Blurps

I Love You


I close my eyes.....


I’m standing on top of a cliff. On a dry stone in the middle of a river, on the edge of a waterfall. The drop is a long one. I have my arms out to my sides and I am looking up at the night sky. So very many stars.

I can feel a warm breeze coming from behind me, blowing my long blonde hair about me. I am not wearing much in the way of clothing. Something wrapped around my upper arms, cloth of some kind, black arm bands. A head band that matches the arm bands. A black cloth bikini style top, with a chain-mail bikini thing over it, and a loin cloth, black. Barefoot, with bands of black cloth tied around my ankles. I have beads in my hair, and on necklaces around my throat. A small chain wrapped around my belly.

I am screaming at the top of my lungs. There is no reason other then it makes me happy to do so. While I am screaming I search the heavens for any of the constellations that I know. There are more stars then I have ever seen in my life out tonight, I can not even find the Big Dipper.

The wind passing my ears creates music. I feel the music, deep inside of me, echoing in my very soul. It breaks my heart, but it makes my soul fly. It is echoing your words to me. I love you.

With that I just flow forward, my hands out to my sides, off the rock, over the waterfall. I feel the wind passing me. I know I am falling, but I feel like I am flying. For the first time in a long time, I feel wholly alive, free, and happy.


I just close my eyes and delve deep into love....




**************************************************


Dreaming


Taking a deep breath I close my eyes and begin the trip....


I haven’t been there in a while. I smile in anticipation. I can feel the sun shinning down on me through the canopy of leaves, the smooth dirt beneath my bare feet. The smell of wildflowers all around me. I put my arms up into the air as if hugging the world that I am walking into and exhale the breath that I just now realize I was holding.

My eyes open as my hands fall back down to my sides and now I couldn't stop the smile creeping across my face if I tried with everything that I had. Twirling around in a circle I look at the old familiar forest and the path that I am on. Suddenly I just can't wait to be at my destination, I start jogging now. My feet barely even touch the ground as my speed builds up.

My blue jean hip hugging bell-bottoms seem like it should be in my way, but it isn't. I feel the wind of my passing through my long golden tresses. My joy is growing as my destination gets closer, around this next turn in the path and then....

My eyes widen in wonder as I see a cliff edge where my destination should be. I try to slow down and stop, but I can't. Then I hear this song coming to life all around me, Dreaming by BT.... my worry turned back into joy. I don't try to stop anymore, but instead I try to go faster.

Out of the corner of my eyes I can see things trying to pace me, smiling I put my arms out toward their respective sides and jump off the cliff. The wind rushes past me and is nothing to me, the weight of my body is getting less and less by the second and I am free.

I look back at the cliff that I jumped off of, but it is below me. Grinning now I see what was beside me, little people, laughing I remember stories of the faeries. I turn back around to see one in front of me, but he is not so little, in fact he is as tall as I am, but beyond any beauty that I have ever beheld.

I gasp and blink and try to hold this sight in my mind forever. The silver-gold of his long hair, and the fairness of his soft skin. The whisper of his wings, and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Then he brings his hand up as if to offer it to me.

I hesitate only a moment then reach out for him, his hand brushes mine and then he turns and goes about ten feet away. His hand still out with one finger crooked into a come hither gesture. I flash him a smile that even goes into my eyes, and go to him. This time he is gone before I can blink. Looking around, I don't see him anywhere.

That's when I feel warm breath on my neck and my eyes close as I savor the feeling. Silken skin flows like water against my bare belly. His arm is around me, holding me close to him. I think that if he dropped me and I fell all the way to the earth beneath me that I could truly die happy.

I feel a rush of wind all around me as he starts to take me somewhere, a voice like a wind through a thousand trees and yet like a soft blanket wrapped around me whispers to me. “My Angel, feel my arms and know that I will always be there. Hear my voice and know that I will forever listen to you. Feel my kiss,” and warmth like I have only dreamed began within me, his soft luscious lips brushed mine. “Know that I will for all eternity love you. My name is Axelle.”

Before I could say or do anything, I felt grass under my feet and his arms where no longer around me. My eyes opened and I looked about, but he was gone. I was at my destination. My mind strived to work and I could only stand there and wonder if I would ever see him again. I must have stood there for a long time because my legs started to not want me to stand there anymore.

I finally really became aware of where I was, looking about I smiled. My destination was as pretty as I remembered it to be. The clearing of the forest, with one giant weeping willow in the middle, an old rope and board swing hanging from one of the branches. Wildflowers everywhere smelling wonderful and being colorful to the eye. A stream off to my left that I knew had a wonderful waterfall babbled, but my body was so tired that I just lay there and stared at the sun as it began its race to its bed.


**************************************************



Mourning Mask



Looking down at the stars, the darkness in between. I smile a small happy private little smile and think of them caressing my bare body. I hear a melody that makes me happy and carefree. I raise my arms up above me and do a dance to express myself, swishing my hips from side to side, my long blond hair swaying like a curtain in the breeze.

I kneel down close to the stars and then spring up, jumping out and diving down into the stars. They ripple like water. I swim in the stars thinking of you. I feel their warmth and think of us. The water pressing against my body, just like you have before.

The thought makes me sad. I know that there will be no us. No more love to receive. My heart breaks a little more and I start to sink. I can see through sleepy eyes. She caresses you, she holds you, she loves you. You will never really come back to me. You will come to me when you feel lonely, or when you feel desire. But you will never be mine.

My tears fall unheeded down my cheeks. Making it rain in some world somewhere. I curl into a ball and wrap my arms around myself. I feel like I am drowning. I opened to much to you when I knew I shouldn’t. I feel pain stream through my body from my heart.

A burning starts and I am engulfed in grief. I am in mourning for my love. I feel lost like a child separated from its mother. I sound pathetic and weak even to myself. I hate the feelings I want them to go away. I think I will just lock them up inside like I do everything else and pretend that this never happened.

I will smile and pull a mask on when I am around people. No one will ever know what I am really feeling again....I can’t get the damn repaired though and I am still crying. I try to compose myself, I stretch my arms above my head, my feet straight out. I take a deep breath and tell myself to be strong.

I gather my mask to myself again, smiling. I swim back up and surface in a lake. I swim over to shore and wade out. I look up at the stars and sky that I just came from and think one last time of you...