Be Still

Be Still

I know I shouldn't think about you,
What am I doing?
You will never be more than a friend,
but why do I keep dreaming?

I kick myself to cease this madness,
I can't keep doing this,
my life's already a mess,
But my mind still contemplates your kiss.

You're nothing but a showoff,
a girls' worst nightmare.
You got the looks... you know it,
you like it when they stare.

I don't want to walk down That road,
even if I could,
I don't want to subject myself to the insecurity,
But... I know... I probably would.

That's what scares me the most,
my lack of self-control.
I could easily lose myself in you,
But that's a place I can not go.

Sometimes I find myself crying..no reason at all,
That's when I know how bad I really am,
I let the tears fall,
No use hiding behind my disintegrating dam.

I don't think I have much more to give,
my heart is practically dissolved.
All the pain that's held within,
has left hardly a morsel at all.

I know myself more when I see less,
I have tried to keep the courage alive,
sometimes I wonder why there's so much pain?
Because... my world has suddenly died.

It hurts.. Too much to acknowledge.
Struggling to make it, but I don't think I will,
as though darkness and pain collide,
Black hole, that is my heart...
Be still.