I Was Running

I was running. Running away as fast as my short legs could carry me. Every so often I would glance over my shoulder to ensure that I wasn’t being followed. Even though I saw nothing behind me, I could sense that he was right on my heels and ready to pounce again. I had that terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that warned of danger. That same awful feeling that someone would get when they are alone at night right after watching an eerie horror movie. It was that same paranoia that would often haunt me at unexpected moments.

I knew what I was running from the instant that my gut instinct held up a little red flag, and my brain got the message as it ordered my legs to pick up the pace. Panic soon devoured me as everything I saw and heard frightened me. I didn’t know where I was, or who I was anymore nor did I feel like myself. It was very frustrating. I didn’t know what to do so I just kept running as fast as I could.

I had woken up that morning to a sort of click click clickclickclick sound that began to drive me crazy. I wasn’t sure what it was but no matter where I went it followed me. The clicking sounds would increase in intensity and speed, rushing past me in a big indecipherable blur. As you can imagine, this caused me confusion and fear. I no longer felt like I had control over anything. Especially not him.

He liked to bring me down with all his problems but I wouldn't listen. Then one day he attacked me. No matter how strong I was on the outside, he managed to crumple me up in his hands and toss me to the ground like a rejected wad of paper. But I would always get back up and face him again, only to receive yet another degrading blow. There was only one thing I could do, it seemed, to get rid of him but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go down that road. He loomed over me like an unwanted memory and refused to leave me alone. You could say that he haunted my very existence and I was reminded of it with every turn I made. He was always there and that wasn’t exactly a good thing. They always told me that when life gave me lemons I should make lemonade, but no amount of lemonade could dilute his effects on me.

Therefore, I’m desperate without anywhere else to turn.

All I can do now is run from him. Run and never look back. I can feel tears flowing to my eyes as I think of him. I think of how precious he is and that severing ties with him would only hurt me in the long run.

But staying in touch with him would hurt me as well.

I don’t know why he has to pick on me so much. What is his motive? I’ve never done anything to hurt him so I can’t fathom a good reason for it. I wish I could remember something– anything– that happened prior to today but my mind is a hazy, nebulous blank, taunting me with only my recent memories.

And unfortunately, those memories consist only of his teasing.

The clicking increased and seemed to go hand and hand with him down the road as I ran in the other direction. I ran in staggered lines, trying not to bump into anyone but knowing that he was following closely made that difficult. Sometimes I think that he puts these obstacles in front of me on purpose to see how I would fare and it only makes me want to slip into a deep oblivion where he could not exist.

But the only place that he does not exist is in the grave.

Yes, if I want to get rid of him once and for all then I better reserve my one-way ticket to my own spot six feet under.

I couldn’t feel my legs, then, even though I could see that they were still moving. They were going at a much slower pace but moving nonetheless. I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest like an oscillating pendulum, rocking back and forth in a gradually decreasing beat. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was quickly losing momentum and I felt as if I could pass out at any moment.

And I did.

Finally, he grabbed hold of me by the collar and dragged me down with him. I could not resist his overwhelming strength as he stapled my one-way ticket to my own eternal oblivion to my forehead and sent me away from him forever.

In that moment, the clicking ceased along with the days that he and I shared. I would never have to face the pressures of life again because he finally caught up to me and the outcome was deadly.

~~~


--Explanation if you were lost. In my own twisted mind, the clicking was supposed to represent the days as they flew by faster and faster, overwhelming her along with this 'guy'. Although, "he" didn't refer to a human; rather, it was Life. The struggles of Life finally caught up to her as the days rushed by too quickly for her to catch her balance. And it "killed" her. --