See me, I am HERE!

{ My daughter has had epilepsy for the past 16 of her 24 yrs.
This is what I see when I look deeply into her eyes, what I know she feels.
Many others with various disabilities suffer the same way.
Please See Them as well! }


SEE ME ,I AM HERE!
My silent voice screams out

Tho epilepsy has robbed me of speech
Seizures stealling away my memory
Wiping away what I know, part of me,
I have to re-learn, re-learn again and again,
Its not my fault, I cannot stop it,
I try, I really try, but it is beyond me
For hardly a Word-whisper remains

One look, you can tell I am not normal
Oh I know, I see it in your eyes
Year after year I have seen your discomfort
Seen you hurriedly turn away,
Seen pity froth in your eyes
Blaming me for making you embarassed

I stumble over words a small child can say with ease
My mind is still here, thoughts, deep feelings exist
I stutter, struggle vainly to be accepted, understood
Your patience flies away, you "fill in" my missing words
The wrong words, not what I mean
Brushing me off, ignoring my frustrations
You cannot wait to hear me, yet I try so hard
,
Oh I used to cry, I was so angry, so hurt by you
I still tried, you never heard me,
But not anymore
You refuse me,
Now I refuse you
I will hide in my shell, be silent, it hurts less
Do you feel comfortable now I am mute?

Often you talk as if don't exist
Like I am not alive,
All, while I stand right beside you
"She this...", "She that..."
Am I invisible, Am I beneath contempt?

SEE ME, I AM HERE!

I am still alive, a person
Full of emotions, locked in a sealed mesh case
Clawing to get out. striving to breathe
Wanting to be seen, be normal
I am here, yes here, yet very alone
You assign me to living death with your dismissal

Don't speak more loudly to me,
Do you understand? It is no solution!
Slower without condescension, patience would help
I wish you could know, see, feel, understand just a bit
Not the pain but the Life that throbs in my veins
My cares, my dreams, my tears

Give me Time, patience
Is that so hard,
Treat me as an equal Stranger
Listen with your heart, Hold my hand,
Speak slowly with care

Pity me not, I feel it, I live your pity
It floods over me, washing me in silent despair
Tearing my heart away, filling me with anguish
Shattering my soul and enlarging the black void within me

SEE ME! I AM HERE!