I hate how I love you

I've spent weeks trying to avoid all the hurt I've been feeling, when you don't call me. I hate you so much, but this hate is like no other, where I could just leave you behind and live my life with another.This hate is fueled by my love. I hate how I can't stop loving you. I hate how your words can effect my emotional stability. My insides are all tangled with aggrivation.The tears that I shed, are tears of frustration.My sane mind lets me know it would be best to just let you go, but my actions show that I am attracted to you. I'm nervous for our next meeting, cuz I must ask you questions that I've been avoiding.I've let it drag on too long with my ignorance that is no longer strong. I've used all my emotional strength, to keep a tight grip, to keep you in my life. My weakining hands bleed because they don't want to stop holding on. People yell at me to just give up this tug of war game, that I will never win. But, my stubborness wont let me live. To live a life without you seems like it would be impossible to do. I'm hooked on you, but your not willing to reel me in. Dangling in pain from your non-existent phone calls. I wish you could realize we need eachother. To be able to live our lives we need one another.