Leaving

Shaking with a heady mixture of fear and excitement she surveyed the room in which she stood. A sad but strong smile pulled her lips gently back as the memories of twenty five years played out before her eyes. Her son, crawling across the floor, then standing and preparing for his first day of school. The same little boy, face smeared with dirt and tears, shamed after a tussle with the school bully. Finally, there he was, decked out in the full uniform of a Marine, telling her he loved her and how proud he planned on makeing her.

The shelves in the room were covered in framed photographs taken ever since her little man's first breath. Before, they'd stood solemnly around his diploma, then around his boot camp graduation picture, now they surrounded a carefully folded triangle, blue spangled with white stars.

Her entire life had revolved around him. Ever since his father died, when he was only a few days old, he'd been her everything, her universe, her God. Now, one year after his death she felt the stirrings of something new, yet familiar in her spirit. A feeling she hadn't experienced in decades. It fluttered around her heart and tickled the edges of her mind and here she was, feeling as she had when she'd first left home as a teenager, acting on it.

Carefully picking up the small blue suitcase from beside her she nodded a stern, but bittersweet goodbye to the room that had seen so very much of her life. She felt the tears pushing behind her eyes, tightening her throat and chest with their depressing power. Setting her jaw she refused to cry. Refused to let the black blanket of fate weigh her down again. Straightening her shoulders she adeptly spun on her left heel and with a firm hand turned the door knob.

Taking deep, careful breaths, lest the dam should break, she inhaled the fresh pure air of a spring she would have missed. The air was refreshing, the sky bluer than it had ever appeared before, even the birds seemed to be singing in harmony this day. With a determination that had been lacking so long from her movements she began her journey. Every step lessened the pain of leaving and brought her closer to her ultimate goal, herself.