Nightmare

This has to be a nightmare
I want to physically hurt myself
To mask the pain of my breaking heart
As I watch them lower you into the ground.

I can’t believe I’ll never see you again
You’ve been such an important part of my life
You’ve never just been my grandfather
But also my friend, my mentor, my role model.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing
When you had to utter those terrifying words
The words that would shatter all of our lives
“I have cancer”.

I kept telling myself you could beat it
You’ve always been the strongest person I know
Overcoming your life’s most difficult obstacles
But this was your final battle.

I only wish I had the comfort of knowing
That you lived a long and fulfilling life
I suppose that’s all anyone could want
But you were too young to die.

I wish I could have told you I loved you.
That you were always my favorite person
If only I knew when that last chance was
I never expressed how much you meant to me.

And now I don’t know what to do
Or how to get on with my life
Everything I see and do is a reminder
All I have left are my memories.

This has to be a nightmare
I now sit in front of your gravestone
And wish with all my heart and soul
That you were still alive.