Fool's Paradise

I stood in the dark corner of the mind, with the hope that I would be remembered enough to exist. Finally there was a light in the dark recesses of my lair. My eyes were suddenly thrusted into view of a field. The wind blew viciously, creating waves in the sea of tall green and brownish grass. The sky was an invading dark mass of clouds spewing forth bolts of lightning and rain.

It wasn't until I moved forward that I realized I was standing in a puddle. It was stained in crimson, and too thick for water. There was a trail of similar puddles to my left, so naturally I followed it. As I moved towards the horizon in the distance, grass swayed at my knees, rain came crashing down onto my head, and my ears were assaulted with the cracking sounds following the lightning strikes. Once I reached the horizon, I realized I was on top of a hill. Looking down, I noticed a vicious sight of chaos.

Hundreds of men were at the bottom, beating each other senseless. It was strange, a battle in a storm with no real weapons except those that god gave us. I tilted my head to think about this for a moment. With careful consideration, I could only come up with two words, "fuck it." My body was pushed forward with great alacrity. I was sprinting towards the brood below. I didn't want to engage with these bloodied bodies fighting for no purpose. But I was compelled by a higher state. It was inevitable I suppose,it felt as if I had no real choice, my destiny was already mapped out for me.

I lept into the crowd of men beating each other relentlessly. I began to grind my boney knuckles into the flesh of complete strangers. I thrusted with incredible force and anger towards the unknown men. It was all too blurry for me to really explain what happened. Blood splashed from faces, eyes bursted, entire bodies were bruised and ripped open as men continued to fight without regard for pain or mercy. I do recall being kicked in the gut, and falling to the ground once. The only reason I remember it, is because my face landed in a stream of blood, with teeth, and severed fingers scattered along the ground. I saw the bare grotesque nature of these men. These men whom I knew so well, at least in their actions and reasoning.

There was no pleasure for me in the sights, but there was pleasure in the victories on the field. I drove my fist into one incredibly massive and powerful looking man, if you could call him a man. He was coming after me with brute force. He punched me once, in the side of the head, and it nearly knocked me out cold. I stood up after being brutalized by the beast, and layed him out with a series of punches, kicks, and bites all over his body. It was a small victory, but small victories go a long way when you are fighting to survive. In the aftermath of the battle, what felt like hours upon hours later, the once green field was stained a dark red. Most of the men were either dead, or knocked out from the fighting. There were a few remaining standing including myself. I was soaked in blood, and I had no fucking idea why. What the fuck compelled me to attack?

But before I could answer my own bitter question, everything went dark again. I hated this. Here I am in the middle of a bloody field, full of bodies, and suddenly I black out. It has happened before. In fact, it has happened several times. Then like so many times before, I was somewhere else. I had no recollection of how I came to be where I was, and yet, I had no time to try and figure it out either.

I was running in a swamp. I don't even recall beginning to run, but for some reason, I was grinding my way through the terrain. When I looked back a beautiful woman was behind me, she cried out "Wait Tes, wait!" Tes? Yes... this was my name. I recalled that at least. "Come on Belle, hurry up, its closing in on us." I yelled back. Somehow, I knew this girls name and I knew why I was running. Why I was running... Oh fuck, something was chasing us. Belle fell in the swamp water behind me as I was thinking this to myself. I spun around and pulled her up. "Lets go Belle, hurry." We were running, in what seemed to be an endless swamp, with trees springing out of the water all over.
I looked at her face, there was some kind of comfort there, in her beauty, in those deep gray eyes. I saw compassion, care, hell maybe even love. I don't know exactly what it was, but I needed to protect her, from whatever was happening. So I pushed her along, and decided to stay behind her instead of leading the way. If anything was coming, it would come for me first.

I looked back, but there was nothing. I was afraid of this. I couldn't even see, or know what I was afraid of. But perhaps thats what frightened me. We stopped to catch our breath for a moments time. "What's after us Belle?" I asked looking for some sort of clarity. She squinted at me, as if confused by the question. "Tes, we don't have time to sit around, its close. We must get away. Lets go! We have no time for games." She barked at me with fear in her voice. I looked all around, but I didn't see anything. But we started to run again. We forced our way through the swamp with incredible force, and it was tiring. I stopped for a moment, and looked around. There was still nothing. Then suddenly, I heard a terrible high pitched roar that I couldn't describe. It was simply awful. I covered my ears, and turned around to see, but then it happened again.

It was black again. Fuck! Where was Belle? What happened to the swamp? I think I am going insane in this state of mind. When I came to again, I was in a room.

Beautiful women were all around me in this room. They were naked, bare to the flesh. Their gorgeous bodies oozing lust. "I don't quite know how to put this ladies. But how did I get here?" I yelled out to all the women surrounding me. They were all over me, grabbing me, holding me, fighting over me. "No talking. Just sit back and relax." An anonymous voice called out. I was trying to grasp the situation I was in, and what I did to end up in the heaven. Was I dreaming? What is this nonsense? Then suddenly Belle came into focus, she was completely naked this time though. She pushed the other girls out of the way, and said, "Tes, I want you." We began to kiss and grab each other. Suddenly, she was on top of me, thrusting her body at me. I just held on and enjoyed the pleasure. For a moment that is. Right before I got to the moment of bliss, everything went black once more.

Now I ask you, is this any kind of a life? This was no way to live. I needed to stay in one reality, not wake up in hundreds upon thousands of others. Then, the moment of clarity came to me at the last moment when I was standing in some filthy alley following the last black out.

It was dark, and cold. I looked around and saw a sea of familiar faces. There were the men who beat each other senseless standing around me the same way I left them, bloodied and bruised. Even the monstrosity of a man I had pulvorized earlier, was standing before me. The funny thing was, he didn't recognize me. None of them did. In fact, none of them even looked at me.Mixed in with the brutal men, were all the naked beautiful bodies. Then there was Belle. She was wearing the same thing she wore in the swamp earlier. I looked at all these familiar faces, and suddenly it began to rain.

People all around me began to drop, as the rain hit them. They were all falling to the ground, and the funny thing was, as they were being pelted by rain, I stood watching, without feeling a single drop. But as I looked closer, the familiar people who were on the ground, began to let loose a river of blood. Each one of them, bleeding in an uncontrollable manner.

The rain was washing away all of these memories, all of these people that I had recently encountered. I have had this vision before. I vividly remember it. There was something about the rain. It seemed to shine, and looked very bright. It wasn't until I looked closer, that I noticed the rain, was not actually rain at all. Bullets were falling from the darkness above, and they were hitting everyone I remembered, even Belle fell to the ground in the final moments of this shattered reality. When she did, my heart raced, and my face turned to terror. What is this nightmare? Finally, I felt a drop hit me. A single red drop came slithering down my hair. It traveled a path down my nose, past my lips, beyond my chin, and slid off right to the ground. Then I fell to the ground and blacked out.

He woke up! Yes, it did take me a moment, but I finally understood what that reoccuring scene was. Whenever I was in that alley, with the familiar faces, the mind woke up. There was no more need for dreams, no more need for me. I realized what I was at that very moment. "I was desired, I was sought after, I was the mental picture at the end of the rainbow, I was the fool's paradise." I muttered with a smile and a tear.

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Look at each story, each paragraph, each phrase, each word. Realize they have a deeper motive, and make what you wish of the whole. ~ alac.