tests and trials show. I don't know if it was knocked lose or what happened, but the device is not present. So, the device is not registering because it's not connected, even though nothing happened over night and it worked after we installed the new printer. All I can think of is, the Bluetooth fairy must have come during the night and took it! So, now what? I just got my computer back from having it fixed. I had to take it in because Windows wouldn't load. It's an hour and a half drive to take it in, then a week or more to get it fixed, then another hour and a half to go pick it up. Sure it's covered under the extended warranty, but all the fuss and time is a pain. Besides, did the Bluetooth get knocked loose when they shipped it off for repairs, when it was shipped back, or while I had it in transit? If I take it in I will either have to pay for labor or have them ship it again. So they fix the Bluetooth and then what, something else gets knocked loose or quits working? No, it's not work the trouble. I'll just purchase a Bluetooth dongle and go from there. |
| Doing better tonight, made it in before 11:00 p.m. but the youngest is still awake, reading. Hopefully, she falls asleep soon. The other night I wrote a bit about the new Covid vaccine. I mostly touched on the safety concerns so many people seem to have. In fact, over in Sparks, I read earlier a post about people being contacted in ten years if they took it, because of problems and litigations. Of course, we have this same issue with many drugs that have been more thoroughly tested and took years to develop. Also, there is concern about side effects but think about all the medications advertised on television and the list of nasty side effects from most all of them. Yet another point is, yes we may find problems down the road, but without it, many won't be around, down the road. But that's not what I wanted to write about tonight. Instead, my thoughts go to how fast everyone got going on finding a vaccine and getting it developed, tested, and out to the public; about a quarter of the time it usually takes. This got me thinking about new medications for other things, better medications, and medication for things that currently have none. If they can develop a Covid vaccine this fast, they should be able to develop other medications just as quickly. Also, there are medications found that are never fully developed because the cost is so high and the number of people who would purchase it is too low. For a pandemic, there's a lot of money to be made, and there is a lot of help with the costs of research and development that is not available for the average medication. With the same backing and desire, how many other health issues could be cured or treated better? It's just my thoughts and opinion, but if they can find and develop a vaccine for the pandemic this quickly, they should be able to do the same for other health problems. Sure, a bit more testing would be nice, but think about the person who is terminal and will not be here once the testing time is completed. If they can waive it for the pandemic, they can waive it for those who are willing to try because they have no other options and are about out of time. I think one thing we can learn from this pandemic is that it is possible to find cures and develop them much faster. I think it's time for a change. |
| Another late night, it's after midnight here; it's been kind of a long day. I was going to blog on some more about the Covid vaccine, or more accurately the speed at which it was developed. But, I will save that for another day because I want to discuss something else that I have seen a trend with. A brief history of what and why: My wife is artistic and she creates the images we put on our Christmas cards each year. Once the image is finished, we scan it, then arrange it for creating a folded card. She does the image, I do the formatting, and together we add graphics and text from the computer. Then, we print out a sample copy, make sure it's right, and if so, we print out the cards we need and send them. This year we are running behind, but last night she finished the image, and today we wanted to scan it and finish the cards. But, our all in one printer isn't working quite right. For some reason, scanning anything creates a shadow line right down the center of the page. Also, when printing, the printer creates a very light line across the paper. Finally, we discovered that we need to replace the colored ink cartridges. Our printer needed to be replaced. We went online and researched printers and looked at reviews. We decided on a HP model that did all we would need and the ink if through HP, was much cheaper. Walmart sells the printer we wanted, but there were only five left in stock at one specific Walmart, so we had to drive a bit to get it. I wanted to purchase it online to ensure we got one, but it was an in-store purchase only. We drove over and headed straight to the back to find none. My wife asked an associate, I could think fo a few other terms that fit her better - but we wont go there. She came around the corner with my wife, pointed, and said, "The printers are right there." as she pointed to the shelves. My wife again explained that it stated online that there were five, but there were none on the shelf. I had my phone out and was looking at their website at the time and showed her. She looked at the shelf and asked if we knew which printer they were out of. I gave her all the details from my phone and she looked at all the shelves, and then pointed to an empty spot and said, "They should be right there, we must be out." I showed her again that the webpage showed five in stock. She stated that it must be wrong, but if we could provide her with a barcode to scan, she could check the inventory. I asked, sarcastically, where would I find the barcode? She answered, dead serious, "It's on the box." This is not the first time this has happened at various Walmarts. I don't know why the employees are so indifferent and anything but helpful but it seems to be getting worse. In fact, early this spring, my youngest took my debit card and walked to a nearby Walmart and purchased an iPhone through Straight Talk. She's was eleven at the time, and didn't know what all she needed, but she wanted an iPhone. An associate set her up with a phone, the prepaid card a case, earbuds, everything she could possibly need, and let her pay for it. When she tried to pay for it with the debit card, another associate told her she couldn't use the card without a valid ID, because of her age. She showed them my driver's license and they accepted it. When we confronted them, they said, "All that was required was a valid ID, we ran it and it was valid." It wasn't her's or even had a picture that looked remotely like her, but it was valid. When we made a big stink about it, we were told it wasn't their fault, it was the girls and they were just doing their job, and with the pandemic, we should be thankful they were even willing to work! Worse yet, because she opened it and set up the phone, we couldn't even return it. I still have a five hundred dollar iPhone sitting around her someplace. I'd sell it cheap if I knew anyone who wanted a Straight Talk iPhone, hell for a hundred bucks I'll even through in the fifty dollar prepaid card. But, I digress; unless you're interested in the phone, then let me know. What I'm blogging about is with the pandemic, it's difficult to shop, so many of us are doing as much as we can online. Even when I can't purchase online for whatever reason, I do my comparing and looking online to stay out of the stores as much as possible. Then, I check inventory and make sure they have it. But when I get to the store, they don't. I've noticed this only when it's a sale and a great deal. I'm pretty sure someone is taking some and setting them aside for friends and family, possibly even gifts. I know Walmart does point of sale inventory. They know how many come in the back, then when the item is scanned at checkout, it's removed from inventory. When the count gets to a predetermined amount, an order for more is automatically generated. Now, with smaller items, sure the counts could be off as a result of shoplifting, but an inkjet printer? I think not. Even if something messed up, the count may be off by one, maybe even two, but five. I think not. No, they were there but tucked out of sight for someone else. I'd blame the gal who came to not help us, but it was plain to see as soon as she opened her mouth that her IQ was less than my dog's. I also know, we shop at Walmart as little as possible, even if we have to spend a little more someplace else. After today, I'd even drive twice as far just to not shop at Walmart. Even so, I may have to stop in there next week and bring a part of the box from the printer we did end up getting and telling that lady, "Here, the barcode you wanted from us so you can scan it to see if you have any." Then, after she scans it and shows me the other printers still on the shelf, I'll tell her, thank you, but I don't need one anymore, I had to purchase one someplace else to get you the barcode. I already know, she won't get it. |
| Well, I was doing good at blogging in before midnight, but no such luck for tonight, it's currently 1:28 in the morning, my time. My youngest is still awake and just came and asked me for a Melatonin so she can get to sleep. She has a friend staying over for the night, so we let them stay up until midnight. But, once midnight came and my wife was ready for bed, she checked in on them and they were all settled in watching cartoons. She said to let them watch for a bit longer and we both figured they'd fall asleep. The friend did, I went in to check on them about 1:00 and my daughter was the only one awake. Now she's back in bed and hopefully will be sleeping soon. Now, on to my blog post. My thoughts tonight, and for the last few days, is on the Covid Vaccine. It's amazing how fast they developed it and how fast they were able to get it tested and approved. I really don't have doubts about how well it will work or how safe it is although I hear a lot of people do have doubts. But, if you think about it, most of the medications advertised on television have taken far longer to develop, test, and get approval, yet the side effects for them sound worse, in most cases, than the condition they treat. That's also the case for many medications we have taken for years. Growing up, if we were sick with a fever, we were given aspirin, the miracle drug that stopped fever and relieved most of the discomfort. By the time I had a child on the way, we had learned that there were serious problems from children taking aspirin. Instead, give them acetaminophen. Now, we find that this also has some serious problems if taken for too long and in too high of a dose. Sure, there are risks with the vaccine and it's not going to work for everyone, but it's a good start. Soon enough there will be a few more choices to pick from, as well. Will it be worth the risk? I believe so. My reasoning is the severity of the virus as well as the severity of how much life has changed since it showed up. In my mind, I see it as a game of Russian Roulette with a few changes. Now, I know the numbers aren't accurate but this is in my mind, remember? So with Covid, we have a revolver with twelve chambers and every third one is loaded. Every time we go shopping or anyplace there are people, we spin the cylinder and pull the trigger. With the vaccine, we have the same revolver, but only one chamber is filled. I like the second set of odds much better. The only downfall I see is it will be spring or possibly even summer before it's available to people like me. But, even then we'll see a silver lining in the simple fact, a lot of other people will be getting vaccinated sooner and they will be the real test as to how well it works and how dangerous it is. |
| 10:55 Thursday, an early night for blogging, at least for me. Compared to most days, it's been pretty uneventful today; I'd like more, please. It's kind of nice to have a less stressful day, but at the same time, it leaves little to write about. For being a more mellow day, however, I find that I'm beat; feeling both physically and mentally exhausted. My youngest is still up, reading, but I think she will be falling asleep soon, she also seems pretty tired. The only thing keeping her from falling asleep is the fact that her friend is coming over tomorrow for a sleepover and she is very excited. This friend was over for a few hours yesterday, so I had an opportunity to meet her. She seems like a very nice young lady, quiet, kind of shy, but very polite and pleasant. I don't foresee any problems with her staying over except for the likely hood of two teenage girls not wanting to go to sleep tomorrow night. But, that's to be expected and something we talked about today. Tomorrow could be a bit more interesting trying to keep my daughter focused on her distant learning since she will be increasingly excited as the time for her friend to come over gets closer. But, I can use that excitement to motivate her to get her schoolwork done so we can drive over and pick her friend up. I'm finding it difficult to find anything much to write about. A few thoughts here and there is all that manifests. I suppose with an uneventful day and being ready to fall asleep as I type I'm doing pretty well. But, it seems the well has run dry and so this will be a short entry without much to say. |
| Hey, it's still before midnight and I'm back in to write my actual blog entry, now that it's peaceful and quiet. I wrote a short entry already, but it was more trying to practice blocking out the television that actually setting my mind free. Now, however, I can put down here my thoughts that I have been hanging onto while I wait for the quiet. Those thoughts are on Christmas. I've read a lot here and other places about Christmas not being the same this year. "Humbug!" I say. Those who think this way, in my opinion, have lost sight of what Christmas really is. There are nativity scenes all over, but for some, they don't really see what it represents, only that it's Christmasy. Think about that first Christmas, Mary, and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem while she is not only pregnant but almost due to deliver. Then, they can't find a room and have to take shelter in a stable full of animals. If things weren't bad enough, Mary goes into labor without any midwife or anyone to assist in the delivery. No clean towels or clean anything, just hay and straw. Then, once the baby is born, there isn't any place to put Him to rest except in a feeding trough. He doesn't get a warm blanket either, He's wrapped in swaddling clothes to keep him warm. What are these swaddling clothes? We don't know for sure, there are different views given, all we do know is they were strips of cloth. I ask you, where did they get the strips of cloth in a stable? They had just completed their journey and traveling back then wasn't an easy task and you wouldn't have much more with than just necessity. Perhaps they had packed some linen for their bed? Or did they tear strips from their clothing? Perhaps the strips came from the sacks used to carry feed to the animals. One popular belief is the strips were the same as used for wrapping the dead for burial; why would these be in a stable? Perhaps that is where these types of clothes were stored until needed. Now, here are these people complaining that Christmas won't be Christmas because they can't have it the way they want it. Well, I say to you, Christmas is Christmas for that very reason. It wasn't the way that Mary and Joseph wanted it, either, but it came and it was and still is, Christmas. And, I would like to add, it was Christmas for all mankind, no matter what they believed or who they worshiped. He came for all of us and He died for all of us, no exceptions. I add this last part because I've also come across those who are offended when we wish them happy holidays or Merry Christmas. I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but when I say Merry Christmas to anyone, I am not pushing my beliefs on them, I am not trying to pull them into my holiday, I am simply wishing them happiness and merriment during the holiday season. I mean, the message of Christmas is clear, peace on earth and goodwill towards man. Peace on earth. What does that mean? It means, set aside your differences and accept everyone for who they are and what they believe, even if it's different. Goodwill towards man. What's that mean, just as it sounds, wishing everyone happiness, being friendly, and being helpful. I also want to point out, it states to mankind, not any one race or religion, but to everyone. I also believe that even though this is the message at Christmas, it's not meant o be a Christmas message, but one we hold true throughout the year. Christmas is just our reminder. So, to any non-Christians who may read this, if I wish you a Merry Christmas, please don't be offended, I'm not pushing, I'm not suggesting, I'm just wishing you happiness and goodwill through the holiday and the year. You don't have to say anything back, you could say thank you, and you could return my message by wishing me a merry _________. Fill in the blank with your favorite or most holy holiday. I would be thankful for the wonderful wishes. |
| It's after eleven here, so still Wednesday, but I likely won't get this entry done until after midnight. My youngest is still awake, watching the tail end of her television show. Her mood is pretty good, but she had a friend over and her excitement is still up. We talked a bit just a few minutes ago, and in about fifteen to twenty minutes, she will turn the tv off and try to sleep. It would be nice if I could get lost here in some writing, but the tv is a distraction; I like it, no, I need it quiet and without interruption to get lost in my mind and let the writing flow. So, until then, I'm writing a little, but without being able to put my full attention on what I'm typing out. Oh, how I wish, sometimes, that I could shut things out and just get lost in my writing, oblivious to anything else. My brain seems to never shut off, except when I'm lost in my writing. But even then, I need it quiet and uninterrupted or I get pulled back into reality and all those thoughts start pushing in. If only I had a channel selection knob that I could turn to the desired channel, be it writing, adulting, or going to sleep. |
| Tuesday, 11:26, in before midnight my time. It was an interesting day with a lot of room for things to go wrong, but they ended pretty well instead. I was up late, not finishing my blog post last night until almost 1:00 this morning. It had been a stressful night and I was relaxing a bit with a couple of cans of beer and a few shots of Fireball while I wrote. After, I watched a couple of short videos and went to be about 2:00. I dozed right off but woke up a short time later. From there it seemed I kind of dozed and woke until 7:00 this morning when the dozing off failed and I decided to get up. I hadn't drunk that much, but I could have just as well drunk the full bottle of Fireball and chased it down with at least a six-pack or more. My head hurt, my stomach was all tore up, and of course, I was very tired. I got myself a cup of coffee and nursed on it for a while, visiting a bit with my wife and oldest daughter who was up for school. Soon, she was out the door to wait for the bus to pick her up. It drove right past without stopping! It was still plenty early, so she relaxed for a bit, then I drove her in and dropped her off, then returned home, still feeling like road-kill. My youngest was just waking up and getting ready for her online schooling when I got home. She always asks me questions and likes some help from me, even if she doesn't need it, so I had to work my tired and aching brain for a while. I drank a third cup of coffee, but never finished it, the normally wonderful elixir was not settling well. My daughter suggested I lie back down, stating that I looked terrible. I took her up on and trusted her to get her school work done. I fell right to sleep and woke up an hour and a half later, feeling fine. She was finishing up her school work, then spent a bit of time on her phone. I told her we needed to talk about some stuff after I had some coffee, which she didn't argue with at all. The talk went better than I expected, we both talked and she did very well at staying focused and engaged throughout the conversation, another difficult thing for her. After, she seemed to be in a better mood, and I got busy on some backed up dishes. That' when I got the phone call from my older daughter at school. She wanted her friend to come over after school for a while. Normally we don't like last-minute guests over, but with everything being so messed up with the pandemic and her not having many friends here yet, I gave in. This got the younger daughter worked up, but she was handling it well. She opened up and talked about her sister getting to go to school when she can't, and now she gets to have a friend over, too. I reminded her that she could have friends over as well. She had recently made a new friend and asked if she could come over. I agreed and she contacted her friend; everything was set, but when it came time for her friend to show up, she got a call and her friend's parents had changed their mind. Another big let down and she really looked like she was going to break out in tears. Her friend texted her and said that tomorrow would work, so they planned it out and things got a little better. The older girl got home after school with her friend and that went well, too. Up until she asked if she could go over to the friends and spend the night. Of course, I was out having a cigarette at the time and my wonderful wife passed the buck off on me, Again, since they are doing distant learning I agreed if the school work got done. This upset the younger daughter since she had asked if her friend coming over tomorrow could spend the night here. I must thank my wife for getting me right in the middle of it, but I explained that I had thought it over and as long as it did not interfere with school work, she could have her friend stay over, too. However, they had already started plans for a Friday night sleepover. With those big eyes pleading with mine, I really couldn't say anything to let her down again today, so I just smiled and nodded. As it stands right now, her friend is coming over tomorrow, but it's still not decided if she's spending the night. She's also, as far as I know, going to be over Friday to spend the night. When the older girl gets home tomorrow and finds out, she's going to be wanting to spend another night this weekend as well. It seems I'm stuck right in the middle, and as I said, I'll have to remember to thank my wife for passing this along. At least both daughters are happy and the youngest one even went to bed on her own tonight. |
| It's a bit late getting in here again, 11:19 my time. Once again, it's the same daughter with the same issues and I'm still just as stumped with how to deal with it. But, I did make it in again and just managing to get a daily blog entry is kind of nice. It was kind of a long day, the oldest daughter was having some difficulties right away this morning with her distant learning, so she emailed her advisory teacher. The school is shut down until after the first of the year, but he's managed to get advisory students in a couple of days a week so they can get extra help. He set it up so she should be able to go all week, starting today, so we had to scramble a bit to get her off to school when my wife drove in for work. The younger girl did pretty well, but had a bit of an attitude because her sister gets to go to school and she doesn't. She loves school but a lot of it has to do with hanging with her friends, but she doesn't quite understand that even if she did go, they wouldn't be there. In her mind, it's unfair that her sister can go and she can't and she argues that if she could go so could her friends who are also advisory students. Once she was finished with school work, she relaxed with her phone for a bit. I had taken my computer in for repairs and have been waiting for it. I received an email that it was fixed and ready for pick up. It's an hour and a half drive to the store where I took it in and had to pick it up, and when I tried to drop it off, I had to make an appointment, which had me waiting for over two hours to leave it to get fixed. So, when the email stated that I needed to make an appointment to pick it up, I didn't hesitate to click the link and do just that. The soonest I could get the computer was today at 7:40 to 8:00 this evening, so I took it and confirmed the reservation. A few minutes later, I received a confirmation email that I was to bring with me to get my computer. Great, I was excited to have it back. But, about half an hour later I got a call from the store. I was told that the store closed at 7:00 so I wouldn't be able to get in at the reserved time. I explained why and what, and he apologized for the whole mess. He said if I could get there before seven, I could pick it up anytime and didn't need a reservation. So, I decided to drive over and get it, taking my youngest with me to do her Christmas shopping. This got things stirred up again because she doesn't like long drives and would rather stay home on her phone with friends. We talked for a bit and she seemed to do pretty good again, we went to pick up the computer and then to get something to eat. After I let her do her shopping and we drove home. The evening went fine, then she went to her room and watched an hour of television and came out to read before bed. Instead of settling in, she insisted that she wasn't tired and didn't want to go to bed. I explained, again, that if she wasn't able to sleep after spending time on her phone and watching television, I would have to set the times back and get her off the screens so she could sleep. She instantly developed an attitude about if I didn't get my way I would take things away. I didn't want to get a fight going tonight, so I dropped it, she read for a half-hour and is now still trying to get to sleep. I know screen time can interfere, but she tends to do pretty well. It's more her general attitude that I'm up to spend time in here, then she should be able to stay up, too. I know it's nothing more than her not going to school and being upset because of the restrictions, She has no way of directing her frustration towards our elected officials or the virus behind this, so it's directed at me. But, I'm getting tired; I can't do anything about any of it and it's making everyone's life miserable, but how do I relay that to a thirteen year old? |
| Sunday, 11:14 and once again I'm in before midnight. I was starting to doze off waiting for the youngest to get to sleep, but now I have a little quiet time to come in and write. Yesterday the question was what to do today, go Christmas shopping as we had planned or go to my mother-in-laws and help her out with setting up her new freezer, moving some stuff around, and helping her get her garage organized. Originally, we wanted to shop Saturday, but it did not work out so we decided on today, then the request for help came. This morning both my wife and I were up early again; so much for sleeping in on the weekend and catching up on some much needed rest. We talked it over and still could not decide. We really wanted to get the biggest part of our shopping done but we also wanted to help my mother-in-law. Part of the problem is, not very many of her family goes to see her and she gets very lonely, especially this time of year. For example, she called another of her daughter's because she needed toilet paper. We assume she had figured we would put her off and do our shopping, so this was a good way to get someone to come over. Well, we didn't put her off, but planned on getting things done early so we would have time t shop for a bit this afternoon. The other daughter did bring her a package of toilet paper, made her pay her back for it, and also charged her mother for gas money. My wife took the package of toilet paper to the laundry room to store it and seen there was four more packages, large packages, already stacked in there. When she came out, she told her mom, "You have enough toilet paper in there to last the winter, you didn't need more." My mother-in-law nodded and said, "I know, but that's the only way I could get her to come over for a little bit." I'm glad we made time this morning to help her out and visit for a little while. After, we came home, relaxed for a little bit, then headed in the opposite direction and got some shopping done. It made for a long day, a lot of driving, and I'm feeling beat, but I'm also feeling good. Oh, and she already requested some help next weekend, but I've already forgot what for. It wasn't really anything important, she just gets lonely and looks for ways to get someone to visit. Maybe, if things work out, we can deliver her Christmas present a bit early and spend the day. Her Christmas present is from another request she has for me, her microwave light burned out and she wants me to change it. It's an old microwave and it looks like the only way to get to the bulb is to pull it all apart. Oh, and it was purchased in 1984; I'm surprised it still works. Well, it kind of works, it took three minutes to heat up a cup of coffee that was at room temperature. She doesn't know it, but we found a simple microwave that will be easy for her to operate. Even though it's half the size of her old one, it's the same size oven inside, and it should not only heat her food and beverages up quickly, it should use a lot less electric, too. |
| It's eleven o'clock on Saturday night; I made it before midnight my time and the emphasis is on made it in. Saturday morning, no alarm and everyone gets to sleep. But, I was up before eight,, even though I didn't get to bed until almost two-thirty. As a result, I was falling asleep in my chair a couple hours ago and figured I'd be in bed as soon as the girls were tucked in. I just got the last daughter tucked in and she is trying to go to sleep now. Of course, they did sleep in. We had planned to go Christmas shopping today, but things didn't work out until it was already late afternoon, so we decided to put of shopping until tomorrow. But, I found a voice message from my mother-in-law earlier this evening saying she had been trying to get a hold of my wife and to have her call her. She also added that she needs a little help. She purchased a small freezer she needs set up in the entry between the house and garage. Whoever hauled it brought it in but didn't bother to move anything and set it in place. Currently there is a bench sitting where the freezer needs to go. The bench needs to go to the garage, but before there's room in the garage, other things need to get moved to the big garage which is so packed full from some re-flooring, there's hardly room to walk. Again, most of this stuff should have gone to the big garage, but my brother-in-law who put the new flooring down was short on help. We, my wife, daughters, and I, were supposed to go help move everything, but we had one sick daughter, just a bad cold, and had possibly been exposed to Covid. We had to self quarantine until the person had her test results back to know if we had been exposed or not. There was no Covod, just a nasty cold, which explains where my daughter caught it. My wife called her mom back, but we didn't have an answer for her because we were both tired and wanted to discuss what direction we plan on going tomorrow. My mother-in-law lives about forty minutes east of us and our shopping will take us about forty minutes west, opposite directions. I hate to not help her out, but at the same time, I hate to put off the shopping, too. With hind sight, I see we should have gone today, but of course, we don't have foresight until it turns to hindsight. There is also the other issue, my back. It's done great today and isn't even real sore anymore. But, being the first day of full recovery had me thinking that maybe it was a good thing we didn't get out shopping. All that walking, bending, and just the stress of shopping on a Saturday may have set me back. But now, on the same hand, moving furniture and a freezer may also be too much too soon. The part that makes it so frustrating is that the son-in-law who did her floor lives a couple hours away, but was able to come help her out. We live almost an hour away and make it over quite often to help her out. But, she has a son who lives about ten minutes, if that, who won't do any more than he absolutely has to. She also ahs two other daughters who live less then twenty minutes away who also won't do much to help her out. Of course there are adult grandchildren who also live close, one in the same small town, about three blocks away. It's undecided, but if we don't go tomorrow, it's going to be next weekend before we can go help. I hate to leave her waiting that long. Besides, she wants me to change the light in her microwave for her, she asked last weekend. Of course, it would require removing the entire cover to do this, a rather big job. Also, the microwave is about twenty years old! We had planned on getting her a new one for Christmas, but maybe we can find one at a decent price not too far out of the way and deliver her gift a little early. Of course, that means paying more that if we go the other direction where there is a Menard's and a Walmart. What to do, oh what to do? I hope tomorrow I can update this item with our decision and how everything played out. |
| In a bit later again today, but still before midnight my time. It's kind of funny looking at the little calendar just to the left and seeing a day missing here and another there, however, it feels good to be in here writing something every day, no matter how late it gets. I'm glad to say my back is doing a great deal better today, sore and a bit stiff, but no spasms and I'm able to do a few things again. It felt great to be able to actually cook my daughter some lunch this afternoon, and even better to cook supper for the whole family this evening. Tomorrow, if things continue to go well, my wife and I may be able to follow through on out plans to go do some Christmas shopping. We have some items ordered, but the expected delivery dates range from Dec. 8 through Jan. 8, and some items haven't even shipped yet. I'm also surprised to see how many items are out of stock; this has been the case most fo the year now, but at least toilet paper is in good supply again. One day, after I pass from this life to the next, all the questions of the universe will be revealed, but until then, I don't think any of us will ever really know why there was such a shortage of toilet paper. I'm still waiting for the episode of Hoarders where they find a big two story house with full basement and attached three stall garage packed so full of toilet paper that there is barely a path to get through. Then again, perhaps it was a government conspiracy and someone, someday, will unearth a huge underground vault in some moutain range packed full of every type of toilet paper known to mankind.Yet another theory is that aliens discovered our pandemic early on, before we even knew how severe it was going to be. And, in this same scenario, consider Earth to be the only planet in the known universe that produces toilet paper. With an inter-galactic fear that Earthlings may not survive the pandemic, aliens flocked to our planet and abducted all the ass-wipe. Anyway, it could be something else less dramatic, but then again... |
| Wow, I'm in here pretty early for a change, only 10:30 here and 11:30 site time. It wasn't looking good for getting in here this early, but I got a nice surprise. But first, I'm going to save my entry and then edit it, maybe that will log the time I got in here. Maybe not, but it's worth a try. It's been a pretty uneventful day as a whole, but it started out looking like the beginning of a troubled day. Our oldest daughter was supposed to catch the school bus this morning for her advisory class. The school is closed for normal classes, but her advisory teacher finagled it so his students could attend Thursday and Friday instead of online classes at home. But, the bus that was supposed to stop didn't. My wife works at the school and starts at nine, so she gave the oldest a ride in. But, it already had our daughter's anxieties going and I didn't know how the day would progress. Our younger daughter, who loves school, didn't get the same option, so she had to be up and do her classes online. I perceived problems here as well. She was a bit late logging into her first hour class, but since it was the first day of online classes, a lot of other students also logged in late. her classes went well except for her second period, the teacher, for what ever reason, wasn't able to hold class. But it was posted and she had already worked ahead and had the assignment finished. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. After school, both girls did pretty good but then about 9:00 this evening, they wanted to watch their television show. It was done a little before 10:00, but the youngest said they wanted to watch a second one. This has been the routine over the last week. My wife wanted to go to bed, and since their TV is easy to hear in our room, I had them move out to the living room to finish the show. That's when the older girl stated she didn't want to watch the show, but the younger girl had started it and she didn't want to miss any of it. Of course, the younger girl said her sister was lying and things started to heat up. I was sure we were going to have them both at it, but surprisingly, when I told them from now on, no television after 10:00 from now on, they both got quiet and didn't argue. Once the show was done, the oldest sent to bed, the younger snuggled up with her blanket on the floor and closed her eyes, happy to sleep where she was; she often sleeps in the living room and as long as she's going to sleep, I'm not going to stir things up by trying to get her off to bed. In all, a good day. How things worked out as they did, I'm not sure. But, if it's a gift for the day, I accept it, if it's a change on how things will be looking forward, that's even better. It does leave a question in my mind, however, "Where did our girls go?" |
| I made it in, a bit later than I should have, it's just after eleven here, but it's still Wednesday so I'm good. I almost put this off, since sitting up at the desk is a bit discomforting tonight. I also thought of trying to sit in my comfortable chair in the living room and type this out on the laptop, but I wasn't sitting very well there, kind of lisping to one side which would make typing a bit difficult. Yes, my back is still being a pain, and as soon as I'm done here I'm off to bed. I was doing better through most of the day, sore, stiff, and not having full feeling back in my right foot, but the shooting pain down my right buttock was gone and the spasm that I had yesterday had ceased. I was doing so well that I was thinking about hanging the cane back up, but decided against it until more time had passed. My wife had just gotten home from work, bring us deli chicken and sides for supper. I went out to smoke and get the door for her and my daughter who was helping with hauling everything in. I was fine until I came inside and set my cane off to the side to take my jacket off. I had just slipped out of it when my pelvis decided to slip out as well. One big spasm, a bolt of white-hot lightning shooting down my right buttock and leg, and total loss of feeling in my right foot. Even as it hit I felt myself starting to buckle, but I couldn't stop myself. The muscle spasm was too strong and down I started to go, holding the back of the chair to keep from falling completely. I did manage to hold on for a bit, but another spasm and more pain ended any chance of not ending up on the floor. Once down, all I could do was lie there and wait out the following spasms and hope they would subside. If they did not, I knew I'd be going for a ride to the hospital, but once lying flat on my back with my knees bent, the pressure was off and the spasms left. I was able to get up and back into my chair. So far, the spasms haven't returned, the pain isn't really bad, but that's only because there's a sense of numbness in my lower back, and even the shooting pain has subsided more of a tingling than actual pain. That there are still some nerves pinched is clear, the right foot is red and feels like it's asleep, but I hope by morning it will be better again. Usually, this only lasts a few days, and then as quickly as it hit, it's gone again with just some general aching in it's wake, like bruised muscle. |
| I'm late again tonight so it's looking like I missed a day on my calendar, but this is still my December first entry, it's just thirty minutes into tomorrow. I'm having some problems with my back tonight, and it's a real pain. I know, bad pun. But, if I don't make humor of it, I think it coud drive me batty, and this is the wrong holiday for bats. It's funny, in a non-humorous kind of way, how I can do so many things that could throw my back out, and I'm fine. Then, without really doing anything, it's just out. I injured my lower spine and shattered my tail bone many years ago. At the time, I had a lot of pressure on my spinal column that left me with limited use of my legs and some major lower back spasms. After a few weeks in the hospital, I was able to return home with the aid of a walker. With lots of physical therapy and getting my spine extended on a modern day version of the rack, I eventually was able to move with a cane and then without. It healed pretty well, but left me a couple of reminders. One of which is a disc that bulges out of place and creates a weak link in my lower spine. The second is a pelvis that sometimes shifts out of place and kind twists and tilts on the spine. This of course creates a lot of pain, muscle spasms, and pressure on the spinal column as well as pinching some of the nerves that go to my legs, especially the right leg. It also leaves me looking very crooked and bent. As I mentioned earlier, I can do al sorts of things that involve lifting, bending, and twisting and not get anything more than a sore back from them. Then, like today, I can be relaxing in my chair for a little while after getting things ready for dinner, then go to stand up and my pelvic shifts and I'm back to hobbling around with a cane, sharp pains shooting down my leg and no feeling in my foot. That has a lot to do with me not logging in earlier. I spent some time sitting in my chair with seems to support my back very well and let it rest for a while. It helped, I'm moving around without the need of the cane again, but keeping it close just in case. I took a couple of Advil for the pain and it's helped a lot with my back, but I still have a lot of pain shooting into my right buttock and down the back of my right leg. My foot feels like it's asleep, but it's got feeling, and I'm able to sit up and type without discomfort. Now, it's about time for bed. I'd say, "A good night sleep and I'll be good as new", but that's another problem, I cannot stay in bed for too long or I will wake to a very stiff and sore back. So, maybe being up late tonight will be a blessing and I won't make my back any worse by sleeping too long. |
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