A humorous poem about PMS, where "Aunt Matilda" is code for, errrrr...Ma Nature. |
It's a time I truly detest absolutely my least favorite week I hate my monthly visit with Aunt Matilda from Red Creek I always know when she's coming her train painfully rumbles down my tracks when it does I race right out to the store and buy up all of their snacks "Get my chocolate! Get my salt!" she screams, as she busts down my door she's looking like a female Rambo decked out and ready for war! Immediately she starts running amok kicking down chairs - smashing my table then stopping only just long enough to cry at a Lifetime movie on cable Next thing you know she starts channeling the Wicked Witch from the West "I'll get you - my prettyyyyyy!" Now I have zits? Holy sh*t, she's possessed! "You make me insane, you cramp my style, and now everyone around me's in a panic!" "Who cares?" she replied, "Half the fun in this game comes from making you completely manic!!" I stormed and I shouted, "But Aunt Matilda! Just look at this disaster you uncorked!!" She said, "Be grateful and settle in for the week; it was either ME or that damnable stork!!!" |