The Bear and the Red Sock

A bear spotted a red sock on the forest floor and he wondered. “Can I eat that red sock?” He though to himself “It certainly looks the right colour” He sniffed the red sock, it didn't smell right though. He nudged the it with the tip of his nose. It didn't move, so it wasn't alive, but was it alright to eat? With a flip of his tongue, the sock was in his mouth.

All of a suddenly his mouth was dry, “This doesn’t taste right." he thought to himself. smacking his lips together "In fact if feels quite wrong"

“But I am so hungry, it’s been a long winter, I must eat something. Perhaps I can force myself to swallow it” The bear leaned his head back and found that the sock was lodged in his throat. He doubled over gagging, the sock still stuffed in too far to come out.

He saw a log on the ground. He stumbled forward, banging his belly on the log. A beaver popped out wondering who or what was causing all the ruckus. The beaver found it was a large bear trying to be intimate with the log he lived in.

The beaver yelled, "Hey! What do you think you're doing with my log, I'll have you know this is a family log!"

The bear saw he beaver yelling at him and decided to ask for help. 'Achhh, ccchhhking'.

The beaver didn't want to have anything to do with the dirty bear so he turned away, "When I turn around I want you gone or I'll call in the SBF" (special beaver force)

The beaver didn’t understand him so the bear decided to take matters into his own paws. He lifted the beaver up by the tail and held him up to his mouth so that the beaver could see the sock.

All in a panic the beaver started shrieking 'Honey! HONEY! Call the SBF, call the SBF! He's trying to eat me!"

The bear extended his jaws wide open, and then he lowered the angry beaver into his mouth. He was careful not to bite into him, even though his instincts told him otherwise.

Kicking and struggling, the beaver fought the bear bravely, trying to escape his powerful jaw and claws.

“This is it”, he thought. “I only moved into this log yesterday, and now this. I knew I should’ve settled in a better community. I have lived a good life, but I haven’t built a single dam--- so my life isn’t worth a dam”

Suddenly from the trees above ropes fell to the ground. The ropes formed around the bear, within seconds the bear was tied down and surrounded by angry beavers. They were wearing fur tight black body suits with so many pockets you couldn’t possibly count them all, struggling to lift his head the bear saw that they also wore wrap around sunglasses. He though to himself, "Those are so out of fashion, where did these guys learn to dress?"
“I don’t suppose they will listen to reason” pondered the bear. “I look pretty guilty with this beaver in my mouth”

The sergeant took charge of the situation. "Don't worry Mr Beaver, we're professionals and we know how to deal with homicidal bears. We're specially trained and I passed top of my class." His chest puffed out with pride.

The sergeant approached the bear. He looked at the bear, the bear didn’t seem to be struggling, instead the bear seemed to be turning blue. "That's an unhealthy shade of fur sir, I suggest you eat more wood, it's an important part of your diet."

“Sir,” interrupted a junior sergeant, “he seems to be choking on something.”

"Of course he is junior sergeant, can't you see he has a beaver in his mouth. Honestly what are they teaching these new cadets” He shook his head in wonder.

“Sorry Sir, It will never happen again” he saluted and fell back into ranks

"Now to retrieve this beaver. Corporal!" A sly looking beaver marched forward; he had a very nice six pack, especially for a beaver.

The corporal assembled a squad of beavers, each armed with high tech sticks and stones. They approached the bear from all sides. The bear groaned.

From inside the bear's jaws Mr Beaver let out a squeak and yelled.

The Team of beavers used the sticks to unhinge the bear’s mouth wide open. Then they jumped on the bears back with all the force they could muster, surely this bear would cough up Mr. Beaver soon.

Unfortunately they hadn’t realised that the net over the bear was also what was keeping Mr Beaver from popping out.
“Sir,” the junior sergeant began again, “I think the net is preventing Mr. Beavers escape.”
"Don't interrupt junior, I know what I'm doing!! You've already failed to contribute today!"

”Corporal, remove the netting near his mouth.” shouted the Sergeant “We need to give Mr. Beaver a way to escape.”

The junior sergeant walked in a huff, he never got any credit for his ideas.

On the eleventh attempt Mr Beaver shot out of the bear's mouth like a circus cannon. It would have been a bad if not for the Sergeant being in the way. Mr Beaver held in his hand a strange red ball of wool.

The SBF all screamed in triumph, Mr Beaver had gotten his revenge by pulling out the bears tongue, or so they thought.

The Sergeant was knocked out. Mr Beaver sat on top of him in a dazed state of mind.
After gasping a few times, the bear lumbered up onto his hind legs, but the SBF thought his tongue had been pulled out, so they feared nothing from him and dashed over to their sergeant.

The bear waved his paw at the SBF, and then he sauntered off into the woods. I am still hungry, he thought to himself.

Once the truth was discovered and exposed by Mr Beaver and the Junior Sergeant, the SBF was disbanded for failure to comprehend insignificant situations correctly. All the animals of the forest shunned them, but the sly corporal formed his own group called the SUPER BEAVERS. They fought crime wherever they saw it and were generally adored by no one.

A hunter came out of the lake. He had decided that this forest had no animals to hunt and decided to go for a swim. Now that he was done, he put on his clothes lying next to a tree. He was almost finished when he noticed a red sock missing. He scratched his head, “It’s only a sock, and I can get another one.”