For some reason, despite knowing about 20% in that this was going to be a terrible book and vaguely guessing how the ending will turn out (because the book telegraphed it in the opening scene), I still kept reading through the end. And boy, do I regret that now.

At its core, this is a book in the "billionaire romance" genre. You know, that genre made popular by Fifty Shades of Grey where super hot, super rich titans of industry fall in love with a meek protagonist and lift her out of obscurity to give her the glamorous life she's always wanted. Except, in this case, the author decides to put a twist on it by asking to very bold questions:

         1. What if the billionaire is actually a giant douchebag in desperate need of therapy?

                   AND

         2. What if the protagonist is actually a psychopath with a sub-standard IQ?



The basic premise for this book is that the main character (Rosemary) is a down-on-her luck twenty-something who tries becoming a high-end escort to help support herself and her sister, but almost immediately gets the attention of Leo Glass, a facsimile of Mark Zuckerberg from Facebook, who wants to pay her for "the girlfriend experience" for a year, whenever he deigns to have time for her. She agrees to do it in exchange for $6,000 a month and an apartment.

At first, it seems like a good deal, especially since Leo is never around. Two months go by and they see each other like twice. But then he all of a sudden decides that he wants to take the relationship to "the next level" and wants her to come over to his house. She assumes he wants sex but he is repulsed by that idea... his idea of "the next level" was having her dress up in the same outfit he always wears (gray sweatpants and a blue hoodie), and cook him a dinner composed of his mother's favorite meals. She also left her jacket there and he threw it out rather than return it to her (because he wants her to start wearing clothes like him), and starts making a habit of spying on her using his company's technology (which basically puts cameras all over the city), and sending his goons to tell her she's not allowed to go out and drink with her friends, etc. because it embarrasses him.

But Rosemary is all like:



She lives in downtown Portland and makes the equivalent of $72,000 a year plus an apartment (one that can't be that great because her next door neighbor is a viola player for the local symphony and can afford his identical unit on his own), and yet Rosemary is constantly looking at this behavior and going, "Oh I have to put up with this because I have no other options." The author tries to establish that she can't get a legitimate job elsewhere, but she also got into this by trying to be an escort, so maybe just find some different clients?

Leo decides everything is going great and even though Rosemary is clearly not into him, and proposes to her. In the timeline of the book, during the year that they were supposed to be together, he basically ignores her for two months, then obsessively stalks her for a month, then proposes to her. On the night he proposes to her, her removes her IUD with a pair of tweezers because "they might as well start working on their family ASAP."

Now, you might think this would be a dealbreaker on top of all the other stuff... and to be fair to Rosemary, it kind of is. She decides she's going to end the arrangement even if she walks away with nothing. But then she agrees to one last dinner at Leo's place during which she kills him.

That's it. The book's over right? WRONG. We're only 70% done, because the author decides to throw in a bunch of completely random stuff, like how the musician neighbor that Rosemary has the hots for tries to get her to flee the country with him so she'll be safe, and she instead turns herself in and stands trial for Leo's murder (which the book goes into excruciating - and inaccurate - detail with). Then, when she's acquitted, she basically admits that she went over to the house planning to kill him the whole time because she's always wanted to kill someone which makes her... a premeditated murderer? But hey, she moves to a new country and meets up with the hot musician who's in town for a gig and then tells herself how great it is that she finally gets her deserved happily ever after because she's done with all the trauma she consentingly agreed to Leo put her through.

So that's about the gist of it. A "billionaire romance" where the protagonist is an idiot/aspiring murderer who doesn't know when to bail on a bad situation, and she meets an emotionally stunted manchild whose only redeeming qualities (if you can call them that) are his money and his looks. Totally rooting for all the characters in this one!

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Created Apr 06, 2024 at 12:21pm • Submit your own review...