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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/989869-Beau-Tocks-and-Celluloid
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by dle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Fiction · Satire · #989869
Boldly going where no fat man has gone before...
Lieutenant Celluloid stared at his view screen. His ship’s position, just this side of the moon, made the tiny blue planet look like a navy marble he had played with as a child.

“I hope our mission is a success, Crewman Beau Tocks.” The Lieutenant shook his head. “I remember the good old days, you know. When children actually played outside and adults would ride bikes or walk to the store.”

Crewman Tocks looked bemused at the lieutenant's “old-school” ramblings.

“Why, sir, would anyone want to go outside with the sun beating down on you, making you sweat? And all those bugs! The new cyber gear can take you anywhere you want to go. It can allow you to do anything you want to do. I don’t understand it, sir. I really don’t.”

The lieutenant sat in his chair and propped his head in his hands. “That’s the whole problem right there, Crewman.”

The two of them stared at the view screen in silence for a moment.

“Is our course set for Venus?”

“Yes, sir.”

The lieutenant tapped a few buttons on his info screen and read through his detailed orders fervently.

“They say the Venusians have the key...” the lieutenant's words trailed off.

“The key to what, sir?”

“To saving our fat little planet!" The lieutenant rubbed a chubby thigh. "Rumor has it they hold the secret to permanent weight loss, my boy!"

Crewman Tocks raised an anxious eyebrow and walked over to Lieutenant Celluloid. He lifted the back tails of his flight jacket and turned his rear towards the lieutenant.

“So, sir – do you think they could do something about this?”

“Yes, my young crewman. Yes, I believe they can.”

The crewman promptly returned to his post. “Shall I prep the engines for hyper-speed, sir?”

“Full speed ahead!”

word count: 300
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