It's raining...it's my time.

so i find myself sitting in the cold. the rain. the mud. that's the way i like it. sure i could go inside. good for me that fate, or luck, or God, or the divine powers of the universe, whichever floats your boat, thought it fit for me to be an average little white girl who has a home and a good family and a life worth living. No! leave them! leave my gramatical errors! they like being wrong, and bully for anyone that wishes to change them. who do you think you are, God? i like it better wrong. perfection is something that i don't wish to strive for. the rain. i love it as much as others hate it. and they only hate it because they aren't allowed to sit in it. they might catch a cold. it starts pouring and a smile appears on my face that wont go away. i feel alive. alive!to be wet. i love it. i LOVE it. i feel like im not stuck anymore. not trapped anymore. open. open to do whatever i please. and why is it so different from when it's not raining? i don't know. probably because it is raining. and only that. why else?i will not strive for perfection. its not that i can't, it's that i want to by nature. and that is a fight that i wont let myself win. i dont want to want perfection. i want to. i wont let myself beat me.i want it wrong. because in my eyes it's right. and there's nothing you can do to change that. you can't change me. Just as much as you can't change the weather. if it's raining, it's raining. and if its raining, then its my time. time to grow. to glow. to shine. to be happy. to breathe. to live. to be...alive!