Is it safer to stay in the insanity? Or to venture outside of one's comfort? |
Nov. 24, 2004 I have strep throat And I’m smoking like a chimney How I wish I could just sleep And dream wearily But my mind it will not rest My heart cannot be at ease The same old patterns they must appease God forbid they quiet these I once thought I had found the answers In the book that Bill once wrote But now it seems I’m at a loss And alone again The clock ticking 1:38 a.m. Noone to call Nowhere to go In my mind I must rest Oh to escape these impenetrable walls and be free of this prison I have created amongst the obsession, the worry, the fear, the doubt But faith conquers all one voice says But lust will take it away says another Then reason replies “It’s only temporary” But that temporary asylum from my insanity Pus all three at ease Torn and broken No glue to hold I thought I had found the pieces Thought I was building with the right blocks Only to listen and watch my parts tear each other apart Still lost and confused Lonely and amused Aren’t I supposed to be an adult now? Or will this mental illness always follow? Oh fear, oh worry, oh regret How can I change now? And leap such a great leap on my own The insanity is safer, kinder The serenity is lonely, colder I think I could write until eternity And find all to be the same Without change there will no change be Let the change begin with me Easier said than done, you see |