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This diary chronicles the life of O'Rita Olivarez, a Migrant Hen from North Mexico. |
| [Introduction]
This area will house the diary of O'Rita Olivarez, a migrant hen from Northern Mexico.
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| April 10th Dear Diary, Sorry it's been a few days, but I had to hide you under my nest. Horacio has been on a rampage, and threatened us with slaughter if we don't produce more eggs. We all considered protesting, and even a strike, but we are too afraid of him. You are the only one I trust with my inner-most feelings. Thank goodness I have you. Anyway, Horacio is force-feeding us and stands over our nests day in and day out. He is under some sort of egg deadline, and he's taking it out on us. I am afraid that he'll notice that I have you, so I am only writing at night. Dear Diary, I must find a way out of this place for myself, and for my fellow chickens. I have to go now - it's almost time for Horacio's final walk-through. Cluck, O'Rita |
| April 13th, 11:56 a.m. Dearest Diary, Tragedy! Since the last time I wrote, Horacio went on a rampage. He discovered Kesi's letters from Ignacio (the burro) and slaughtered her in front of all of us, warning us against any attempt at escape. Thankfully, Kesi had already written to Ignacio on my behalf, and he knows to send his answer only to me. My biggest fear is that Horacio will intercept the communication and my fate will be the same as my mother's before me. I only pray that I have the strength to go through with it... Amore, O'Rita |
| Dear Diary, I almost got caught trying to make my way to Alejandra's stall. But, once I got there, I was able to tell her my plan and I persuaded her to help! She is willing to let us ride her to Ignacio's, and she will stay with Ignacio while we make our escape to the U.S.! I couldn't be happier! Wait until I tell Guadalupe and Flora! They'll be so excited! More later, Diary. Horacio is coming. Love, O'Rita |
| Dear Diary, The time approaches! In three days, Flora, Guadalupe, Alejandra, and myself will make our way out of Horacio's evil grip! We are bubbling over with excitement, but know that our only chance at making this work lies in our ability to hide our feelings. We try not to spend much time together, instead sending secret messages in chicken scratch. Thank goodness I'm a chicken and there isn't much to pack! Love, 'O' |
| April 23rd, 5:00 a.m. FREEDOM! We just stopped for a break on our way to Ignacio, and I had to write! It was glorious. Alejandra escaped by kicking a loose board in her paddock, and we all snuck out of our hen house, pretending to be taking a midnight stroll. Soon, Alejandra snuck up next to us, and we FLEW THE COOP! We jumped on her back, and we ran like the wind! It was amazing to feel the wind in my feathers, the dew collecting on my beak. I have been energized! We are going to get going in a few minutes - we have many miles to travel, and Ignacio is waiting! I hope that old goat was sleeping when we left. So far, no one is after us, though. I can't wait to reach Laredo! Love, SenoRita |
| April 24, 4:15 a.m. Dear "D", Today we arrive at Ignacio's ranch. Juanita has made me so nervous that I can't find a way to regain the feeling of freedom and happiness that was with me just hours ago. I hope that Ignacio doesn't decide to kick us all out of his place once he realizes that we have a stow-away. But what can we do??? OOOOOH, that Juanita makes me SO MAD! I guess we can't do anything about it before then. I wonder if they have a pinata shaped like a goat? Love, O'Rita |
| April 25th, 4:18 p.m. Dear DIARY! WE ARE HERE! Finally, in AMERICA! The flight was hideous - they stuffed me into an Ostrich pinata, and Juanita definitely fit into the Bison. Poor Guadelupe and Flora were stuffed into pinatas shaped like a donkey and a duck (poor Flora!), but we landed safely! Unfortunately, I am still in my pinata, because we haven't had a chance to break out of them without being noticed. I have poked holes in the bottom so my legs can poke out and made eye holes so I can see. I think I will try to walk a little distance before I bust out of this pinata so that I don't draw attention. I hope the others think that way, too! Well, I am going to wait a little longer and start to make my escape! I can't believe we're actually here! Love, o'RITA! |
| April 29 Diary! You'll never believe it! Apparently, Juanita caught on to our little plan, and followed us to our get-away vehicle. She then jumped on the next truck out of Laredo, herself. Unfortunately, it was a regular pickup-truck, and she flew out of the back of it when they hit a bump. I think she may be dead. I don't know, but it looked pretty bad. We never meant to hurt her, but at least we know she won't be bothering us anymore... The girls are settling down for the night, making nests out of whatever they can find here in the truck. I think we are heading through Texas toward Oklahoma, but I'm not sure. Maybe we're going to Louisiana! Home of the Cajuns! I guess we'll know when we stop and emerge from hiding. Until then, COCK A DOODLE DOO! Love, O'Rita |
| Pac-a-Sac. I think she wants to try a hamburger. I don't know... Hopefully it isn't as strange as it sounds. I am looking forward to trying this thing called Hamburger. I wonder if it comes from pigs? Anyway, I'll write more after I try it! Love, O'Rita P.S. I LOVE ENID! Maybe we'll stay! |
| May 4, 11:43 a.m. Hello, Diary! Well, it was a hard morning, I wanted to remain nestled, because I had a HELL of a hangover. Our ride has pulled out. We were off to Tulsa, or so we thought. But we have made a detour! Apparently, since something called a Waukomis is only a few miles from Enid, we are going to drop by. Today is the grade school re-enactment of the land run on the football field, and we are going to participate! I hope I get picked for a nice covered wagon! This is the first time live chickens have ever participated! We are making poultry history in the U.S.! I'll write more after the 'Run! Love, O'Rita |
| May 5, 3:42 P.M. Dear Diary, Boy was I surprised when we reached Tulsa. I thought surely it would be like all of the other places we have seen so far, but it was SO BIG. They had tall buildings, even! The best thing that happened so far today is that we got lost on the way to the festival. Ordinarily that would be a bad thing, but we asked for directions at a roadside diner (something called SONIC?), and met the nicest lady! Her name is Traci and she has soft yellow hair. It smells like GRAPES! To be honest, I think Flora only liked her because she let her peck on her hair, but oh well. Off to the Puckerama! Maybe our new friend will let us stay with her once the Vaverkas move on... Love, 'Rita |
| May 9th Dear Diary, Sorry I skipped a day, but something awful happened! We were staying with Traci and her dogs and husband. It was dinner time, and she served FRIED CHICKEN! You could have heard a pin drop, it was so silent in the house. No one spoke, it was so uncomfortable. It could have been an honest mistake, but the girls and I decided it just wasn't safe to stay. Traci's husband said he understood, and even helped us sneak out while Traci slept. Boy, I hope she's not too mad. Anyway, we have built nests in a nearby park, under the Witch's Hat, and hope that we can sleep here for a couple of more days. We are looking for someone to ride with to our next adventure. Love, O'Rita |
| May 13th, 6:27 a.m. Diary, It's true. Juanita is following us! When I heard the rustling and BAAA from the bushes last night, I rounded up the girls and we hid. A few minutes later Juanita and her Goat Brotherhood were in our spots, rooting through our nests, and making a mess! They're after us, all right. It may be time to take action. Our next stop is Chickasha - and I am so excited, because it sounds just like a place Chickens should go. In Chickasha there is something called The Annual Bob Lowe Memorial Toy Tractor Show, and we're going. Hopefully we can come up with a plan on the way, and ditch Juanita soon. More later, O |
| May 16, 3:39 p.m. Diary, We just got the most exciting news! I pecked up a copy of the Chickasha Express-Star (Chickasha's News Source) at one of the park benches, and guess what? Tonight is a fabulous thing called the Hot Chocolate - Cool Jazz night at the college! We are going to taste us some chocolatey recipes tonight! I am almost positive there is no such thing as Chocolate Covered Chicken, so we are safe. And Lupe loves her some chocolate! More after the chocolate fest! 'Rita |
| May 24th Dearest D - We are still in Guthrie, OK. The history here is fascinating! Did you know that at one time Guthrie was the capitol of the state of Oklahoma? Apparently, the seal of the Great State of Oklahoma was moved here to protect it, and wherever the seal is, is the capitol of the state! Overall, it has been a fascinating stay, and I think we may come back in September for the Apples and Quilts Festival - doesn't that sound lovely? We are going to plan our next move tonight, so by tomorrow I'll know where we're heading! Later! O'Rita |
| May 26th DIARY! You won't believe it! The so-called "chicken farm" here is unbelievable! These chickens live in the LAP OF LUXURY! Their hen house is HEATED - that's right, HEATED! AND air conditioned - they have soft nests, and they're allowed to squawk and gossip all day with each other. They get fed TWO times a day, and have outdoor privileges - and there is no quota on eggs! I can't believe the evil that Horacio put us through. I have to find a way to make him pay! Flora and Lupe are making friends with the hens here, but we have to be careful that we aren't mistaken for belonging here - not that it would be so bad... We skipped Arbuckle Wilderness for this, but we're planning to go there tomorrow. Oh, and by the way, the music that we heard in the Ding family car has begun to grow on me. I wonder where I can get a CD... Love, O'Rita |
| May 30, 4:13 p.m. Dear Diary... Sorry it's been so long, but I just spent a very frustrating few days at Arbuckle Wilderness trying to get that Peacock's attention. He's so sexy, diary. I know I could have fallen in love with him, but I don't think he likes hens, if you know what I mean. I strutted my stuff and preened in front of him constantly, and he barely looked my way! I know I'm hot stuff, so that can only mean one thing! Anyway, the girls and I are heading to Turner Falls. We hear it's beautiful there at this time of year, and we want to see it for ourselves. It sure is starting to get HOT outside! Maybe we can take a dip! More later... O'Rita |
June 3 Diary! What a close call! We were on our way out the door when the Chef noticed us, and put out an all points bulletin - he thought we had escaped from the KITCHEN! Luckily, we were able to duck into some local college students' backpacks and wait it out until the hubub died down. We are currently ensconced in the back seat of a car belonging to Carol Chirp-Mack. She didn't even make us ride in the trunk! She lovingly buckled us into our seatbelts, turned up the A/C, and we were on our way! But I don't know where we're going... I guess it's not important. Oh, by the way, we heard in Stillwater that someone had stolen Tele from his locker, and torched his furry outfit. So, unfortunately, we didn't get to meet him. Too bad, he sounded like a nice enough guy. Till later! O'Rita |
| Dear Diary... OH MY GOODNESS. I never knew that I loved Pecans so much, and I never knew I was SO ALLERGIC! I am still recovering, but I wanted to write a little bit down so I wouldn't forget. I think Flora tried to read you, but since you are in a secret chicken code, I am sure she was terribly disappointed! CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!! Unfortunately, this morning, Tele died. He was so allergic to the pecans that his throat closed up and he choked. It was so sad. His funeral is going to be back in Stillwater sometime next week. I think we will try to go. Love, O'Rita |
| June 11th, At the Egg-crack of dawn Dear Diary, You won't believe where we are! We have been traveling for a while, and we are exhausted, but HOW EXHILERATING! We have arrived at the Glass Mountains, outside of Waynoka, situated in the Little Sahara State Park. The girls and I can't wait to don our hiking boots and explore! I think we'll stay here a few days before moving on. I wish you could see the sun glint off of the shining mountains here, Diary. It's breathtaking! Love, O |
| Oh, Diary, This place is beaufitul! Yesterday we were walking down to the pool, and we met another CHICKEN! Her name is Hester, and she doesn't have FEATHERS! She also has a strange scar on her neck that she refuses to speak of, but ANYWAY, Lupe and Flora are not sure they like her (they are such JEALOUS birds!), but Hester and I get along so well. We laid out, and Hester got QUITE a sunburn - thank goodness for my Feathers! Anyway, I am thinking of asking Hester to continue from here on our journey with us. I know it wouldn't be fair for me to do so without talking to Lupe and Flora, so I'll ask them first. I'm so nervous, Diary. Wish me luck! Love, O'Rita |
| Dear Diary, Here in the caverns, it is dark and quiet. It's also quite cool. We are doing our best to be quiet, as we think Juanita and her herd may be close behind us. They haven't reached Alabaster Caverns just yet, though. I am writing really lightly because the sound of scratching the paper may carry to the outside world. Thankfully, we found a good roosting spot in one of the five undeveloped caves. Since we are chickens, we didn't even need a permit. If we get out of this cavern safe and alive, I plan on exploring the Two Toes Trail, down into the canyon. I think we've earned that much at least! Well, Diary, Lupe is clucking in her sleep again. I'm going to wake her for her turn on watch and take some time for resting. Till later, Rit |
| June 28 Diary, I realize I forgot to mention what happened while we were hiding out in the Alabaster Caverns. You see, we waited a few days, and when Juanita failed to show up, we decided the coast was clear. We took that scenic Two Toes Trail, and what a beauty it was! Then we set out for Ponca. Just wanted to catch you up! Anyway, since we have been in Ponca City, I have learned a lot. I love bowling, and I think when we find a place to settle we'll all three join a league. Lupe got LOOPED on beer last night (AGAIN!) so we are hanging in today, waiting for her hangover to subside. More later! Rita |
| HOWDY, Diary! Since last I pecked, we have left Ponca City (named for an Indian tribe) and moved back to Guthrie, OK. It was once the Capitol of the state of Oklahoma! I must confess the real reason we came back, Diary. We came to have boots made at Dorwart's Custom Cowboy Boots. Since we have been seeing all of these cowboys around here, wearing their boots, we wanted to fit in. And of course, since we have chicken feet, we need special boots! Now that we have our boots, we are going to hang out at a rodeo at the Lazy E Arena! We are SO EXCITED! If only you could see the people's faces when we walk down the street in our new boots. Everyone is SO IMPRESSED! Well, Diary, OFF TO THE RODEO!!! Love, O'Rita |
| Ketchum, OK for the National Hook-N-Cook OFF!!! It's on Pelican Landing, and I CAN HARDLY WAIT!We are soooo excited! And guess what else Vinny told us??? Broken Arrow has an annual Rooster Days Festival! We have to go, because you and I both know that a chicken needs herself some rooster every now and then! Can I get a CLUCK CLUCK!?!?!? Love, "O" |
| Hola, el Diario... Ha sido tan largo desde que he escrito en el español. Decidà escribir en mi idioma nativo. Somos todavÃa en Flecha Rota, pero en el plan de permiso pronto. ¡Cuándo nosotros sabemos nuestro próximo destino, yo escribiré más! ¡Adiós! El amor, O'Rita |
| Hey, Diary! We went to the Folk Fest's second day activities, but were greeted at the gate with a sign that read "Absolutely NO PETS ALLOWED in Pastures of Plenty!" Of course, this meant that we had to convince the man at the gate that we were not mere pet hens, but free chickens of our own accord. It took a while, but he finally understood. We got in just in time to see Carter Sampson, from Tulsa, OK sing his folk best! So, we are staying, at least through Saturday, because that is when the Mary Jo Pancake Breakfast at Lou's Rocky Road Tavern takes place. We also want to do something called "Hoot for Huntingdons". But we don't know what it is - MORE SOON! Love, O |
| Diary... Our first stop, Avard, OK. Site of the 1956 mystery death of Mildred Ann Reynolds. We are going to investigate and see if we can't solve the mystery. Right now we are pulling into town, and Cosmo says we have to jump off the train as it slows down. We're scared, but we're CHICKENS, so we KNOW we can do it! Cosmo has been very helpful, but we're not altogether sure he doesn't want to eat us. Once we get to Avard, we'll decide what our next plan of action will be. Wish us luck in our mystery-solving efforts! O |
| Dear Diary, Angel and Slinky still have not returned from their investigation of the crime scene area. I don't know what to do, we are worried sick. And, to top it off, this camo paint is NOT coming off! Thank goodness mine matches my cowboy boots! I think that the Dove and I are going to head out there to check things out. We've heard that the stretch of road is haunted - I hope nothing bad has come of the two adventurers. More as soon as there is news! OH, and those raccoons may be following us - I'm not sure, but I think I heard them a couple of times. How do you lose a RACCOON?!? Fire |
| CLUCK CLUCK! We just bid Cosmo a tearful farewell. I was surprised at how hard it was to see him go. Fortunately for us, Cosmo gave us his address and assured us that we could write to him. How we'll ever hear back from him, I don't know, unless we find a place to settle into and nest. Anyway, we are still trying to get our camo paint off. We look pretty silly, even if I say so myself. Tomorrow morning we will look at the train schedule and pick our next destination. Till then, I am taking a nice roll in the dust, and a nap. Love, O |
| Diary, I have so much to tell you about my date with Peter (The Pelican). BUT... FIRST... Listen to what I found out about the Sand Portal... I think we have another mystery to solve! In 1894, Nancy Wright wandered into the hills to meet her boyfriend, and was never seen or heard from again! Almost all of the Beaverites turned out to look for her, and people from Gate and Forgan also came to help. Even though they never found Nancy, the searchers all came back with strange stories about green lightening. It is thought that she wandered into the portal, and was carried away to another dimension! That is the end of the story, but it just doesn't seem right! I want to know what happened to NANCY! More later today about our research, and about PETER PELICAN! Love, O |
| Diary... Before I go into ECSTASY over this watermelon festival, I know I need to catch you up on a couple of things... We found evidence that Nancy Wright didn't just "disappear" as previously believed. She up and left! She was having an affair with the town barber, and she was pregnant with his baby, so she pretended to walk in the woods, but she really went to another town to have the baby and raise it. The barber sent her checks, and even visited! What a sordid tale... Now, on to Peter (the Pelican? remember?). ANYWAY, our date was SO HOT. He was handsome, and polite. We had a great time, and he took me on the paddle boats. It was so romantic. I got his number, and as soon as I figure out how to use a phone, I'm going to call him. He said he would meet us at our next stop! I can't tell the girls, because they'll be jealous! Love, O'Rita P.S. David Chicken Cooperfield is the best! |
| Dear D! Guess who won the watermelon seed spitting contest?! ME!! I guess it has something to do with my beak, because no one could get them as far as I could! First prize was dinner with Cosmo. We are going to Macarenas Mexican Restaurant - MMMMM, SPICY! Just like Cosmo! Cosmo has promised to introduce the girls and I to some of the other friends he has met along the way. We are really looking forward to it! More soon! O'Rita |
| Hey, D! The 2nd day of the cruise and boy is stuff getting heated up. Abdul has seduced Lupe, and they can be seen together all over the cruise ship. They even went to the midnight buffet together. I know Lupe didn't sleep in our room last night, so I am pretty sure she must be enjoying herself. Last I saw, they were gazing at the water over the side rail, talking about politics. What crazy kids! Cosmo has been the ultimate host. He did stay in the hot tub a little too long last night, and how he looks a bit boiled. Maybe he'll let me smear lotion on his skin... CLUCK CLUCK - what a fun CRUISE! O'Rita |
| D - At first I was disappointed when we landed the magic carpet so soon after taking off, then we arrived at the Tulsa Airport Holiday Inn, and boy is this exciting! Abdul brought us here for Shadia Dahlal presenting Aziza Nawal, a one-day workshop on BELLY DANCING! The surprise in Abdul's napsack was a belly dancing outfit for me, and for Flora! Cosmo is wearing a very handsome fez, and I think we all look stunning. I have a feeling this could lead to some very sexy encounters, but that's just my opinion... ANYWAY, we are off to begin our lessons. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as we are finished! Love, O |
| DIARY! I AM SO UPSET! Apparently the main reason we are going to Oologah was to see the Insane Clown Posse at Cain's Ballroom. EVERYONE knows how I hate clowns - I can't stand them! And INSANE CLOWNS!? I can't seem to calm down. Lupe keeps trying to put a bag over my head, she thinks I am hyper-ventilating. WHY can't they see? Clowns are evil, and insane ones must be avoided AT ALL COSTS!!! Lord have MEEERCY! CLOWN CLUCK CLOWNS! Oh, HELP ME! O'Rita |
| Hey, Diary... Well, we are still in the loft, keeping watch over Juanita and the B.O.G. Flora got tired of guard duty, and threatened to fly the coop if we didn't share the watch with her. SO, now it is Cosmo and myself - we are OTP (that's on the prowl). Juanita and the B.O.G are hanging in the field with their cow friends. They seem to be pretending to graze, and milling about. But I know they are scheming. The only question is, should we stay and make a stand, or flee? I am getting sick of trying to get away from Juanita. Every time we find something we enjoy she comes and ruins it. Now that we have Cosmo and Abdul, I think we could really stand a chance agains the B.O.G. Especially since they are just a bunch of Nannies! The cows are another thing, though. How do you get past the cows? I'll write when I have a plan. For now, Cosmo and I are reporting for duty! Love, O |
| D.D., Well, it is Day 3 on the ranch, and Jim is so generous that we are truly considering a long-term stay! Sandy and her friends have made us feel so safe and welcome - and we know that a plan is being hatched (get it, hatched?!) to take care of Juanita and her evil cronies. Cosmo and I are starting to get serious. We have been talking a lot about the future, and it kind of scares me - but it is SO exciting to think about! Since you know all my true secrets, I will tell you that we are considering marriage. And, since Abdul is an ordained minister, we would ask him to do the honors! Picture it - the beauty of a sunset wedding here on the ranch, with Abdul, our dear friend, presiding! Of course, Flora and Lupe would be bridesmaids, and Sandy would be the flower girl. Oh, I am so happy! But I have to keep it to myself a little longer - we are not yet officially engaged! Love, O'Rita OR IS IT O'Cosmo!? |
| Hey, D. Wedding plans are moving right along. You could have heard a pin drop when I asked the girls to be my bridesmaids - chicken tears are so lovely in the moonlight. Jim is going to let us get married here on the ranch. He has offered to build us our very own Huppa! Jim is about the most generous man I have ever known. We are going into town tomorrow with Jim's wife, Lorraine, to shop for dresses. Jim has agreed to give me away, since I don't know who my father was, and Lorraine will serve as Mother of the Bride, since mine has gone on to that great chicken coop in the sky... But I don't want to be sad! Happy things are coming! Abdul was so touched that we asked him to marry us that he actually sniffled, and had to hold back his tears. Then he grabbed Cosmo in a big camel hug! Cosmo is going to ask his friend Politan to meet us here at the ranch, and to serve as best man. He also wants to ask the ranch hand, Pete, to serve as an usher. I sure hope they accept his invitation! Anyway, I'll write more later. The girls have a bridal magazine that they want to look at, so we are going to be up ALL NIGHT! Love, O |
| Hi, Diary! Today we picked out the flowers for the bridal party. We went into town with Lorraine, to her favorite flower shop. The birdsmaids will carry Parrot Bills, Birds of Paradise, meadow crow-foot, and goosefoot. For the groomsmen, the boutenirs will be made from Birds of Paradise and goosefoot. For MY bouquet, I am carrying goosefoot, Parrot Bills, Myrtle, Pheasant's Eye, Pimpernel, baby's breath, and catnip to make Cosmo CRAZY! I'd like to use the same flowers for the centerpieces at the reception. We have our first fitting with Wanda tomorrow - Can't wait to see the dresses! Cosmo has called for an appointment to be fitted for his tuxedo. Abdul is even going to wear one! All of the guys are going into town tomorrow with Jim to get it all straightened out. I can't wait!! Love, O |
| Hey, Diary... Today I went to wander around the ranch, looking for the perfect wedding spot. Sandy, the horse approached me with a problem. All this time, I thought Sandy was a girl, when she's a HE! Sandy was flattered that we wanted him to be the flower girl, but didn't think it would work out. SO, I suggested that he serve as ring bearer, and he was so excited! Whew! What a narrow miss, I had forgotten about Sandy when I asked Juanita to be Flowergoat! Anyway, Wanda is coming tomorrow with our dresses, for our first fitting. The girls are all aflutter just thinking of it! We are so excited! Tonight, Juanita is bringing the holsteins to the barn to meet us. I think we're going to get a lot of explaining out of the way when we meet. The presence of the cows is still a mystery. But we'll see what happens! More later - I'll write about the cows! Love, O |
| Hey, D. As we keep on planning for the wedding, Cosmo and I are trying to write down all of our feelings, and capture the moments as they pass. Since I have been doing that for a while now, through you, Cosmo asked if he could have a turn at writing, and I agreed. The next entry will be from my beloved! Cosmo has requested that we dance our first dance as a married couple to "What's New, Pussycat", by Tom Jones. What a great idea! I can't wait for this wedding to take place. Well, Cosmo's entries will start, and I will keep writing, so get ready, Diary - it's wedding madness! Love, O.O.K. |
| Dear D., Cosmo Kitty here. Just wanted to write about the latest wedding plans. We are trying to have Cat Stevens come to play the wedding march on his guitar. We have our fingers crossed! O'Rita is my lovely chicken - my finger lickin bride. I can't wait to marry her, it fills me up with pride... I think that we are going to do the wedding at Christmas - my siblings have all gotten the go-ahead to travel at that time! We'll let you know when the plans have been finalized! Cosmo |
| Hey, D... I write this entry with a heavy heart. Cosmo has become so despondent over his sister Celeste's NASTY letter that he won't come out from under the barn. He has been there for a few days now, and he just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Lupe and Flora have been clucking about going to Eureka Springs and giving her something to mew about. I'm trying to talk them out of it. I am trying to write a letter to her without being too angry. Mostly I want her to understand how poor Cosmo feels. He wanted all of his brothers and sisters (the ones from his litter) at the wedding. Seems that Celeste is going to ruin his dream. So far we have heard back from some of his OTHER littermates - I am especially anxious to meet his brother Gomez Gonzalez! Love, O |
| Big D! I can't believe the wedding is in just TWO WEEKS! Wanda had all of the dresses ready, and except for Flora's (she put on a little weight), everyone fit PERFECTLY! Flora's a little stymied by her weight gain, and I am a witness to her constant exercising, but maybe she's with eggs! Anyway, we ordered the flowers, including the all-important pussy willows, and they should be in the day before the wedding. Juanita is going to help me decorate once the flowers come in. A surprise for Juanita is in store, too. I have a beautiful crown of lillies that she is going to wear on her head during the ceremony! I know she'll love it! We're going to finalize the ceremony music with the Moo Brothers this evening! We're so eggcited! The anticipation is AWESOME! Love, O |
| Dear D! Today I walked into the barn, innocent as the hen I am, and SURPRISE! It was my wedding SHOWER! We got some of the nicest gifts! Flora and Lupe worked hard together to create one of the most elaborate and beautiful nest liners I have ever seen. They even embroidered our names on it, with an eternity symbol. It's wonderful! Juanita gave us a beautiful cashmere throw for the lovenest, and I know she had that made from her own fur, so it's even more priceless. Sandy the horse has given us the gift of transportation, and will serve to take us to and from our honeymoon destination! The best gift of all came last, though. Jim and his wife had quite the surprise in store. Not just for me, but for all of my friends. They have built a beautiful chicken house for us, complete with indoor plumbing, heat and a/c, and all of the amenities! It has a private chamber for Cosmo and I, and each of the girls. It's amazing, Diary. Juanita is to have her own goat pen, with the same amenities! Jim even has a "friend" for Juanita - seems he has been waiting to introduce them, but the friend is coming to our wedding. Maybe it'll be a LOVE CONNECTION! Jim has invited us to stay here, permanently. We are so happy! Love, O |
| Diary (HIC)! HA HA !!! You should see what the girls had in store! That black cock showed up, and he was dressed up like a dick, NO! a duck. He quacked and waddled his way over to me and started his striptease. It was great! I am so drunk, and Flora is getting VERY friendly with the cock over in the next nest. I heard that Cosmo and Abdul got so drunk on the vodka that he missed his special surprise, because he fell asleep! CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK! OK, I have to sleep this off, or I'm going to have a hangover in the morn. Hope that cock can control his crowing. O |
| Dear D - My feathers are all atwitter! First of all, Flora DEFINITELY went home with the entertainment after the hen party. AND she stayed there for TWO DAYS! Of course, she has now become very attached to the cock, and he is coming to the wedding, but anyway... GUESS WHAT?! We just found out that this is the Chinese year of the ROOSTER! And we're getting married! We are so excited! How prophetic... Anyway, only about a week till the wedding bells ring! CHIRP! O'Rita |
| Well, Diary, the RSVPs just keep coming! Today we received word that Carol Chirp-mack and her family will be in attendance - remember her? We also received word from the custom boot outfitters that made our beautiful chicken boots - they are not going to be able to make the wedding, but they ARE sending us a special gift! The Dinglers arrived yesterday, they came early to help with whatever we need (they're such nice people!) and they brought 47 Mummers with them! It's great - they are dressed in feathers and sequins, and are very fancy, and they're going to play me up the aisle with their banjos and saxophones! I'm so excited! Oh, and they use OSTRICH feathers for their costumes, so they're chicken-friendly! Well, more later. I'm getting so excited I can't keep my thoughts straight! Cock a Doodle MEOW! O'Rita |
| Dear D, Wanda arrived early this morning with the dresses. She put some beautiful finishing touches on mine, and it is wonderful! It fits like a dream! Oh, and we got the special package from the bootmakers, and I got wedding shoes! They're gorgeous, white with sequins and pearls embossing them, and a slight heel to make me feel sexy! And they had my exact measurements on file, so they fit perfectly, too! Flora and Lupe got shoes to match their dresses - we all look like such HOT CHICKS!!! HA HA HA! I had my feathers set, so there is a slight wave to them all over my body. It's quite a stunning effect - not many people have seen a hen with curly feathers before! I hope Cosmo likes it... I'm going to go have Lupe apply my makeup (she's so talented), and then get dressed! I'll write more after I'm finished those preparations. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S TODAY! Love, O |
| Diary, First, let me say, it was beautiful. I have so much to write... When Lupe and Flora each took a wing, and we stepped into the aisle, all eyes were on me. The custom-made slippers that the bootmakers from Guthrie sent for all three of us made our dresses even more stunning. Anyway, here is a step-by-step of the ceremony: Flora and Lupe each took a feather and walked me down the aisle, where I saw Cosmo, so handsome in his tuxedo, standing and waiting. I looked all around me and saw the faces of those we had only just met, but that had come to mean so much to us, and I cried a little. The altar was festooned with a beautiful arch covered in Parrot Bills, Birds of Paradise, Pheasant's Eye, and goosefoot. Abdul stood there, behind Cosmo, and a tear fell from his eye. He was resplendant in a beautiful lavendar silk vestment. Flora and Lupe, in their crows-beak yellow bridesmaids dresses were enough to take the breath away from any bystander. The whole thing was lovely. When we arrived at the alter, Cosmo took my wing, and Abdul proceeded to marry us. Not an eye was dry by the time we said our "I Cocka-Doodle Do's", and we all made our way back to the barn for some good old down-home fun. The reception was another thing - I'll write about it as soon as I can. Cosmo just came in! Love, O'Rita KITTY! |
| Today we returned to the farm, and to our friends. We were so happy to see the old gang, and my how being gone a little while can change things! We are all moved into our beautiful hen/cat house, as are the girls. Flora and Ezekiel are now cohabitating, and SURPRISE - there are chicks on the way! Flora couldn't be happier, and they are planning a wedding sometime next spring, after the chicks are hatched and the nest is once again empty. Lupe and Abdul decided to go on a trip together. They're leaving tomorrow. Camel and chicken traveling the world. I know they'll have lovely stories to tell when they return home. I know their love is meant to be. I heard that Abdul may introduce her to his family, and then the engagement ring will be given. Lupe has no idea how her life will change! Juanita has met Jim's friend, Vargas. He's a llama from El Salvador, who's settled in at Jim's for the long haul. So far they've been on three dates, but maybe things will heat up. For Juanita's sake, I hope so! Oh, how things have changed since that long ago day when three chickens, a horse, and a mule set out to escape from their evil slavedriver. I think in the end we may all find our true happiness. Because of that, dear diary, I have decided that I don't need you anymore. In fact, I am going to pass you on to Lupe so that she can chronicle her journeys with her love, Abdul. Diary, thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I can't wait to start living to the fullest with my loving husband Cosmo. And we have made plans for CHICKS! HOW? you ask... Well, we've found a surrogate cock to fertilize my eggs! Dear Diary, please serve Lupe well in her travels. I can hardly wait to learn what happens to her. Love, O'Rita Kitty 10/4/2005 |
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