Torn Emotion

My love had never seen the light of day,
Until I met this beauty at night.
Long black hair, deep eyes, a full smile,
Cheeks that made me want to kiss them
Until I could taste the rose petals
That made them the color blush.

I knew from the beginning that I
Couldn’t have her, but my emptiness
Craved her laughter to fill my soul.
Just the mention of her name
Caused me to rethink the outcome
Of my future plans of existence.

I thought I could deny the connection
That I hastily sought to place between us.
But the white worn linen softness
Of her hands wove an entangling web
As easily as they had caressed my face.

Overtaken by my new found release,
I allowed myself to delve deep into
This well of love uncontested.
She gladly obliged my efforts
By offering a warm heart to
Still my fears of rejection.

But all was not right in paradise,
As others would come to asphyxiate
My attempt to find joy in my life’s cage.
My cage, though grand in stature,
And diverse in appearance, still was no less
Confining than a pair of body shackles.

Every second that I lie basking in her sun
was like the hollow hour before a
Death row inmate receives his penance.
I want to stop the facade,
But I’m run over by the momentum
Of my need to feel loved.

I cannot, I dare not, try and hurt her.
But by my hesitance, I only prolong and
Add fire to the impending day of destruction.
If she only knew my hope, my dream,
To find someone half as good as her within my cage,
I feel she could help me to let go of her.

I swallow my courage and bite my lip.
The blood is like acid on my palate.
I advance in this battle of torn emotion,
Certain of one thing only.
My loss today shall be equaled by
The fact I received her reward before losing it.