Bad Critique

So she finally did it, she finally turned in that draft of her story. That stupid little one that she had written and revised god knows how many times. Sitting at her desk she watched her teacher thumbing through the numerous pages.
Rocking back and forth she waited nervously in her seat, doing her best to pretend to be working.
One of her friends walks by the desktop littered with hundreds of pieces of paper. With a quick nod of her head to acknowledge him she continues her act of pretending to work while slowly biting each and every nail off her fingers.
‘He has gotten through the first few pages’ she thought as she saw the dangling pages hanging from the staple that originated from a midget stapler she has had since grade school.
‘Won’t his expression ever change?’ she thought again.
The girl knew of several parts of her tale that she had weaved that were supposed to be humorous, yet still he has a look of strain on his face. Was her work that confusing to him, or was he so engulfed with her story that he couldn’t move a muscle?
A boy sits typing next to her upon her right. Tapping with fury at the ancient keys, the sounds of his fingers constantly banging again and again. The sound was driving what little sanity she had away, far away.
‘Must he always type so loud? That creep is always so loud!’ she screamed in her head. Never mind the fact that he happened to be the quietest and most polite boy in the class.
The pages her teacher had left were growing few; he was at last nearing the end. She looked down upon her hands to nibble some more on her fingernails, but there were none left!
Slamming her pencil hard upon the desktop she finally gave up trying to cover her nerves. All she could do was bury her head deep within her arms and try to focus on other things.
“Ana” someone gently poked “May we talk” her teacher said as he squatted on the tile floor.
“Sure sir” she said doing a marvelous job acting stress free.
“This story is really uhh…how do I put it? CRAP! There is no plot, the characters are cardboard and flimsy flamsy! Then you have George Bush doing the Macarena! I can’t believe you would shove this worthless waste of good paper into my hands and call it hard work! Yah know what your grade is for this?”
“ZERO? All my work is zeros to you Mr. Lessard! I can never please you can I?
“MISS MACKEY, SIT DOWN NOW!”
“No I have sat down through this long enough, and I will never sit down again, not until I have gained my rights. Not just as a student, not just as a human being, but as an American!”
“YEAH!” the class cheered as it filled with students from everywhere in the school.
“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!” Mr. Lessard called in vain, for the power of his class was greater.
“I Ana Mackey hereby promise all of you my fellow students that my war with these creatures shall never end, not until we get our JUSTICE!”
The cheers that erupted shook the whole room while poor Mr. Lessard sat under his desk, feeling his dictatorship slipping through his dirty hands.
*click*

“In local news today students at Gardiner Area High School continue their strike against the faculty. Who shall win, why the adults of course. We shall crush their futile attempts!”
One Week Later…

“In national news tonight the wave that started in a small town in Maine has spread nation wide. The children are putting up an honorable fight, but we shall prevail!
Another Week Later…

“Good day mate. In today’s world news that bloody thing that started with those bleedin yanks has reached us here in Aussie, they just won’t stop! Bloody O!”
Five Minutes Later…

“Chin gok narrokoma high! Me shon dam canna by… oh what the hell…The children have won! We are lost…lost…lost…”

At the Childrens Fedration Headquaters Gardiner Maine

“To your victory Lady Mackey”
Ana sits in a cushy chair while Michael (the hottest boy in school) delivers a toast to his queen.
“My lady” Mike says nervously
“Yes Mike”
“Might I speak plainly?
“By all means!”
“My lady, forgive me for being blunt, but I must speak my mind. I am deeply in love with you!”
“Oh really? Come tell me more”
“I have loved you since I can remember, yet in sixth grade when you told me of your feelings for me I was scared”
“Go on”
“You were just so strong and kind, I never thought I could ever be worthy enough to be at your side. I only hope my timid ness has not ruined your love for me.”
“Of course not…anything else?”
“Yeah there’s a leak on the fourth floor, would you like me to fix it?”
“Yes…Oh and Mike there is just one more thing”
“Certainly darling, anything.”
“I would like a kiss…kiss…kiss”

“I bwould wike wah kass” she mumbled at her desk. Startled by the sound of the lunch bell she awoke in a tiny puddle of drool.Quickly she wiped it off as the rest of her classmates exited the room.
“Miss Mackey, would you come here a moment please?”
“Uh yes sir, what is it you want to talk about?”
“Oh don’t you play innocent with me young lady! You know what I want to talk about?”
“Enlighten me Mr. Lessard I must be having a bit of a blonde day.”
“It’s your story, I think it was…”
‘Here it comes’ she thought
“WONDERFUL STUPENDOUS CREATIVE IMAGINATIVE! The plot was wonderfully entertaining; the characters were well developed and interesting. Then that part where you had George Bush doing the Macarena, I still have tears in my eyes! So for your accomplishments I present you with this award, and not just any award, one in your name based on your achievements. Though I daresay no one else will get it, especially not that prissy cheerleader Jamie”

“Miss Mackey are you alright?”
The room had emptied and she was still at her desk.
“Yes sir I’m fine.”
“Well anyway about your story…”
‘Oh god what now?’ she thought
“I thought it could use a little work, but all in all it was an interesting piece, I want to see it when you get those revisions done okay?”
“And George Bush?”
“Well that may be something to cut out”
“ARE YOU CHALENGING MY RIGHTS?”

THE END?