Consperacy? is it or isn't it.

I was just doing my job at Walmart, sitting at the customer service counter when all of a sudden this weird girl who was wearing under wear on her head, a towel around her neck, and boxer shorts over her jeans came and stood up on the counter. as I went to get her off she grabbed the the little P.A thinggy and proceeded to say,

"Friends, People, Walmart shoppers desist in your shopping and lend me your ears."
a bunch of people stopped what they were doing and looked over at the customer service counter.

"Miss please give me the P.A and get off of the counter." I said. politely.
"Your cell phone lines have been tapped by the S.S.O.I.T.N!" she exclaimed paying no heed to me.

"S.S.O.I.T.N?" asked some Collage kid who was standing in line at one of the self check outs.
"Yes the S.S.O.I.T.N, has tapped the lines of your cell phones by orders of the Government so that they can survey your every move!" responded the weird girl through the P.A.

"What exactly is the S.S.O.I.T.N? What does it stand for?" asked a middle agged woman from some where in the womens clothing isle.
"Why the Secret Society Of Ill Tempered Ninjas, of course!"

"Miss you really need to get off of the counter now." I said rather annoyed.
"You there, with the 15 small children, go now the government is here!" she said pointing out a hispanic woman with 15 little kids around her. the hispaninc woman looked at her like she was nuts, then the weird girl added,
"Hoy, Usted con el quince ninos! Va ahora, porque el governmento estan Aqui!"

the hispanic woman now looked at her like she was insane rather than just plain nuts, then I said,
"Miss I really need you to give me the P.A now."
"Says who and who's army?!" she said as she turned around and looked down at me.
"seriously my manager is probably on the way right now and..."

before I even finished she crouched down and looked me in the face with an even weirder expression and said. "sent by who, the government!"

I was getting really agitated by now but managed to stay calm and say,
"look, just give me the P.A, walk out that door and warn the people at... K-mart or some thing."

"P.A shmea." she said "what does P.A even stand for? Pirate assasins of the CIA."
I was contemplating how to answere this beacause I didn't even know what it stood for.

"What exactly do you hope to accomplish from this little escapade any way." I asked as she stood back up.
"Accomplish?! I am here only to warn all of you of the trectchery of the government so we may lead a mob of angery melodramatic citizens to Washington so that we may conqure the S.S.O.I.T.N and put an end to their reign of tyrany."

there was a silence after she said this then some little kid said, "hey funny lady, how much are the M&M's?"
after the little kid said this the weird girl grabbed the package of M&M's out of her hand and said as she shook the package.
"This here is living proof of the government's ruthlessness in their desire to lead a zombie hord against Sweeden!"

"Why would the Government want to lead a hord of Zombies against Sweeden?" asked a middle aged comic book nerd.
"how should I know, the resoning behind their conspiracy's is privalaged information, not easily begotten by revolutionary's such as my self."

I was about to ask her to get off the counter again but before I could open my mouth the Hispanic woman said,
"Repitan en Espanol porfavor.
"No se,..."
she started repeating what she had just said in spanish but I tuned it out, trying to think of what to do. but then she went on ranting again.

"It's not just about Zombies and Sweeden, the Government's conpercy's are all around us!" she exclaimed as she Jumpped off the counter and grabbed a tub of Lincoln logs from the shelf accross from me.
"these Lincoln logs for example, are a consperacy." she dropped those and picked up a package of Playdough "this here Playdough, and that there wall are both consperacy's!" she shouted as she threw the playdough behind her back and pointed at one of the walls.

"Yes, Yes we get it every thing is some sort of Government consperacy." I said thank full to at least have her off of the counter.
"If it's not a consperacy of the Governmrnts its one of the IRS, CIA, FBI, or the board of education!"

"What manor of consperacy could the board of education be planning!" asked a buiseness man from some where in the store.
"Who knows but the IRS, CIA, and the FBI other than the President himself."
the weird girl continued.

"Now sing with me!" she proclaimed
"I hate the Government the Government hates you and me
Oh I hate the Government, the Government stole my grocerys and shut off my T.V."

She oddly enough left the store as she sang this song and marched over to the Target accross the street. I cleaned up the mess she had made while every one confussedly went on about their buisiness.

some time later though close to the end of my shift she came running back in and stood up on the counter again and said, "The government is upon us, The Government is upon us; Lamigra, Lamigra El governmento es aqui!"

Then as if the day couldn't get any weirder 2 guys in black suits with black sunglasses on and ear peices tackled her off of the counter as a bunch of illegal immigrants and one Scottsmen, three Russians, 5 Indonesians and a partridge in a pair tree ran out of the store.

the two guys led the Girl to a black SUV with Goverment plates on it and drove off.