The Little Things In Life

“Coffee! Coffee! My kingdom for some coffee!” Colonel Jack O’Neill slouched into the briefing room chair and pouted. Teal’c looked at him with a frown, cocking his head.

“You do not have a kingdom, Colonel O’Neill.”

“I know that!” was the disgruntled reply. Jack waved a hand over the space that, in his opinion, was missing a very important piece of equipment. “Do you see my cup of coffee anywhere?”

Teal’c looked at the empty space. “No, Col. O’Neill. Your coffee mug is not there.”

“Well, duh!” Jack stared morosely at the empty spot and heaved a sigh.

Samantha, already in the room and prepping her notes for the briefing, hid a grin. “What happened to your coffee, sir?” She looked away as Jack’s blood-shot eyes settled on her.

“Just a little thing like the timer on my coffee maker going out this morning and leaving me coffee-less. Then I overslept and didn’t have time to join the gargantuan line,” he spaced his arms far apart to indicate the length of the coffee line, “at the Java Hut for a lousy cup of coffee.”

“Indeed,” commented Teal’c. “If the coffee is ‘lousy’, why would you want to drink it?”

“Because it’s coffee,” Jack growled back.

“Uh, what about the commissary?” Daniel Jackson took a seat across the table from Jack and studied his notes for a moment before noticing the silence and glancing up. “What?”

“The commissary is ‘out’.” The last word was spoken with heavy feeling.

“Out? Out? How can the commissary be out of coffee?” Daniel looked around the table. Sam shrugged her shoulder while Teal’c maintained his usual stoic expression and silence.

“Easily,” snarled O’Neill, “if you consider all the people who actually got in on time this morning. Before me. And counting the fact that some overeager klutz was trying to juggle five armfuls of crap and pour coffee at the same time, and managed to knock over two of the coffee carafes and break three others.”

O’Neill tipped his chair back, slinging a forearm over his face. “Coffee, coffee everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”

Sam almost giggled over the pitiful lament. “Sir, maybe you could drink a soda if you really need the boost.”

O’Neill looked askance at her with one eye from beneath his arm. “I don’t ‘need the boost’, Carter. I need the coffee!”

“It might be a good idea to stay away from soda, anyway,” Daniel said as he leafed through his notes. “The colonel on a sugar high might not be a pretty sight.”

A loud thud rang out as O’Neill sat up and slammed a fist down on the table. “Coffee!”

“Maybe a caffeine tablet,” suggested a helpful Sam. “Dr. Frasier probably has some.”

“No pills!” Jack declared emphatically. “Just coffee!” A predatory look came over his face and he pointed a finger at Daniel. “What about your office coffee maker?”

“What?” Daniel glanced up at him, then back to his notes. “Oh, no, sorry. I, uh, took it home temporarily. My old one at home is on the fritz.” When he actually felt the temperature around him drop, he pulled his eyes from his notes to meet the frozen gaze of O’Neill.

“Sorry, Jack.” He hunched his shoulders defensively, starting to feel a fight-or-flight sensation under the unwavering stare of the colonel. “Can’t help you.”

O’Neill actually growled, eliciting two raised eyebrows from Teal’c. General Hammond picked that moment to sweep into the briefing room, carrying two cups of coffee. Jack shot up hopefully, his nose twitching as the aroma wafted his way. He raised his eyebrows in question. “Sir? Two coffees?”

Gen. Hammond set them on the table. “There was a special at the Java Hut this morning. A two for one deal.” He shrugged. “It was actually cheaper than a single cup.”

He started to sit in his chair, but Jack stopped him. “Are you drinking both? Sir?”

“Well, no,” the General answered. “I thought maybe one of you…what the…!?”

He was startled when O’Neill let out a loud “Whoop!”, leaped up and kissed him on both cheeks before grabbing a cup and almost inhaling the hot contents.

“Thank you, sir! You’re a lifesaver!” He sat back down, both hands wrapped lovingly around the tall paper cup.

“Indeed!” agreed Teal’c.

“What in tarnation was that?” a pop-eyed red-faced Hammond demanded of the other people around the table.

“Exactly what he said, sir,” answered a grinning Sam. “A life-saving operation!”