Wishing You Weren't

When I was little
You were my world
But now I feel like
I’m “just another girl”
We were just friends
For all of time
I always knew
You’d be right by my side
When I was lonely
Or had a bad day
You knew what I felt
And just what to say
You made me laugh
Like no one else could
You made me mad
Like no one else should
We’d sit and we’d talk
For hours on end
I always loved
Being your closest friend
You were my “boyfriend”
And you were my first
All through third grade
“For better or worse”
We both grew up
And farther apart
I don’t know why
You’re still in my heart
I know that sounds strange
I can’t figure it out
And no one can tell me
What it’s all about
Oh I know we still talk
And share lots of things
But the friendship I want
Is alone in my dreams
I’ve never felt like
I had to pretend
But lately I’m wishing
You weren’t just a friend
I sit and I watch you
Most every day
Knowing there’s things
That I just can’t say
Cuz if you but knew
The way things are now
You’d leave me alone
So I hide it somehow
I can’t ever tell you
So I keep it inside
It’s not that I’m lying
There’re just things to hide
You know all about me
I wish I knew you
I wish that you saw me
Like I want you to
I know there’s no chance
That you’ll notice me
There’re so many girls
To know and to see
I’ve never had charm
Or beauty or fame
Sometimes I feel
Like I’m just an old name
You pass me by
Most every day
But you never see me
Any other way
I’m just a girl
You’ve known all your life
Maybe a friend
Though you don’t why
Sometimes I wish
I could just make you see
That you really knew
This true part of me
I don’t understand
It confuses me yet
You’re just my friend
Yet I still forget
I forget that I’m
Just another face
Another person
In another place
I long for the closeness
But sometimes it feels
That not even our friendship
Is really real
I wish I could tell you
But I know that I can’t
You listen, you smile
But you don’t understand
I know it would ruin
The little we have
I can’t take that chance
Losing you would be bad
You’re my best friend
But I wish you weren’t
Then maybe right now
My heart wouldn’t hurt
Maybe I’d be who I want to be
Maybe you’d see me differently
I wouldn’t trade
All the things I have learned
We may be best friends
But I wish we weren’t.