Secrets

Secrets

she stares deeply into my eyes
searching for hidden truths
those that I dare not show her
those that are better left untold
no, I am not a bad person
just one with secrets
secrets of times gone by
of loves come and gone
the healing not yet complete
but under the surface
and not yet ready to reveal them to anyone
mine are no worse then anyone elses
but I don't like to play with my heart
and the last time it was broken into many pieces
the lust for her I am not able to hide
that she can see, and not just in my eyes
but I am not ready to show her love
even though it is there waiting to come out
a love that is stronger then ever before
but I will not show her that yet
it is not time for her to know that
it is one of my secrets
the one that has the most impact
at least on me it does
no, I am not a bad person
but I refuse to to show love so soon
I guess the pains and sorrows
of times gone by have affected me that way
is it bad? I don't think so
I do still love, just unable to trust so soon
another broken heart must be blocked at all costs
I move my arms around her waist
pulling her to me tightly
our eyes still locked and searching
seeing the reflection of a man that knows hurt
that has promised not to be hurt by love again
only fools never learn from past experiences
her body clings to mine as we embrace
our lips touch, a kiss, a look of satisfaction
a smile, and another kiss
hearts beating as one as our tongues dance together
she knows, even though the words have not been spoken
the kiss breaks and her eyes find mine again
I see in them the wanting
waiting for me say the words she longs to hear
the silence looms unendlessly in the room
a tear rolls down her cheek
no, I am not a bad person
I do not like the pain that she feels
but she does not share my secrets
the ones that have built a solid wall around my heart
she lays her head on my shoulder
accepting my silence for the moment
content with the heat of our bodies as they touch
I bend down, reach under her legs and pick her up
as her arms circle my neck, a sigh in my ear
carrying her toward the bedroom
no, I am not a bad person
I will say those words that she longs to hear
meaning each and every word as I say them
but not tonight, it is not yet time for her to know
my secrets