Neither Hot nor Cold

It has suddenly come to my attention that I am what is termed as a lukewarm Christian.

Refer to Revelation 3:15-16 - I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would that thou wert cold or hot:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth:

It's pretty much the same as when you drink coffee or tea. Most people prefer to drink hot tea or iced tea. The same stands for hot coffee or iced coffee. If either beverage is served to you lukewarm, I can almost guarantee that it won't be appreciated by the recipient. So,... why should God be any different?

I have spent some time in the past pondering the question, "Just when did I leave my first Love?". It happened so subtlety that I didn't even notice for a while that it was slipping away. After a good while, I began to notice, but I no longer cared. I was tired of this God "thing" with all of the "empty" promises. I was tired of all of the hurt and disappointments of life and the fact that it didn't matter that I was Christian. Where were the automatic perks? I'm asking, "Where?"

You see, I felt that God "owed" me something for choosing Him. I had done my part. He just wasn't keeping His end of the bargain. So why should I serve a God who really didn't care about me and probably didn't even have time to concern Himself with my problems? (Or so I thought.)

I had everything planned. I'd "serve" God and in return, He'd "serve" me. Everything in my life was supposed to go just right with no real problems. I had God's "insurance" against that..right? I mean, that's the way it was supposed to work...wasn't it?

Now, just how different was I from the average junkie who felt that if he/she could just take a hit of the "juice" everything would be all right? You know...instant gratification is the way to go. Or how about just a new love partner, just one more house, one more car, another new drug, or one more dress and everything will be all right... In any case, I wanted MINE and I wanted it RIGHT NOW!!! Or else!

As I look back, I can see just how naive and childish I was with all of my temper tantrums(yes, the above named vices can be viewed as temper tantrums) against God. If I just kept acting up, I was sure that He'd eventually throw me a bone just to keep me quiet.

Now, that wouldn't be Godlike behavior would it? No, that's more like the behavior of some wimp or some wuss who can't take the heat. And God is no wimp who pleads with us to see things His way. He's a perfect Gentleman who doesn't make us do anything. We have a choice in everything that we do. We can keep whining and acting up and stomping our feet until we get tired and grow up and see that life is not Burger King. We can't have it our way.

God is sovereign and He knows what is best for us. Pretty much the same way in which we know that our children will eventually stop crying when they learn that they can't have ice cream for dinner. It seems like a pretty good idea to them at the time, but it is one of the wackiest ideas for a balanced nutritious meal there is.

I used to measure myself up against people that I had been watching with some degree of contempt for being so "sold out" to Christ. "Poor saps", I thought, "It doesn't take all of that." But according to Revelation 3:15-16,(see top of page)it does.

God allowed me to live long enough to see that adults act and think differently than children. Adults are supposed to see the big picture and know that instant gratification is not all that it is cracked up to be. And God is faithful to His promise.
Yes, I still have yet to see the entire fulfillmemt of His promises but that depends on me and how well I mature so that I will be able to fully appreciate and respect it. I am learning to exercise my faith without which, it is impossible to please Him.

At my age,(fortysomething) I am finally growing up. I respect myself better for the improvement and I thank God for His patience.

Thank you for your time.