\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/971365-Burned
Item Icon
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Relationship · #971365
A woman searching for love in all the wrong men.
I know this poem has some bad spots. I'm just not sure how to fix them. Feedback on where the weakpoints are and how I might fix them would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

---------------------------------------------

The sun’s coming up on mainstreet,
Greets a lonely woman in an empty bed.
His car’s gone from the driveway,
But the pillow bears the imprint of his head.
It was a wild night of passion,
A live wire and his worldly prey.
But the morning after is empty,
And all she wants is to hide away.

Twenty years of waiting,
Like a princess in a tower.
Hair dangling for every passing prince
Whose promises all went sour.
So many men have had her,
And left her with the sun,
And every time hope rose again,
Thinking maybe he’s the one.

The dusty walls of pool halls
Hold whispered words and lies
Made leaning over thread-bare felt--
She’ll take him home tonight.

The light comes through the curtains
So intense it scalds her eyes,
So she turns her back on the daylight,
And can’t find the will to cry.
She hates the empty mornings
That mock her in her groggy haze.
But she finds no peace in remembering last night…
His smooth words and potent gaze.
She can’t remember when the tables turned.
And it’s funny how the girl gets burned.
© Copyright 2005 Adea Certe (adeacerte at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/971365-Burned