Your like a Stain

Your like a stain.
Easy to wash away,
but only around the edges.

I wish you could leave,
find someone else to love,
even if it means forgetting me.

I wish I could be with you,
always at your side,
glowing from your mere prescence.

You infiltrate my waking thoughts,
you enter my every dream,
even the bad ones.

How dare you make me feel this way,
dragging me through this mass chaos,
our own Hell.

I love your eyes,
your mouth,
your body.

I need you to keep me together,
to complete me as I've never been,
never felt.

But I'll push you away,
no matter how hard you push back,
until my weakening resolve snaps.

Please don't push,
I'm afraid I'll give in,
and hurt you.

But I need you to push,
I don't want you to give in,
no matter what.

I hate myself.
For my confusion.
For my dreams and failures.

I'll fail you,
and you'll be hurt,
and I'm selfish for wanting you.

Love me,
or hate me,
I'll dread your answer.