Make it on my Own

The Move

The exhausting forty minute long cab ride came to an end, the driver turned and smiled at me. “44300 Clearview Drive, is this it?”
“Uhm...yeah...this is it.”I stuttered.
The curved driveway winded around to a red brick house with beige siding, the lawn was neatly manicured; the smell of fresh trimmed grass was in the air. I stood back and looked at the house, I hadn’t been here in years, from the beautiful gardens, nice cars and huge houses I could learn to like this place.
“Really nice neighborhood.” He said, followed by a toothy grin.
“Yeah, it looks nice.” I replied, pulling my large tan duffle bag from the backseat. “Here we go.” I said to myself.
The driver lugged the rest of my bags to the door. I gave him a fifty dollar bill, and slowly walked up the path. He backed out of the driveway and peeled off down the long street. I let out a long deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
I heard a small dog yelping at the door, the door swung opened and there stood my Aunt Charmaine, she looked exactly as I had remembered; she was tall, heavyset with light brown skin and those infamous Port family hazel eyes and auburn hair.
Aunt Charmaine, my mom’s sister - three years older. The two of them hadn’t really kept in touch, mostly speaking on holidays and some birthdays. My aunt married a wealthy doctor and had three children, one of which is away at Harvard Law. My mom and her lost connection shortly after my aunt married my uncle Thurgood and his money, many said it was jealousy, maybe that was true but my mother thought Aunt Charmaine always had her nose in the air. She acted like she was too good to be a part of the Port family, and ashamed of her Philadelphia roots when she up and moved to a big, beautiful house in a tiny New Jersey town.
“Hey sweetheart!” She screamed. “Look at how beautiful you are.”
I forced a smile, and walked inside the house. It was beautiful, hard-wood floors, expensive paintings covered the wall, there were hundreds of family portraits, a huge plasma television was on the family room wall, surround sound speakers, a built in wall unit fulled with DVD’s, CD’s and books. The furniture in the family room was hunter green leather, with cream accent pillows, glass end tables and cream colored area rug.
The tiny dog jumped at me. My Aunt picked her up. “That’s family Porschie.” She whispered. “Behave.”
“She’s cute.” I smiled, petting her tiny head.
“Yea, she’s my baby, come on sweet's let me show you your room.” My aunt grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs, and down a long hallway to a tiny guest room at the opposite end of the house. “This is your room, it’s only temporary, your uncle hasn’t had a chance to paint your room, so this will have to do for right now.”
“Oh it’s fine, thanks for letting me stay.” I said, looking around the room.
Inside the room was a twin size bed with a blue plaid bedspread thrown across it, the bed was pushed against the wall near a tiny window, against the opposite wall was a cherry wood dresser and a 19" television placed on top. There wasn’t much room for anything else.
“You get settled in, bring your things up and unpack and I’ll be back around to talk with you. I just can’t miss my soaps. If any of your bags are too heavy, your cousin or uncle will bring them up.” She smiled, squeezed me close to her and left, with her puppy securely in her arms.
I dragged all the bags into the room, I nearly fell down the stairs- twice, but refused to be a burden, so I did everything myself. I wondered what sense it made to unpack if this wasn’t my room but I
didn’t want to bug my aunt so I just continued unpacking quietly. The room was cramped and hot, so I opened the tiny window that was conveniently over my bed and laid down, I closed my eyes and a image of my mother’s warm face flashed into my head, just as quickly as I laid down I was back on my feet again. My heart was pounding and I had to take long deep breaths to restore my normal breathing.
“Hey.”
I spun around and there was my cousin, Melanie standing at the door; she was seventeen, only one year older than me. I remember idolizing her when we were younger, she was everything I always wanted to be; a spoiled, rich kid, with lots of friends and she was extremely pretty.
Today she was dressed in a pair of light blue tight jeans, a light green tank top, her auburn hair was cut in layers and sat neatly on her shoulders, her lips were full and covered by a light, pink shade of gloss, her caramel complexion was smooth as silk.
“Oh you scared me, hi Melanie.” I replied.
“I’m sorry, and call me Mel. I thought you were busy unpacking I didn’t expect you to be asleep.” She walked in and sat down on the bed.
“I wasn’t asleep, just a little tired and hot from unpacking.”
“Oh, it’s like a dungeon near this end and besides mom is going through “the change” so you’ll have to learn to adjust to her and her weather changes.” She giggled.
“I’ll remember that.” I smiled.
“Please do, because she has a fit if someone even looks at that damn thermostat.”
I smiled, and opened my last suitcase.
“You have a lot of stuff, need any help?”
“No, thanks this is my last one.” I answered. “I saw that you guys have a pool, I must’ve left my swimsuit.”
“I have plenty.”
“Great.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, you?”
“A few.” She giggled again, and it was already beginning to annoy me, two more years of this? “So you really don’t have a boyfriend back in Philly?”
“Nope.” The truth was I did, well actually an ex he and I broke it off when I found out I was moving out here. I wasn’t to keen on the long distant relationship deal.
“So we’re going to have to find you one...or two or three.” Melanie said. “Well you’re my kin, so they’ll love you.”
“Do you have a license?”
“No, my mom...I was going to take the test but never really got around to it, I just turned sixteen three months ago anyway.”
“Oh wow, I had my license on my sixteenth birthday. I told my parents I was not waiting one day past then, that’s my Mercedes in the garage, it’s a year old so my dad is going to trade that one in soon.”
“It must be nice to drive a Benz.”
“It’s okay, all my friends have them so I want something else, ya know it’s so lame to have the same thing that everyone else has.”
“I don’t know, I’d be happy to drive a hooptie.”
“Pssh, oh my God are you serious?”
I laughed. “Yeah.”
“Oh.” She looked at me and frowned, “Hmm, well me and some friends are supposed to be hanging out at a friends house, they all heard that you were coming to live with us and can’t wait to meet you, you’re going to come right?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t really slept in a while, I’d rather stay in and sleep.”
“Oh I always remembered you as being the fun one.” Melanie frowned.” So you’re going.”
“Fine.” I threw up my hands.
“Great, I have some things to do, so I’ll probably be around, get comfy and welcome. I’m really glad you’re here, really.” She smiled and ran off.
I was beginning to feel a little more at ease, and I knew meeting some people my age would make me feel even better, this wasn’t going to be half as bad I thought.
Once I finished, I piled my empty suitcases in the bottom of the closet and sprawled across the bed, it felt so good to be able to just relax, I hadn’t realized but I’d been there for over two hours and my aunt Charmaine hadn’t come back to talk to me and I wasn’t too sure if I should go find her. I opted against it, kicked off my shoes and laid down to rest.
“Chanel, Chanel! Sweetie wake up.”
I opened my eyes, there was my aunt hovering over me. “Chanel, chile are you pregnant?”
“Uhm no.” I said, surprised by her question.
“Well why did you have to think about it?”
I sat up on the side of the bed, and wiped my eyes. I wondered where all this was coming from. “You surprised me with that question, I’m not pregnant.”
“Oh..Mel said you were asleep when she came in and now you’re sleeping now. Unless you’re a cat or a baby, I think you’re pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant, really I’m not.” I assured her, I didn’t know where the question came from, but I was quite sure it wouldn’t be the end of it.
“Since you’re going to be staying here I’m going to have to learn to trust you and hope that you can be one hundred percent honest with me, but since you are going to be staying here and starting school in a few weeks we need to get you a physical exam anyway and I don’t know your mom’s views on birth control but I put both my daughters on it on the fourteenth birthday and if you aren’t using them already, we’re going to get you on the pill too.”
The truth was I wasn’t pregnant, and I knew that for sure because my mom made it very clear to me that she would make my life would be a living hell if I got pregnant before eighteen, and luckily my boyfriend Darien was cool with waiting, so there was absolutely no way. I didn’t really see the need to force me to get on the pill, but again I wasn’t going to be a burden, so I didn’t state my opposition.
“So how is everything so far?” She said, trying to change to subject
“Great, I really appreciate this. Thanks.”
“You are welcome. Are you hungry?”
“Actually, yeah I guess I didn’t have a chance to realize it.” I said.
“Good, Thurgood is on his way and he wants to take all of us out for dinner, change into some more...” She pulled my black top of my shoulder and frowned. “Uh more, classy.”
“Okay.”
Living in Philly, I never needed classy or dressy clothes, the nicest restaurants I went to were T.G.I.Friday’s, and that was jeans and a nice blouse; if that.
“If you don’t have anything, you can ask Mel she practically throws clothes away and with you here she won’t have to, it’s like giving to charity.” She snickered. “You mama never did have very good taste when it came to the finer things in life.”
I could see what my mom couldn’t stand her, not even five minutes with her and I was already a charity case.
“Mel! Come on in here.” She called, she stood in front of me with a huge smile on her face. “We’ll fix this.”
“What mom?” Melanie snapped.
“Your cousin is having a crisis.” She snickered again. “She needs something nice to wear to dinner, your dad wants us all to sit down and get to know each other again.”
“Mom, I am not going. Me and my friends have already made plans, we can get to know each other here.” She said, with her hand firmly placed on her hip, she was not about to give in.
“Mel, your dad really wants us all to have a nice dinner and celebrate Chanel coming to live with us.”
“And where is Junior?” She asked.
“Thurgood is out with some friends, he’s not going to be able to go, I just figured that since you were here that we could go tonight.”
“No, mom I’m not in the mood to go out with you guys, I already invited Chanel to hang out with me and my friends, so just call daddy and tell him to change the date.”
“Fine Mel, but you call your father .” She held up her hands and walked out of my bedroom.
“Chanel sometime you have to put her in her place.” She giggled. “My mom can be a real bitch, just ignore her. I’m going to jump in the shower and change, you still wanna hang out right?”
“Uh, yeah sure.”
“Alright, be ready in about twenty.” She said as she walked out the room.
I sat back on the bed, and look around the tiny room, a warm tear slid out the corner of my eyes and down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, staring around the room I so badly wanted to be back home, in my own comfort zone, place where I safe and felt I could be me, instead I was stuck in this tiny room with people I really didn’t even know.

Melanie backed out of the driveway and onto the deserted street, it was still pretty light out and there weren’t any children running around, no adults talking amongst themselves, no loud music, no cars screeching through the streets - nothing; it was as if we were the only people who existed in the world in that moment.
“I need some beer, do you drink?” Melanie asked, scrambling around in her purse.
“No, I don’t.” I frowned, thinking of my mother. “Don’t and won’t.”
“Hmm, well I guess we can have fun without alcohol.” She laughed loudly to herself, “I don’t know how though.”
“Where are we going?” I finally figured it would be smart to have some kind of idea, since I only brought twenty bucks out with me.
“Well first I’m going to pick up my girl Tracey and then we’re going to my friend Justin’s house.”
“A guy?”
“Uhm yeah, he’s cool and he practically has his own place and some cutie pies as friends.” She answered. “You’re going to need a boyfriend to help pass the time out here.”
“I’m not really looking for a boyfriend right now.”
“Oh Chanel, you’re going to have to loosen up some, you’re not looking but you need one.”
“I’m just not into that right now. I just got here and I’m not trying to focus on boys I start school soon and that’s my main concern, graduating.”
“Fine.”
The car fulled with silence for the ten minute ride to Tracey’s house, her house wasn’t as big as my Aunt’s, but it was big. Melanie didn’t need to step foot out of the car; as she pulled up a tall, thin, Hispanic female came running out wearing little jean shorts and a halter top, her full, curly brown hair bouncing behind her. She ran over to the passenger seat. Through tinted windows I guess she couldn’t see that I was already sitting there. She reached to open the door and found it locked, she smashed her face against the window, and Mel opened it with the automatic switches on the door plate.
“Hey Trace, this is my cousin Chanel, Chanel this is my girl Trace.”
“Hi.” I said, lifting my hand to wave, before she responded she yanked the door open, nearly making me fall from the car.
“You don’t mind if you hop in the back, I hate the backseat.” She giggled.
“Uhm alright.” I said, slowly getting out the car.
“Thanks sweetie.” She said, patting my head.
I wanted to haul off and smack her, but that wouldn’t look good. When she probably didn’t mean anything by it.
“Yeah sure.” I mumbled, as I climbed in back.
“Nice to meet you Nelly-Nel.” She sang. “Mel’s told me so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too.”
“You’re going to absolutely love it here, I heard you’re from North Philadelphia right?” She asked peeking at me in the rear-view mirror.
“Yeah that’s right.”
“Whoa, you must’ve had a rough life, I heard North Philly is worse than Camden, is that true?”
“I wouldn’t know.” I answered rudely.
“Oh well hope you enjoy it here.” She frowned and turned on the stereo.
After another twenty minute drive, we pulled up at a huge white house, surrounded by a black metal gate, Mel poked her head out of the drivers side window and pressed the lit green button. A deep, male voice quickly came on the intercom.
“Yo, who dis?” He asked.
“It’s Mel, boy open up.”
“Who you wit?”
“Just open the damn gate boy!”
The box buzzed and the gate slowly opened. Once we were inside, Mel parked beside a huge H2 Hummer, we all stepped out. A tall, chocolate guy with long black braids greeted us with a warm smile.
“Hey ladies.” He said.
“Don’t pretend to have manners.” Mel giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her closed and kissed her neck.
“I do have manners, that’s how I nabbed you.”
“That car sitting in the driveway is how you nabbed me, nothing to do with you.” She giggled.
“Mmm hmm, I know what to do to keep you around.” He chuckled, leaning his mid-section into hers.
“Stop.” She giggled, playfully pushing him away.
“Come on, everybody is inside.” Justin said, pulling her by the hand. “Damn where are my manners, how are you?” He asked, looking over his shoulder at me.
“I’m good. You?”
“You’re Mel’s cousin right?”
“Yeah.”
“Her name is Chanel, Chanel this is my baby Justin.”
“Nice to meet you Chanel, and welcome to the tightest spot in Jersey.” He held out his hand, displaying his house like a Barker Beauty.
“Nice to me...” I said, before Tracey cut me off.
“And I don’t get a lousy hello.” She frowned, poking out her bottom lip.
“Sorry Trace, what up.”
There was at least six guy seating around a huge television, playing a football game on Xbox game system. Jay-Z’s Reasonable Doubt cd blared, the smell of marijuana and beer fulled the guest house, there were two large, empty pizza boxes and over a dozen empty Heineken bottles scattered on the floor.
“Hey guys.” Tracey said, trying to get some sort of validation from someone.
“Mmm, I didn’t know that there was sexy women in the house.” One of the watchers of the game said, He got up and joined us.
“Hello.” He said looking at me.
“Hi.” I mouthed back.
“I’m Anton, and you?” He was barely a inch taller than me, which wasn’t really attractive, he was extremely light brown complexion, chubby with curly brown hair and big brown eyes.
“Chanel.”
“So you’re the infamous cousin, we’ve been hearing so much about huh?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I hunched.
“How about we sit down and talk?”
“Alright.”
Tracey sat amongst the guys playing the game, and Mel and Justin shared a beer and snuggled up on the Hawaiian theme wicker sofa.
“So do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, not right now.”
“Cool, well how about me and you hang out sometime, you know to get to know each other a little better.”
“That’s sounds alright.” I answered, although I wasn’t really attracted to this guy, it wouldn’t hurt to converse with him for a bit.
“You want a beer?”
“No.”
“You smoke?”
“Nope.”
“What do you do?” He laughed nervously.
“Not much, I guess.”
“It’s cool, drinking and weed is no good anyway.”
“So why do you do it so much?” Tracey yelled across the room.
He just laughed at her, and turned his attention back to me.
“How old are you anyway?”
“Sixteen, you?”
“Nineteen, is that going to be a problem for you?” He fiddled with his fingers, and brushed his hair back.
“No, it’s alright. You’re not proposing right?” I laughed.
“Not yet.” He winked.
“Any little rugrats? I hate asking girls that, but nowadays you can’t be too sure.”
“No, no kids for me. You?”
“Nah.”

“Oh my God, it’s three o’clock.” I said, looking at my watch for the first time that night.
I was so engulfed in such an intriguing conversation with Anton that I hadn’t realized that it was getting so late, all but two of the first six had gone home and Mel was passed out on the sofa, her head in Justin’s lap and his head propped up on a pillow. Tracey was kissing and from what I could see a whole lot more, with one of the guys in a corner.
“Mel’s mom only gave you a curfew?” Anton laughed.
“Well I don’t know when Mel’s curfew is, my aunt didn’t say anything about it. I wish she hadn’t drunk so damn much.”
“Mel’s here all night some time. I don’t think she even has a curfew.”
“Really? You think I should try and wake her up?”
“Nah, she’ll be up soon. Justin’s folks should be popping up around five kicking us all out.” He laughed and sipped the hour old Heineken.
“Really?”
He laughed, I guess he noticed the nervousness in my face. “It’s just him and his dad, some night’s his dad get pissed at all the trash and snaps on us, but most nights he’s really cool.”
“Oh.”
“You want to come to my place?”
“No!” I answered quickly.
“Damn, you didn’t have to think about that, I guess some other time.”
I didn’t reply, I just hunched my shoulder.
“I have a little apartment, not too far from here. Maybe some time soon, we can chill there.”
“You live alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Must be nice.”
“It’s okay, a little lonely some time. I had a roommate, but we didn’t get along too well, so that had to end.”
“What happened?”
“Long, boring story.” He answered, putting his arm around my shoulder. “You are such a sweetie, I really do want to hang out with you again.”
“I’d like that.”
“I really had a nice time with you tonight, but I’m beat I’m going to get out of here, you sure you don’t want to come back to my place with me, you know we can chill or whatever.”
“I’m sure, I’m going to try and get Mel up and go.”
He reached out his arms for a hug, and I leaned in and he grabbed me in a warm bear hug before giving me his cell phone number.
Tracey and I struggled to get Mel into the backseat, Tracey dropped us off at my Aunt’s and walked home. I tried to balance her and get her inside hoping that my aunt and uncle were asleep and wouldn’t notice how wasted Melanie was. As I opened the front door with Mel’s keys, my uncle was sitting in the family room watching television in just his boxer shorts.
“Well hello.” He smiled.
“Um, hi.” I replied nervously.
“Well look at you.” He stood up and smiled at me. “You’ve grown up.”
I wondered if he even noticed his drunken daughter hanging on my arm, he looked at her and frowned.
“I hope she knows I’m not nursing no more God damn hangovers.” He frowned up his lips and turned to walk away. I began to take her upstairs when he walked back towards me. “Charmaine and I need to talk with you in the morning.”
“Okay.” I said, struggling to get her up the steps.
I put her in her bed, and walked to my room, without bothering to undress I slid underneath the covers and fell asleep.